Product Description

Having a baby brings exciting, dramatic, and unexpected changes into the lives of new parents. But the stresses and necessary adjustments that accompany the birth of a child often strain many marriages - sometimes to the breaking point. Boasting nine years of research and insight from hundreds of couples and experts, After the Baby is the first book to focus solely on helping new and expectant parents who are struggling with their changing relationship. Conversational and practical, After the Baby teaches couples about the natural progression of their marriage as it expands to include children. It draws on the expertise of doctors, psychologists, family therapists, educators, clergy members and parents themselves to explain how couples can establish realistic expectations for marriage after childbirth.

Couples need to know, "Is this natural? Is this predictable? Should we be fighting about this? What is it about becoming parents together that somehow contributes to marital breakdown? Can it be stopped?" What they really want to know: "Are we normal?"

This marriage-saving guide imparts invaluable advice on common conflicts. Most important, this book helps couples talk. It provides a framework for discussing sensitive issues that, after the birth of a child, often affect couples for the first time in their marriage.

After the Baby also reveals proven methods for dealing with such vital issues as marital change and reorganization; hidden hazards of physical and emotional recovery; the impact of baby care and housework; and restoring sex, intimacy and communication as parents.

An essential guide for strengthening marriage while becoming parents, After the Baby advises couples that changes and conflicts are both natural and predictable, and offers help and hope for building better families.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #1077796 in Books
• Published on: 2000-04-25
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 256 pages

From Publishers Weekly
While having a baby is often presumed to be one of the most profoundly joyful and intimate events in a marriage, this refreshing book examines the emotional upheaval that usually comes with it. Having interviewed more than 200 couples repeatedly over a 10-year period, Nordin reminds us that the birth of a child--even if it's a second or third child--plunges a couple into new rhythms, roles and responsibilities. The convergence of physical and emotional changes, sleep deprivation, constant child care, increased housework and worry over new financial responsibilities often results in "frequent disagreements, an emotional distance, and a stalemate to cooperation" between new parents. With less time and energy for each other and themselves, Nordin contends, new parents frequently lose both the sexual and emotional intimacy they previously enjoyed, at a time when they most need to pull together. These challenges, and unrealistic assumptions, end many marriages in the early years of parenthood. Offering hope that parenthood can provide "opportunities for growth and a deepening of the marital commitment," Nordin examines many common issues in detail with concrete examples for resolving them. Her weakest chapter relies on dubious scare tactics to steer couples away from divorce, lest their children's lives be ruined forever. Her strongest argument, reserved for a brief last chapter, is that the long-term rewards and benefits of weathering storms in the parenting process ultimately outweigh the growing pains and sacrifices made along the way. (May)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
Child advocate Nordin interviewed more than 200 sets of parents and 100 professionals for this study, which pinpoints the physical and emotional changes that occur in couples after having a baby. Stresses like money shortages and physical exhaustion are also covered. Using examples from her interviews, Nordin examines changes in intimacy, communication, and sex. The final third of the book offers helpful suggestions for dealing with these changes. Although she discusses divorce as an overly frequent outcome, Nordin strongly urges couples to deal with challenges as they arise and find the strength to honor their commitment to their marriage and children. Dwenda K. Gjerdingen (family practice, Univ. of Minnesota Medical Sch., St. Paul) wrote a foreword and provides medical advice. This will certainly interest new parents and those about to become parents. Recommended for public libraries.
-Kay L. Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review
After the Baby offers practical and readable advice, a valuable guide which should be essential reading for new parents. -- Sylvia Ann Hewlett, President, National Parenting Association

Nordin may well have a classic on her hands... laying out challenges and changes that parenthood brings. -- Foreword Magazine, Judy Hopkins, May 2000.

Written with passion and clarity... brings to light a dimension of family life seldom discussed-the challenges and struggles... -- Tom Prichard, President, Minnesota Family Council

Customer Reviews

A Must Read for New and Parents To Be
This is an awesome book and should be read by anyone that either has young children or is considering starting a family. It covers everything from how your feelings toward each other may change to getting sex back into your marriage. My wife and I have given this book to many of our pregnant friends and plan to keep copies on hand for just such occasions. We loved the book and know anyone that reads it will enjoy it and understand better what impact your child will have on your life.

A Must Read for New Parents or Parents to Be
Most couples are overjoyed at the prospect of being new parents. They spend a great deal of time preparing for the birth process and care of the new born. What is often unanticipated, is the profound change in the couple's marriage. Sadly some of these changes can result in a tremendous amount of tension as a minimum and all too frequently divorce.

Rhoda Nordin has spent the last 10 years researching the impact on a marriage after the birth of child. As a happily married mother of two sons, she also provides her own keen insights on the challenges facing new parents.

After the Baby, is well written and well organized. The book draws upon leading academic research as well as numerous interviews with men and women. Using these resouces, Rhoda Nornin helps explain why their is tension in the marriage and the best ways to address this tension before it can have a more negative impact on the couples long-term relationship. Portions of the book are very funny and portions, such as the chapter of why children fear divorce, are extremely poignant.

I haved given the book to several friends with young children and not only did they find the book helpful but insisted that their husbands read it. I firmly believe that Rhoda Nordin's book will help many new parents not only be great parents but also be happily married couples.

A great new parent handbook!
I found this book to be extremely accurate and worth the time to read it! As a mother of four, I applaud the author for showing there is both ups and downs to adding a new baby to the household. It is such a blessing when that new child finally arrives and the world sees you as a glowing family, but reality is not always so rosy 24 hours a day. This book is uplifting in that you are not alone and there are some practical steps to follow to strenghten your marriage. It is wonderful to finally see a book that is not just geared to what to do for the baby, but what to do for you as parents. My children have been a huge part of my life, but I could not have raised them so happily without the aid of my husband and a strong marriage. This book tells it like it is. I wish many many parents would read it and take it to heart! Thank you Rhonda Nordin!