Show Guest October 26, 2006

---

Product Description

Children and teens who experience the death of a parent are never the same. Only in the last decade have counselors acknowledged that children grieve too, and that unresolved issues can negatively impact children into adulthood. Unaddressed grief can lead to depression, substance abuse, and relationship difficulties. For at least three generations of adults, these issues have been largely ignored. Having worked with thousands of families as Executive Director of the Dougy Center for Grieving Children, Donna Schuurman understands the dangers of unresolved grief better than anyone else. In Never the Same, Schuurman offers expert advice and encouragement to empower readers to reflect on their unique situation, come to terms with the influence of their parent's death, and live more healthful, peaceful lives.

The only book of its kind, Never the Same is an essential companion for those still struggling with the early loss of a parent.

---

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #266044 in Books
• Published on: 2004-07-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 256 pages

Amazon.com Review
Time does not heal all wounds, warns grief counselor Donna Schuurman in her brave and practical book about the challenges adults face in coming to terms with the loss of a parent before age 18. Her premise in Never the Same defies the common wisdom. "Forget the stages of grief. There is no magical moment when you can say, it’s over." Using thoughtful self-assessments and examples, Schuurman persuades readers that grief must be reprocessed at every stage of life. First, she invites readers to look backward, examining their reactions and coping strategies at the time of their parent’s death. Moving into the present, she asks, what meaning do your make of your parent’s death as an adult? Schuurman details the high cost of unresolved grieving, including depression, anxiety, pessimism, underachievement, and troubled relationships. She then outlines suggestions for dealing with the legacy of a parent’s death and choosing healthy traditions for remembering. Adults and parents will find this a wise and compassionate book—-an indispensable guide to the unfinished business of losing a parent at an early age. --Barbara Mackoff

Review
"A remarkably jargon-free book that is filled with practical advice and worksheeets." -- Seattle Post-Intelligencer

"A remarkably jargon-free book that is filled with practical advice and worksheets."
- Seattle Post-Intelligencer
-- Review

Review

"A remarkably jargon-free book that is filled with practical advice and worksheets." (Seattle Post-Intelligencer )

---

Customer Reviews

Just never got to anything useful!
This book sounded like a good one...I loved the title and hoped for more than I found inside. The author keeps teasing, "If you went through the death of your parent, read on for practical help!" Chapter after chapter is filled with this entreaty. It gets annoying to read this plea in every chapter! Finally, the very last chapter in the book consists of 10 suggestions for moving on from the death of a parent. They are very simplistic and not worth reading the entire book to get.

I lost my mother when I was 10, and it is something I will never truly recover from. It has shaped my life from that time forward, and made me who I am. I read a lot of books about people who lose a parent in their childhood, just to see what other people have gone through. My dad was not a very interactive parent either, so I consider myself an orphan in some ways. I think there are better books about healing from the loss of a parent.

Turn Off The TV and Read This Book!
I avoided the television Sunday evening and sat down with a book. I spent my time well! I chose Donna Schuurman's new book, Never The Same - Coming To Terms With The Death Of A Parent (from St. Martin's Press, New York, 2003).

Adults who have experienced the death of a parent during childhood must read Never The Same. Family members, friends, and support professionals who wish to better understand the impact that parental loss has on children throughout their life should also read Donna's book. This book blends scholarly and anecdotal research with the compassionate exploration of some of the roots of thoughts and feelings experienced by adults who mourn the death of a parent during their early years.

Schuurman offers more than a simple list of "here's how you may be affected by the parental death in your past." While reading Donna's book, I felt the two of us were sitting down in a one-on-one relationship, with Donna exploring, coaching, and guiding me along the path of grief.

Never The Same reads like a storybook, a textbook, a workbook, and a guidebook -- all in one. The dust cover of the book contains this statement: Although we can't relive childhood, we can choose to live healthier, fuller lives. From opportunities for introspection to the practical suggestions for dealing with childhood loss, Donna Schuurman's book provides tools for healing and moves the reader toward a healthier, fuller life!

Danny Mize
Executive Director of The Kids' Place support group center for grieving families in central Oklahoma

Practical and professional with humor and insight,
Those who work with grieving children, live with grieving children or who ARE grieving children within grown-up bodies will benefit from this book. Schuurman has evaluated much, if not all of the research, available on the impact of early parental loss. She condenses academic theory so it can be used easily by anyone working in this field. Of particular help is HER interpretation and explanation of how grieving stage theory is typically misused when working with REAL PEOPLE. For those of us who experienced parental loss before age 19, her approach is conversational and warm but direct. The questionaires are particularly thought AND feeling provoking.

Vicki Braun
Executive Director, The Oak Tree Corner Program for Grieving Children DAYTON OH