Product Description

A Christian guide to the medical, ethical, emotional, marital, spiritual, and biblical challenges of infertility. Includes chapter questions and a workbook section with exercises ideal for individual or small-group use.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #107899 in Books
• Published on: 2004-06-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 320 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780310249610
• Condition: USED - VERY GOOD
• Notes:
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From the Back Cover
Endorsed by the Christian Medical Association.

A Comprehensive Christian Guide to the Challenges of Infertility • Medical • Ethical • Emotional • Marital • Spiritual • Biblical

Infertility changes everything, shattering dreams and breaking hearts. But hope is available—today more than ever.

The Infertility Companion draws on the Bible and on current medical knowledge, including the latest research, to shed light on such questions as:

• Can people of faith ethically use high-tech infertility treatments? • How do we make moral, biblical decisions about medical treatment, third-party reproduction, stem cell research, and embryo adoption? • Is God punishing me? • Does God even care? • Will adoption increase our chances of getting pregnant? • How can we reduce the stress of infertility on our marriage relationship? • How can we keep sex from becoming a chore?

These theologically trained authors have taught at a variety of conferences on infertility, pregnancy loss, and adoption, and they have helped thousands of couples to face the future through their message of encouragement.

The Infertility Companion includes discussion questions and a workbook suitable for individuals, couples, or small groups. Full of practical tips and true stories, this book will guide couples past the ethical pitfalls of assisted reproductive technologies as they travel the difficult road ahead.

An all-encompassing guide for the Christian infertility patient. Where other books fall short, this "companion" aids the patient not only with the physical and emotional aspects of this journey, but also helps answer the tough spiritual and ethical questions that arise in a couple’s desire to conceive.—Julie Watson, Conceiving Concepts

About the Author
Sandra Glahn, Th.M., is adjunct professor at Dallas Theological Seminary. She serves on both the board of the Dallas/Fort Worth Christian Medical and Dental Associations and the advisory board of Hannah's Prayer. She is coauthor of The Infertility Companion.;William R. Cutrer, M.D., is an OB/GYN and an ordained minister. He is a professor at the Gheens Center for Family Ministry at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is the author of Under the Fig Leaves, and coauthor of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The Infertility Companion Copyright © 2004 by Sandra L. Glahn and William R. Cutrer Requests for information should be addressed to: Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Glahn, Sandra, 1958– The infertility companion : hope and help for couples facing infertility / Sandra L. Gahn and William R. Cutrer. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-310-24961-9 (softcover) 1. Infertility—Religious aspects—Christianity. 2. Infertility—Psychological aspects. I. Cutrer, William, 1951–. II. Title. RC889.G536 2004 248.8'6196692—dc22 2004004099 All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James version of the Bible. Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE ©, Copyright © The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of Zondervan, nor do we vouch for their content for the life of this book. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher. Interior design by Michelle Espinoza Printed in the United States of America 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 /.DC/ 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 WHEREWE’VE BEEN Your Companions in “the Ditch” Sandi’s Journey: Knots and Tangles I am Sandra, daughter of Ann, daughter of Velma, daughter of Ella, all the way back to Eve. But the genes carried down through my ancestors will stop with me. When I was a little girl, I never dreamed that I might be unable to have children. In my childhood home in Oregon’s Willamette Valley, by mid-April the plum trees had sprouted purple blossoms and the whole world seemed to bloom with new life. Foals, calves, and lambs appeared in the fields. By Mother’s Day, everything had either given birth or was celebrating hope, and I assumed that I would someday join in that process. I was the fourth of five children. When I reached adolescence and started babysitting—which I loved—I became increasingly aware that many people have more children than they anticipate. I figured that, if anything, I’d fall into that group. Fast-forward to age twenty-seven. My adoration of spring turned to dread as I felt out of sync with the rest of the world. While everything around me celebrated new life, I experienced spring more as an injury— almost as an indictment. With tear-stained cheeks, I watched birds build nests and lay eggs in our trees and thought of how children described me as “nobody’s mommy.” Mother’s Day—that dreaded “M-Day”— came as the crowning insult. My husband, Gary, and I had been married seven years, and he was starting his last year of seminary training (master’s degree) in Dallas, Texas. In addition to our jobs—he at a law firm, I as a writer at an insurance company—and his studies, we served as part-time staff at our church, ministering to college students. After working full-time to put my husband through graduate school, I dreamed of quitting my job and staying home to take care of our children. Friends and family were asking when we’d start having babies, and it was finally time to get an “all clear” from my physician. Dr. Bill Cutrer, my medical doctor, was also a seminary student, and he had a reputation for being a godly man with technical expertise. So I made the new-patient appointment, and after our consultation, he told me everything looked great. The next six months were wonderful. There’s something magical about making love with the expectation that you’ll produce something as marvelous as a child. The plans and dreams arrived in full force. I mentally picked out nursery colors. For graduation we got a car—a new station wagon big enough for the family we were going to have. I told a few close friends we were trying. We saved up all we could for the day when I could quit work. Nine months passed with no success. I had expected to get pregnant the first month, but I told myself we’d been too busy. Then months turned into a year. But I wasn’t too worried. Another six months passed, though less quickly, and my sister confided to me that she was going through fertility testing. Apang of concern started gnawing inside me. Mary recommended a book about infertility, and I read it. Afterward I wrote in my journal, “The infertility fear is getting greater. There’s a lot of denial on my part. I’m finally having to come to grips with the fact that there’s a problem.” I cried for the first time when someone asked when we were going to start a family. Three days later I wrote, “I’m facing that we may not have kids. It’s tough. But his mercies are there, too.” A church in British Columbia interviewed Gary by phone for a pastoral position. Aweek later I wrote in my journal, “My strong preference would be to stay in my current job until I know I can have kids. The Lord knows.” The job didn’t pan out, and we both kept working. After eighteen months had passed, I returned to see Dr. Cutrer for what was supposed to be a belated annual checkup. All went fine until near the end, when he asked me a few questions. “I think I just need to relax,” I told him. “We’ve been trying to get pregnant, but we’ve probably been too busy to hit it right.” Looking up with gentle eyes, he rolled closer. “How long have you been trying?” “About eighteen months.” I had believed the myth so many people had told me: “Just relax and you’ll get pregnant.” He spoke in a soothing tone. “No. Perhaps it’s time to stop ‘just relaxing.’ There are a few simple things we can try. The pace is up to you.” We could take it fast or slow, he told me, starting with the easiest, simplest test: a semenalysis on my husband. Not a chance. We’re not infertile! I thanked him politely and left for another eighteen months. Threads of Grief The time passed with increasing emotional pain. It got harder to deny the reality. So I finally returned to the doctor. By that time, I had heard a lot more about “Dr. Bill,” as many of his patients called him: “He stayed up with us all night rather than rush a C-section.” “He came in on the weekend to do our insemination.” “He prayed with us during our rough delivery.” Dr. Bill had a reputation for being a kind and compassionate man of God. I wish I could say we hit it off from the start, but at the time, I resented what I perceived as “doctor worship” on the part of many of his patients, so I determined to be distant. Gary and I decided to begin the testing process. Dr. Bill began by testing Gary, who appeared to have no problem. Then Dr. Bill ran a lot of blood tests and did some studies to make sure I was ovulating. After

Customer Reviews

Absolutely the best Infertility Primer and Dictionary for Christians
The Infertility Companion: Hope and Help for Couples Facing Infertility (Christian Medical Association) is a book that is part almanac, part dictionary, part personal testimony and part Bible teaching and study. It's written by a Christian Infertility Doctor and a Christian Infertility Patient.

I'll start with my critiques because they're pretty minor. My biggest complaint about the book is that for some reason I've not quite put my finger on, DH and I both found it visually hard to read. I can't decide if the text is smaller, the leading is smaller, the characters are closer together, the lines are longer or if it's because the pages are gray and not white, but I found it hard to read more than 20 pages in one sitting before my eyes were too tired. I've never experienced that with a book before and I'm quite confident it wasn't the content that made it hard to read so I'm quite befuddled. At times I was frustrated because I wanted to continue reading but couldn't comfortably do so.

My other critique is that the book is littered with one paragraph personal anecdotes from various people that I found distracting on almost every occasion. I struggle to see their purpose and at times, was frustrated by the incongruence that occurred when the anecdotes interrupted the primary authors' train of thought, with little explanation as to why they were offered in the first place. The primary text is stronger when one skips the interruptions (though for thoroughness' sake, I did read them all).

However, those two, minor things encompass the totality of my complaints about this book.

What I love about this book is how straightforward it is. This is not to be confused with authors who are insensitive. This book just lacks the emotional aspect of a lot of the other books, which my husband especially appreciated. He felt much more comfortable reading this book than reading some of the others I speak highly of, including ones I've recommended here. The book reads largely like a textbook on infertility, if such a thing could exist given the diverse nature of individual experiences. However, it is very conversational and approachable in tone-not at all dry and difficult to read like the mention of a "text book" would suggest.

The authors write with one voice and do an excellent job at it, which I think lends itself to the "neutrality" of this book. It's not a book by women for women, or men for men. It's a book for a general audience, which I think is rare in this particular genre of texts.

The book spends some time on the interpersonal aspects of infertility, including the patients' relationships with themselves, with each other, with God, with their friends and family, with Christendom and with the general public. It also address such things as parenting after infertility, secondary infertility, childlessness by choice, and responding to well meaning advice.

Perhaps one of the most instrumental things I've read in any book on the subject was in the authors' chapter on myths of infertility. In response to the myth "If you adopt, the pain will go away," the authors cited another author who identified six key losses that are rooted in infertility:


1. Loss of control
2. Loss of individual genetic continuity
3. Loss of a jointly conceived child
4. Loss of the pregnancy and birth experiences
5. Loss of emotional gratification surrounding pregnancy and birth
6. Loss of an opportunity to nurture and parent a new generation

pg 29


How freeing it was for me to read that it is perfectly normal to mourn the loss of pregnancy--a need that will never be met through born-child adoption! I've already shared this with a few other people because it was so instrumental to me to identify the various types and sources of grief and loss. I wish I could put it on a flyer and distribute it to the world and maybe then people would cease looking for trite things to say or ways to help their infertile friends "get over" this loss!

The rest of the book, however, is what I found most useful. It's an explanation and bioethical exploration of the tests and procedures common in the treatment of infertility. It covers everything ranging from sample collection to examinations to medications to surgical procedures. The authors are quick to confess their own limits and biases, but even with the procedures with which they don't agree, they highlight the benefits along with the risks. I appreciated this neutrality. They are also careful and responsible to state that their opinions on anything that falls outside the bounds of clear scriptural teaching and/or does not jeopardize innocent life is their own opinion and not gospel truth. On the other hand, where something does violate clear scripture or the sanctity of life, they are firm in stating its inappropriateness for the committed Christian (examples would be fornicating to produce fluid samples or children, selective reduction abortion, etc). In some cases (IVF for example), they are very helpful in helping the reader understand the limits they should place in order to keep the procedure one that honors God and human life. Where Catholics and Protestants might differ, they offer information and resources for both world views.

I appreciated how respectful the authors are of opinions that differ from theirs when it comes to matters of interpretation. There is no condemnation-only simple, undecorated statement of their opinion and where applicable, medical and scientific facts. They do not pressure the reader to come to the same conclusions and as I mentioned, are generous in even offering the benefits of procedures that they would not choose for themselves.

They offer a very useful grid for evaluating the ethics of reproductive technology. They have borrowed the framework from a secular textbook and offer it as being both useful and consistent with a biblical worldview.

The four principles are:

Beneficence-to do good. Thus, we ask, "Does it do good?"

Nonmaleficece-to do no harm. We ask, "Does it avoid doing harm?"

Autonomy-the patient has the right to make decisions about care rendered to him or her. We ask, "Does it respect self-determination, the patient's right to decide for him- or herself?"

Justice-fair, equitable, and appropriate distribution of social benefits and burdens. Our own definition of justice goes beyond this definition to ask whether something seeks what is right or due the patient in a given instance. So we ask, "Does it give what is right, due and equitable?"

pg 171


So long as the reader retains honesty careful grounding in scripture when answering the questions posed in this construct, I found this to be a very useful and practical framework.

The book also has quite a few extra curricular resources. The end of each chapter has discussion questions for the reader. I suppose with some moderation, they could be good prompts for a group discussion as well. The appendices of the book include a scripture-based workbook of questions and exercises for each chapter, an infertility medical workup worksheet, the Christian Medical Association Statement on Reproductive Technology, an IF glossary with common vernacular explanations, a list of resources and complete citations for all of the studies, interviews and writings cited in the book.

The book is very well cited. Each time the authors mentioned a clinical study, a public statement by a group or committee, a medical fact, and even in some cases a hermeneutic explanation, there was a corresponding citation. This set me at ease that the things that I was reading were true, or at least easily verifiable. It also gave me a place to go if anything piqued my interest to the point of wanting to seek out further information. I appreciated this responsible treatment of a lot of things that are offered as "fact" in a world full of questions and controversy.

I will confess that I did not complete the workbook or discussion questions yet, and am not sure if I plan to. However, I did read through them and found them relevant and thought provoking.

The book is like an encyclopedia insofar as there may be portions (even large ones) that are not relevant to you if you are not considering a certain procedure or class of procedures. I did read the entire book so as to have a firm understanding of it, but I admit to times when I had trouble staying interested in subjects that are not a part of our journey. I will say that the book can easily be read in sections or chapters. If you skip a section that is not relevant to your journey, I do not think it will make the rest of the book unreadable and I think you would still benefit. Each chapter can stand on its own and be contextually accurate and understandable. However, the book also feels unified enough to be read through as a traditional chapter book.

There is a ton of clinical information in this book, which distinguishes it from other books in this genre. For that reason, it's a lot more difficult to retain all of the information in the book than it is with other books that are more narrow in subject. For that reason I think this book is most useful when consulted many times, especially the subjects of particular relevance to the reader. I know I shall have to read through the details of some of the Reproductive Technologies several times before I feel I have a firm grasp on them but again, that selective reading is very possible in a book structured this way.

This book is an excellent resource for infertility patients. I'm not sure it's useful for pastors, friends and family or doctors, but I suspect it was never intended to be. This is not your typical infertility Bible or personal enrichment study, so I would not add it to my library in lieu of books that are more personally challenging, but it is an excellent academic reference resource, which is especially useful in a world where the sheer volume of facts and anecdotes can be overwhelming.

A great resource!
The Infertility Companion, written by Sandra Glahn and William Cutrer, is
indeed a comforting read to both the hurting and those who want to "be there"
for the hurting. At one time or another, most of us are in one of those
positions, that is, burdened with heartache or wanting to help loved ones
through their burdens. The insight into the personal lives of those who share
their stories through this writing was a great help to me. Equally, I was encouraged by the reminder
that there really are doctors who see you as a person with feelings and not
just another medical patient, and that we have a choice to find the
ones who do to provide for our medical treatments. Though I've
never lived through the same struggles expressed in this book there are those
that are very dear to me that have and do struggle daily with the same issues.
Having the knowledge, information, and vocabulary that they indentify with has
helped me to be a more confident, compassionate, and supportive friend. The
Christian perspective was a great help to me, as well, as I read of Biblical
accounts of infertile couples referenced in this writing. The medical
information has been helpful as I have thought through some of the procedures
and methods of medical advancement and has helped me to see more clearly the
weight of decision-making that patients of infertility carry. This book would
be a great gift of compassion to someone who has expressed their sorrows of

childlessness and/or pregnancy losses with you. Even greater, pick up a copy
for yourself, too, and read along with them to show how much you really do care.

Practical information with heart
Right around this time of year, sermons about Mother's Day and the beauty of parenthood bring grief to those experiencing the hellish ride of infertility. Though I have not personally experienced this, I have walked with several friends that have. This book was invaluable in helping me understand the medical, spiritual and emotional issues facing infertile couples. Glahn's personal story is woven throughout, giving the reader glimpses into the pain of infertility. Cutrer offers the reader practical and sound medical advice, gleaned from years and years of treating infertile couples. Both grapple with theological questions like "Is infertility a curse from God?" and "Why did God create sex?" Perhaps the most helpful chapter detailed the well-intentioned (but painful) things people say: Just relax. You can have my children for a weekend. If you adopt, you'll conceive. Just trust God. The latter half of the book deals with the ethics of medical intervention in an honest, non-alarmist way. If you are looking for an infertility manual with heart, pick up this book. If you are longing to love a friend or family member through infertility's minefield, read it for understanding.