Product Description

Why do more than half of all marriages end in divorce? And why is there so much unhappiness in the marriages that survive? Greg Baer offers the solutions for a long-lasting marriage in his anticipated follow-up to Real Love

No matter how many wounds have been inflicted in a marriage, Greg Baer believes that they can be healed, giving both partners the sense of fulfillment and joy they’ve always wanted. With practical anecdotes and exercises throughout, Baer shows you:
* Why our spouses are not the root cause of how we feel and behave
* The truth about why we get angry with our spouses and argue with them
* How to eliminate—not just manage—anger and conflict
* How to identify what we need to change about ourselves
* How you and your partner can both get what you want out of the marriage
* How you can break the cycles of expectation and disappointment
* How to prevent divorce, and how to know when it’s the right option

There are no quick solutions to fixing a marriage. With Greg Baer as your guide, you can begin to heal the wounds of the past and cultivate the lifelong commitment to stay with your partner while learning how to unconditionally love him or her.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #64961 in Books
• Published on: 2007-09-20
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 352 pages

Review
“...assures readers that the power of love can overcome all obstacles in a marriage. With illustrations from real couples, guidelines for better communication, and exercises for the reader, Baer goes at the problem of finding and maintaining Real Love from all angles.”
—Ladies Home Journal

“With marriage down and divorce up, it’s tough to get and stay married these days. But therapist Greg Baer says you can have a happy marriage by learning to love your partner unconditionally...practicing Real Love.”
—Chicago Tribune

Review
“...assures readers that the power of love can overcome all obstacles in a marriage. With illustrations from real couples, guidelines for better communication, and exercises for the reader, Baer goes at the problem of finding and maintaining Real Love from all angles.”
—Ladies Home Journal

“With marriage down and divorce up, it’s tough to get and stay married these days. But therapist Greg Baer says you can have a happy marriage by learning to love your partner unconditionally...practicing Real Love.”
—Chicago Tribune

About the Author
Greg Baer, M.D., is the author of Real Love and founder of The Real Love Institute. An expert on the subjects of anger elimination, relationships, dating, love, marriage, parenting, and workplace conflict resolution, he conducts seminars and workshops around the country. Greg has appeared as a guest on more than 1,400 radio and television programs nationwide and has spoken at seminars and other events across the country. Greg and his wife have raised seven children.

Customer Reviews

Real Love saved my husband's life
I discovered Real Love about a year ago, and after reading Real Love, The Truth about Finding Unconditional Love and Fulfilling Relationships, I immediately ordered the marriage book and parenting book. After 15 years of marriage, and dealing with the beginnings of the teen-age years with our children, I was searching for something better. I'd already been through many of the parenting and relationship books (and programs), with some success, but when I started reading the Real Love books, I knew I'd found something different. I was incredibly intrigued by the idea that I could ELIMINATE anger from my life, and conflict from my marriage.

Fast forward to today, and while I haven't totally eliminated anger from my life, I feel transformed into a happy and more peaceful person. I realize now that I didn't even really know what happiness was before. My relationships with my children and my husband are much more joyful, genuine, and just... easier. And, during a recent medical crisis, this new way of being helped me through the stress and turmoil, made it possible for me to effectively communicate with the doctors, and enabled me to make better decisions - all of which helped save my husband's life.

Maybe that seems kind of extreme, and I sure don't want to minimize the personal effort I put into practicing these principles, but I truly believe without the knowledge of Real Love, the past few months would have happened very differently, and it's likely my husband wouldn't have survived.

The principles of Real Love are not really new principles, but are simple time-honored truths. So, I'd already come across similar ideas in other books (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, The Road Less Traveled, and Love and Logic), but this was the first time I'd seen practical suggestions on how to eliminate anger (not just manage or control it). Additionally, the way the information is presented really made it easy for me to apply the ideas in my life.

Greg Baer combines a backbone of philosophical/spiritual truths with a practical, step-by-step process to improving relationships. Through the use of memorable stories like "The Wart King" he explains the principles in a way that is easy to understand and recall. He puts control squarely in each individual's court, and gives you the power and freedom to change your life. In this amazing process, your relationships naturally transform to become more genuine, more loving, and best of all, more fun.

I always prided myself on my personal integrity and character in dealing with other people. I would sometimes get angry and yell, but "only" at my husband or children, so most people saw me as a kind, helpful, responsible and cheerful person. I didn't even realize it until things started to change, but I really wasn't even happy before. I spent most of my time doing things to earn other people's love and approval. I guess I was fooled into thinking my husband and I had a good relationship because everyone else seemed to think we did. In truth, we were just living in the same house, sort of "tolerating" each other. We had learned to get along and make do with being cordial and considerate of each other's needs. We each had our own life, work, friends, and passions, and they didn't often meet. More often than not, when our lives met, it would be over a difference, with both of us needing to be "right," and resulting in anger, yelling, accusations, or at least disappointment and hurt.

Real Love in Marriage helped me see how I was being dishonest in my relationship with my husband, and how I was "running" from him. I wasn't really intimate with him (sharing my hopes, dreams, and passions), because I was afraid he wouldn't accept (love) me. So, I really felt very alone and unloved. Initially, I had visions that my husband and I would read the marriage book together, and we'd sail through our children's teen years without any disasters, and dance our way into our golden years together. I was terribly disappointed when my husband discounted Real Love as "yet another idea (obviously a stupid one)" of mine that I wanted him to buy in on.

But with the practical steps and examples in the book, I was able to take responsibility for my unhappiness, and see that much of my dissatisfaction with my husband was really just because I didn't feel loved, and that I had come to our marriage not feeling loved (it wasn't his fault!) I was trying to control him and prove myself right...I was being very selfish and not really concerned about his happiness! I attended some groups, and practiced sharing my truth with others who could accept me, even with my selfishness and imperfections. It was truly a transforming process. As I felt more loved by others, I was able to see my husband more clearly. I saw that he wasn't trying to be critical and unloving toward me, but that he was just "drowning" - Greg Baer's way of describing how people act when they don't feel loved.

Real Love in Marriage logically dispels the myth that our partners are responsible for making us happy. In addition to the exercises in each chapter, the book is filled with memorable quotes in Greg Baer's Real Love vernacular that were really helpful to me in learning to be more loving. Now, I "tell my truth" so that I stay "filled up". And when I start to get irritated, it's a sign to me that I'm getting "empty and afraid" and just need to "be seen and heard" by a "wise man or woman." When my husband is angry and attacking, I "just add water" and realize that he's just "drowning." With this awareness, I am able to love and accept him, which is just what he really needs. Before, I used to take everything personally, and I would get angry and attack back. Now that I feel more loved, I realize that all of us are pretty empty and afraid, and I stay "filled up" by being more loving and accepting of others.

Recently, our family has been through an incredibly stressful time. During a "simple" back surgery to repair a herniated disk, my husband's disk was infected by a serious bacteria. Due to complications from the multiple surgeries and drugs, he ended up in critical care with major organ systems shutting down, and totally delirious on pain medications. Five different doctors were treating him, and they couldn't understand what was happening. I was operating on practically no sleep, little food, with my husband's life on the line. I know that my knowledge and practice of Real Love made a tremendous difference in my efforts to get the doctors to work together so that better decisions could be made about his treatment.

As my husband's recovery continues, so does my work with Real Love. Real Love has turned what might have been a loss of life and a huge tragedy for our family, into an opportunity for all of us to become happier and find more love and joy in our lives together.

Life-changing attitude readjuster. Marriage tune up included. ;)
still reading it but already had my change of heart. Profound. Positive Psychology at it's best!!! Totally worth reading. Probably even over and over again. I have lots of red flags (markings) in there.

Real Love in Marriage: The Truth About Finding Genuine Happiness Now and Forever
This information is long over due. With the understanding of Unconditional Love marriage takes on a completely different purpose.