(B- for Lovers, C for Countess) "Vampire Lovers" is famed for its lesbianism/nudity, but it's still a typical Hammer pic at heart. Pretty solid. "Countess Dracula" is weak late Hammer, with a novel setting and premise, but somewhat dull, listless execution and characters. Also, sorry, Pitt can't act, but she's as attractive as can be.

(B-) Verhoeven's camp thrillers can go both ways(hahaha), being delightful (Robocop) or unwatchable (Starship Troopers). BI (hahaha) splits the difference with a delightfully outlandish plot and fun acting, but it's also poorly paced and the sex grows wearisome. Finally, I now believe anyone who isn't straight is a killer. Sorry GLAAD.

(D+) Purportedly erotic horror film is actually boring and pretentious, delivering neither element. Has nice location shooting, but is tragically uninvolving with irritating performances, particularly from the grandmotherly Bathory. Vampire afficianados may like it, though.

(B-) Very old-fashioned thriller about a young actress held hostage by a wheelchair-bound old man and his creepy butler. Pretty cheesy and implausible, but it's a surprising amount of fun too.

(B+) Very involving caveman pic. Great scenery, makeup and it has plenty of cool action too. On the downside, the Iron Maiden song that this inspired is no good.

(B-) A bafflingly convoluted lost civilization pic with giant crabs, killer seaweed and the Spanish Inquisition. It's a little weird, but quite watchable.

(B-) Much maligned, but I find it rather endearing. Sure, it has weak characters and a dubious script, but the car itself is rad, and a good monster is about all you need for a decent monster movie. It's also suprisingly mean-spirited, at times, which I like.

(A) Spectacular actioner from Spielberg which holds up wonderfully. It reminds us that, once upon a time, big-budget popcorn flicks could actually be great. It'll probably just highlight how bad the new one likely is.

(B-) Completely unrelated to the original apart from the Pangs. It's meandering and longwinded even as such things go, but the story is relatively interesting. Too bad the heroine isn't more naturally likable.

(B+) A typically dark, brooding noir from Preminger. Good stuff.

(C+) Passable blaxploitation sequel can't match the fun original. Marshall still makes one of the few effective tragic vampires, but the rest of the film is strictly by-the-numbers cheapo horror.

(B-) Reasonably entertaining werewolf flick, though I don't know where it gets its semi-classic status. The transformations scenes are cool and it delivers in the end, but the middle section is flat and I just don't see the supposed wit and intelligence of the screenplay.

(C) The budget is all up there on screen, but this is an overacted, overdirected romantic melodrama where a horror movie should be. It's still watchable as pure spectacle, but it's a huge missed opportunity, since they had the money and the cast to make a good, faithful version.

(B) As many others have said, don't let the title fool you, this is a creepy, serious-minded sci-fi horror flick. Definitley an above-average effort for the era.

(B- for Unknown) A Browning/Chaney silent film. It's nice and short, Chaney's good, and it has such a bizarre plot that it proves fairly memorable.

(B- for the original) Holds up better than most of the supposedly classic talkie horror movies from the previous decade. It's not brilliant, but it's well-paced and interesting, and I love the sets. The makeup looks intensely silly, though.

(C-) A good summation of what went wrong with a lot of horror movies in the late 80s. It looks decent, but it's jokey and pandering w/o being funny, and only works sporadically on a dramatic or horrific level. Also, the teen protagonists are unlikable and irritating, though Sarandon is pretty good as the vampire.

(C+) Big-budget horror about a woman who is repeatedly raped by some invisible force. It's rather creepy for a while, but you can only see Hershey molested by nothing over the same clanging score so many times before it gets silly. Worse,the second half has too much psychobabble and pseudo-science. Not bad, but it doesn't exactly work either.

(C+) Has some great visuals (particularly the opening) and is generally interesting, though it's ultimately deeply silly and a bit overlong. Also, how the hell did everyone get the idea that Natassja Kinski looked so gorgeous in this? Awful hair, giant freak lips. Whatever, man.