Product Description

You have two choices:

Be attacked by a wolverine or go on a date

If you're smart, you chose wolverine.

If not—well, wait, are you sure you don't want the wolverine?

Happily ever after isn't so easy anymore. It's all speed dating, matchmaking terror, and visits to your therapist. Whether it's the mortification, frustration, or just plain exhaustion that's got you ready to give up on love, this book is here to help. After all, there are only two ways out of the dating scene. One involves giving up all your possessions and taking a vow of chastity. The other involves finding a permanent (or semi-permanent, anyway) partner. This book will help you get through the latter.

From the bar scenes and the first sexual encounter to deciding whether to move in together, Dating Makes You Want to Die walks you through every stage of the dating process—and, like a Belarusian arms dealer, provides the heavy artillery you'll need to destroy the potential problems lurking in each one. Each chapter discusses the problems that can arise when dating, offers a remedy, and includes hilarious sidebars and quizzes to further help you prepare for the jungle out there. Some sanity-keeping tips include:

• How to make a first impression that is more "good" than "totally crazy."

• How to not panic the moment you realize you're actually in an honest-to-God relationship.

• Helpful, foolproof breakup lines for total damage control.

Intelligent, snarky, and entertaining, Dating Makes You Want to Die may make you actually want to live through a relationship.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #778132 in Books
• Published on: 2008-09-01
• Released on: 2008-09-02
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 224 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780061456503
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

From Publishers Weekly
The authors of this anti-dating dating book start out by trashing their competition, the Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus/eHarmony dating industry, which, they claim, are mixed drinks made with equal parts hubris and phoniness and flatter and delude rather than providing a dose of tough love. Instead, Holloway and Robinson help the reader navigate the tricky world of dating (that unfortunate yet necessary social endeavor) without facile advice, adopting a wry, sardonic tone in chapter headings such as The Death of Romance (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Paying Half As Much Rent and It's Not Me, It's You—and Your Erectile Dysfunction. Their approach is refreshing, and they address every aspect of romantic etiquette—from online seduction to foolproof breakup lines. Though the hip older sibling shtick begins to grate by the book's end, there is more than enough solid content to guide even the most timorous dater back into the fold. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From School Library Journal
Writing for the Colbert-Stewart generation, US Weekly staff writer Holloway and Metro writer/editor Robinson pave the way for those who are trying to get through the often-disheartening journey of meeting one's soul mate. In a humorous and sardonic style, the authors cover the basics of the process, from meeting wealthy singles at a martini bar to finding an apartment together. A particularly funny chapter on meeting the parents stipulates that there are good holidays on which to meet (e.g., Labor and Memorial Day) and bad ones (e.g., Thanksgiving, Christmas). Occasional quizzes spice up the text. The title alone will stimulate interest among those who are in the market for a partner. Recommended for public libraries.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Daniel Holloway is a staff writer for Us Weekly and chief film critic for Metro newspapers.

Customer Reviews

Reading this book makes you want to die, but now you don't have to!
I have never had a date that went as badly as reading this book. From the 1950's retro interior layout to the asinine and insulting 'quizzes' at the end of each chapter to pad the pagecount, this "book" is a train wreck. You'd be better off getting dating advice from the skeezy stoner or the drunken fratboy you used to turn up your nose at back in college.

The 'advice' is a mix of What Everyone Knows (Girls want you to pay for the first date, don't make your first a movie date because you can't talk, etc) and Good Lord What's Wrong With You (insulting advice that you can only get laid if you get the girl drunk) mixed in a sarcastic, *arrogant* blend of spite and bile. If you come into this depressed because you're alone and dateless on a friday night, you might just kill yourself by work on Monday. The authors should go back to reviewing movies and writing their columns and leave relationship advice alone.

You should hate yourself because you suck, stop sucking.
Is a message I got from the first three pages of this book. THANKS, BOOK! This book is more likely to make you want to die than dating itself, I think.

to help singles navigate through the world of dating
The aim of this book is to help singles navigate through the world of dating. My own experience with being single has shown me that this can be a difficult task indeed, and any good advice would be welcome. However, this particular book, in my opinion, falls short of being helpful. It is chocked full of quizzes that seem to want to be clever, but are just pointless time wasters. The authors are often sarcastic and the advice is, at times, advice I wouldn't want to follow. All in all, I'd say don't bother - there are much more useful books on the market that can actually provide some useful advice.

Reviewed by Kim Shults