Product Description

For all of us forced to deal with an infuriating, mean, critical person, seasoned counselor Nina Brown has a word of warning. You must accept that your usual coping strategies are not effective, and will not be effective, with this person, she advises. You cannot expect them to react and behave as adults. So what's a victim to do? Start with the suggestions in this book.

In Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People, Brown explains why many people, who may not display all of the characteristics necessary for a formal, full-blown narcissist diagnosis, still display what she calls a destructive narcissistic pattern that results in much the same anguish for those with whom the individual interacts. Thankfully, she also provides specific methods that will help victims of this behavior deal with the narcissistic colleague, supervisor or boss, parent, or intimate other.

Only the extremely lucky among us have never faced or felt the effects of narcissistic behaviors and attitudes, displayed by colleagues, bosses, friends, parents, or lovers. These individuals may boast and brag constantly, take credit for other people's work, expect favors but return few or none, never listen (but always know all the answers), be sure of what is right and best regardless of the topic. They devalue others, micromanage, are hypercritical and mistrustful. Other characteristics of this harmful personality include an inflated sense of importance, although achievements are exaggerated and actual outcomes don't support feelings of superiority. They are exploitative, without empathy, and believe they are envied by all. Brown's excellent advice will help you cope.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #152206 in Books
• Published on: 2006-10-30
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 208 pages

Review
“Writing in a clear, accessible style, the author focuses on how to alleviate the intense feelings and stress that often accompany dealing with such difficult people. This book could also be a resource for those working with alcoholics and others engaging in self-centered patterns of destructive behavior. This is a book for practitioners, mediators, marriage and family therapists, and those in training for those professions; it is not for laypersons. Highly recommended. Graduate students and professionals.”–Choice

“No doubt you have worked for one of them, been taught by one of them, or married one of them. They brag, take credit for the work of others, expect favors but give none, never listen, and know what is right and best, regardless of the topic. Take heart. Brown has a name for these people and she assures us they and not we are the problem. Far from urging those who must endure those with destructive narcissistic behaviors and attitudes to get over it, get behind it, or just take it, she carefully describes the specific behaviors you can diffuse by recognizing them and moderating the impact on yourself, including blocking identification, understanding your own cognitive distortion, using emotional insulation and refusing to empathize.”–Reference & Research Book News

“[N]ina Brown, is clearly the authority on the DNP. Thus, if you have to interact regularly with someone you suspect may exhibit DNP, then this is without a doubt the book you should read for help.”–metapsychology.mentalhelp.net

“Narcissistic behaviors displayed by those in power, friends and lovers affect everyone and are prevalent throughout society, which is why Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People is so important and explains a destructive mental pattern which takes hold and affects many. Methods to help victims of this behavior are provided and come from a scholar/professor in Educational Leadership and Counseling, covering everything from indifference to others and emotional intimacy challenges to projection, protection and conquering loneliness. An outstanding guide surveys both victims and survivors as well as the narcissistic personality, this book is a pick for not only college-level holdings strong in psychology and sociology, but for general-interest library collections.”–Library Bookwatch

About the Author
NINA W. BROWN is a Professor and Eminent Scholar in the Educational Leadership and Counseling Department at Old Dominion University.

Customer Reviews

Should be more books like this.
Although I gave this book a "five" I do find that the book is lacking (in fact I probably should give it a four.) Yes, I know one is usually supposed to list the positives before talking about negatives, but this book could have been a definitive book if the author had stayed more in line with her title.

Here's the only beef I had with the book: She does an excellent job helping the layperson to understand narcissism more fully--which *is* a necessary part of the coping/healing process when dealing with narcissists. But, seriously, there are a fair number of books on the market which tell of the traits, tendencies and charactaristics of the narcissistically challenged. Too few of them deal with how to cope with narcissists with the depth the author does--but still he doesn't go far enough.

The author is at her best and, to me at least, was most helpful when addressing the issue of how **we** add to the misery in dealing with narcissists by the poor way we react to them--and why we do so. I'm convinced that if the author had fleshed-out this part of his book more fully it could save a number of people from heading to counselors for help and could have been a very helpful resource for those of us who are in counseling because of narcissistic abuse. For example, the author touches on how our own less intense form of narcissism reacts with more toxic narcissism. Narcissists not only screw with you in the *real world* they screw with your head (which often is longer lasting and more devastating.)

The author, yes, should have either 1) included all the helpful understanding of narcissism which she has in her book **along with** a more exhaustive-and helpful-writing on how to deal with the "mind-game" part of narcissistic abuse or 2) cut back on the former and keep the latter. It's plain to me that the author knows what she is talking about: just help more with the "mind-game" part of coping with narcissism, please.

Still, this is a good effort and, sometimes, authors and books need to be given a little grace just for attempting to address such a worthwhile subject--thus the "five."

I'd just like to see her...oh, you know what I'd like to see the author do if she ever decides to rewrite the book.

Narcissistic behaviors displayed by those in power, friends and lovers
Narcissistic behaviors displayed by those in power, friends and lovers affect everyone and are prevalent throughout society, which is why Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People is so important and explains a destructive mental pattern which takes hold and affects many. Methods to help victims of this behavior are provided and come from a scholar/professor in Educational Leadership and Counseling, covering everything from indifference to others and emotional intimacy challenges to projection, protection and conquering loneliness. An outstanding guide surveys both victims and survivors as well as the narcissistic personality, this book is a pick for not only college-level holdings strong in psychology and sociology, but for general-interest library collections.