Product Description

This is a book about men who love women. But it is not a collection of valentines. It is a study of the secret, erotic fantasies that men have always kept hidden, a taboo-shattering investigation which explains to women as well as to men the deepest, most conflicting feelings that men have about women, men and their own sexuality. "Men in Love" goes beyond the clich- of woman seen as either Madonna or whore to reveal the conflict of love and rage at the centre of men's emotions. Based on thousands of candid responses from men ranging from their teens to their sixties, "Men in Love" - startling and shocking - will change men's deepest feelings about their sexuality and make the women who care about them understand them as never before.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #71030 in Books
• Published on: 1998-08
• Released on: 1998-08-10
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 544 pages

From the Publisher
An extraordinary, explicitly masculine journey, Men In Love develops a startlingly honest portrayal of what it means to be a man in contemporary America. Here are the unexpurgated dreams, fantasies and fetishes that excite and obsess men today. In creating this historic study, Nancy Friday listened -- without disapproval, apology or censorship -- to the candid responses of thousands of men aged fourteen through sixty. She gave them a legitimate arena where they could share their "secret gardens" -- the hidden and forbidden but nonetheless real and true. Much more than a litany of erotica, this unique volume doesn't tell us how men should love. It tells us how men do love -- a stunning insight into the desires that dwell within men's psyches... and their hearts.

From the Inside Flap
An extraordinary, explicitly masculine journey, Men In Love develops a startlingly honest portrayal of what it means to be a man in contemporary America. Here are the unexpurgated dreams, fantasies and fetishes that excite and obsess men today. In creating this historic study, Nancy Friday listened -- without disapproval, apology or censorship -- to the candid responses of thousands of men aged fourteen through sixty. She gave them a legitimate arena where they could share their "secret gardens" -- the hidden and forbidden but nonetheless real and true. Much more than a litany of erotica, this unique volume doesn't tell us how men should love. It tells us how men do love -- a stunning insight into the desires that dwell within men's psyches... and their hearts.

Customer Reviews

Somebody please get rid of Freud
Being a man, these fantasies should appeal to me more than those in Friday's other erotic fantasy collections. And they do. But still, as a whole this book scores lower.

The reason lies in Nancy's own comments. Where 'My Secret Garden' and 'Forbidden Flowers' look at the fantasies from the viewpoint of women's sexual emancipation, and look at the women's personal (sexual) histories to find the 'reasons' for the fantasies, 'Men in Love' goes into Freudianism to explain the fantasies. Not only do these explanations bore me to death, I also do not believe in them. Some of the comments are okay (for example her confession that she has problems with the SM-fantasies, and her reasons for nevertheless including them), but many I prefer to skip not only in reading, but also in re-reading and re-rereading the book.

Still, even with this flaw this book gets 4 stars. Because, like the three books with women's fantasies, the book is highly titillating, erotic, even pornographic, but without becoming gross. If one wants literature to get one 'in the mood' sexually, Friday's books are the ones to go on. Unlike pornography, it does not tell stories - it's more descriptions of stories. And your own fantasy can then do the rest. Thus reading this book (or one of the others, 'My Seret Garden', 'Forbidden Flowers' or 'Women on Top') will enrich your sexual fantasy world rather than supplanting it.

Really captures a broad range of men's fantasies, good psychological conent too.
I am a personal growth coach who sometimes works in the area of sexuality. Typically, the clients that come to me with shame about their fantasies are women and often I recommend some of Nancy Friday's books about women's fantasies. This book is different because it focuses on men's fantasies and as such, it is a useful lens for women into male sexuality and the different shapes it can take.

The content of this book is more graphic than Nancy Friday's other books. Some of the fantasies are extremely graphic and some might say rather unusual. In other words, you are going to read about some unusual practices and kinks. On the other hand, it captures the nature of the male's fascination for highly visual, genitally stimulating and sometimes extreme sexual practices. I thought I heard it all before, but there were some shockers in here for me!

If you are looking for erotica written by males, this is a good place to start. What I like most about the book is the psychological interpretations of various men's fantasies. While I don't necessarily agree with Nancy Friday's line of thought some of the time, her interpretations are creative and in most cases plausible. Her narrative is certainly thought provoking and I like the fact she brought sexual fantasy out of the realm of shame and guilt.

A great book that explains the psychology of sexual fantasy is YOUR EROTIC MIND by Jack Morin. You may find this a very useful read if you are trying to understand your own or other people's fantasies in an in-depth way. Also, a good general book on our sexual proclivities based on evolutionary biology is THE EVOLUTION OF DESIRE by David Buss.

so good, so good
I have owned this book for years, and I still read parts of it on occasion. "My Secret Garden" and "Forbidden Flowers" made me rethink the way I look at women's sexual fantasies, and "Men in Love" made me rethink all I knew about men. I love this book because it reveals men's deepest desires without holding anything back. It's definitely not a book for everyone, though, and there are some parts that are disturbing. But then again, all of us have parts of ourselves we are embarrassed of, and the only way to move forward is by acknowledging these parts of ourselves and finding ways to deal.
Another reason this book is fabulous is because of the way the chapters are broken down by subject. So you just pick a topic that seems interesting and go right to that chapter. (Hmmm...I feel like reading about bisexuals tonight) It's instant gratification.
I've been a huge Nancy Friday fan for years, and this is my favorite book by her, although "Forbidden Flowers" is a close second. It helps remind you love is complicated and can be expressed in some unusual ways.
And I also like the parts where Friday discusses the fantasies. I think it's intersting even if I don't always agree with her. She has some very Freudian interpretations of the fantasies, but without all of the sexism characteristic of Freud.
An awesome and important book. Even if you find it disgusting or disagree with Friday, you'll definitely learn something new about men.