Product Description

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #342008 in Books
• Published on: 2007-11-28
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 320 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9781573442930
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Customer Reviews

Thoroughly Unhelpful
I purchased this book in the hope that it might encourage me to become more comfortable as a sexual being. It has, instead, only served to INCREASE my shame and avoidance of all things sexual. Ms. Haines' solutions are simplistic, her logic flawed. While I do admire her for striving to include people of all sexualities, including GLBTQ persons, polyamorous relationships, and those who practice S/M lifestyles, as those elements are rarely touched on in sexual healing materials, it is thoroughly insulting to suggest that people who do not wish to incorporate such elements into their sex lives are in some way "less than" those who do. Am I any less deserving of healing than someone with a broader range of sexual interests? Logic dictates not. Ms. Haines unequivocally says yes.

I feel worse about myself and my circumstances having read this book than I did before buying it. If a sexual trauma survivor is already well on the road to healing his/her sexual self, has a decent idea of his/her sexual needs and desires, and believes that they correspond with the aforementioned foci of this body of work, this book may well be beneficial in making those needs and desires realities. For anyone taking their first tentative and terrifying steps into reclaiming themselves, I would avoid this book like the plague.

Better than I expected
I purchased this book about 6 months after I'd checked out the older version from the Library of the survivors' group that I attend. I found the overall tone of the book to be hopeful, positive and encouraging, but also challenging. The author's premise is that it's not only possible to have a healthy sexual self after surviving sexual abuse, it can be the most dynamic part of a survivor's healing practice. The author also cautions that it won't be easy, and that it takes courage and self-love to take on this work. I particularly liked the chapters on Dissociation and Intimacy.

When You're Ready
This is a phenomenal book, as is Staci Haines' other book The Survivor's Guide to Sex. It has an extensive list of resources at the end. The author speaks with a clear, engaging voice. But you have to be ready for it, as the author is very clear and direct about the subject matter. I have been consciously healing the wounds of child sexual abuse for over 17 years - in the beginning with lots of therapy, both group and individual, and in recent years, through journaling, prayer, yoga. Healing comes in layers. Currently I am celibate because I am too darn afraid. Staci Haines's book gives me a roadmap for what to expect when I finally am able to put myself out there. She assumes the reader is familiar with dissociation, numbing, leaving the body, PTSD reactions, etc., etc. She just picks up from there, and talks about having sex that feels good and safe, even though you have these issues.