Product Description

A guide to understanding and surviving every aspect of infidelity—from the beginning of an affair through the restoration of the marriage.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #43312 in Books
• Published on: 1998-11-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 224 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780800717582
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

About the Author
Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D., and his daughter, Jennifer Harley Chalmers, Ph.D., are licensed psychologists and marriage counselors. Dr. Harley is the author of the best-selling His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-proof Marriage.

Customer Reviews

If your marriage needs help, emergency help, this is it.
My wife and I survived an affair - I was the 'victim' but in a way there can be no victims in an affair. Both of you must be aware of each others needs and become professionals at meeting them better than anyone else can. I know what it is like to feel betrayed - I survived it and my marriage is fortified for having had the experience. I have read the negative reviews here on this book, and I must tell you that I understand their frustration and they are due their pain and anger, but not at this book, it's authors or the power it has to bring your life back to a place where you can live it with your spouse. I never thought I'd find an ordinary world again, but with counseling, understanding, knowledge and the teachings of Dr. Harley (see his other books too!) I did, my wife did, and we hold each other closer than we ever have before. I'm sorry there is a reason for you to look into this book, but have hope - you will feel better when you learn what it teaches you about your spouse's needs and how a marriage must function to maintain those needs. The book also will NOT make the cheating spouse feel like a criminal, and posts many insights from their point of view. This is something those of us cheated ON will perhaps not have much sympathy for but there is A LOT for us to learn from it. The affair is a drug in the cheater's blood - they are prisoners in a cycle that people have fallen victim to since marriage began. They will eventually see the light, but they must do this with their own eyes. By following Harley's advice you can create the best environment for this.

Highly recommended!
I suvived my ordeal by following the advice in Dr. Harley's book as well as on his web site www.marriagebuilder.com. I had an affair several months ago. I was totally confused, devastated, depressed, and thought about suicide. I tried looking for help but most people are not sympathetic toward the wayward spouse. I learned about Dr. Harley and was comforted to know that he understands the wayward spouse's feeling and point of view. I followed his advice regarding total separation from my lover valuable- it was the hardest thing in the world to do- I loved him and the thought of never communicating with him devastated me. But I am so glad in retrospect that I lived throught the withdrawel. I now have a better relationship with my husband, and after three months of not communicating with my lover, I can now see the affiar for the mistake that it was. I am very grateful to Dr. Harley- his iron-clad policy regarding total separation with my lover was absolutely right!
I highly recommend this book especailly if, like myself, you are having an affair and would like advice on what to do next. I understand your pain and struggle. Trust me, buy this book, or at least go to his website and read the articles. You might think that total separtion from your lover is impossible. Trust me, the pain was excruciating, but it was it. I saved my marriage and my life. And you can save yours.

Good, structured approach to surviving an affair
This book offers a structured, detailed, step-wise approach to rebuilding a marriage after an affair. It's discussion of the causes of an affair is not as well-developed as "Affairs" (Brown), but the marriage rebuilding process is very well developed. The authors bat about the term "in love" fairly loosely without really exploring what it means, and their admonition to not dwell on details of the affair but to focus on the present is in conflict with their demand for total openness and honesty. This book will not offer a betrayed spouse much help in understanding that all-important "why?" nor in working through the agonizing pain of betrayal, nor will it really help a betraying spouse closely examine their history and psyche to identify why they had an affair, but it will offer both betrayed and betraying spouses good advice on moving forward.