Product Description

This sexy, epic, hilarious, poignant and romantic sequel to Pride and Prejudice goes far beyond being a Jane Austen sequel. It's Tom Jones meets Jane Austen meets Georgiana, the Duchess of Devonshire, with essence of Scarlett O'Hara and the Wife of Bath thrown in.

Every woman wants to be Elizabeth Bennet Darcy-beautiful, gracious, universally admired, strong, daring and outspoken-a thoroughly modern woman in crinolines. And every woman will fall madly in love with Mr. Darcy-tall, dark and handsome, a nobleman and a heartthrob whose virility is matched only by his utter devotion to his wife.

Their passion is consuming and idyllic-essentially, they can't keep their hands off each other-through a sweeping tale of adventure and misadventure, human folly and numerous mysteries of parentage.

The book was self-published in 1999, with more than 10,000 copies sold. Here is what some readers are saying about Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife: "Pure pleasure...this book is so much fun I recommend it heartily." "Wow, Darcy! I could not put it down." "Tremendous-I didn't want it to end!"

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #10664 in Books
• Published on: 2004-05-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 476 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9781402202735
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

From Booklist
This rollicking sequel to Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice was originally self-published in 1999 as The Bar Sinister. In Berdoll's wild, bawdy, and utterly enjoyable novel, the Darcys begin their married life as one of the happiest, most in-love couples imaginable. Berdoll picks up the story after their wedding, but flashes back to the days after the courtship, when Elizabeth and Darcy's passion for each other grew stronger. After a spicy wedding night, the couple finds their compatibility extends far beyond their matched wits. As Elizabeth settles into her role as mistress of a large household, her sister Jane grapples with her own, less passionate marriage to Charles Bingley. Thrown in as well are an illegitimate young man who just might be Darcy's son, a vengeful serving man who plagues the Darcys and develops an unhealthy fixation on Elizabeth, and suspicions of infidelity. Austenites who enjoy the many continuations of her novels will find much to love about this wild ride of a sequel, especially Berdoll's depiction of the enduring, strong love between Elizabeth and Darcy. Kristine Huntley
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

About the Author
Linda Berdoll was inspired to try her hand at an Austen sequel after seeing a Pride and Prejudice miniseries. Four years later, her effort, originally published as The Bar Sinister, appeared, to the acclaim of readers and the horror of Jane Austen purists. This is Berdoll's first novel, but she is at work on the sequel to the sequel. She lives near Austin, Texas.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Preface

The renowned (if occasionally peevish) lady of letters, Charlotte Brontë, once carped of fellow authoress Jane Austen's work, "...she ruffles her reader by nothing vehement, disturbs him by nothing profound: the Passions are perfectly unknown to her...what throbs fast and full, though hidden, what the blood rushes through, what is the unseen seat of Life and the sentient target of death-this Miss Austen ignores."

It is forever lost what Jane Austen might have made of Jane Eyre, hence we shan't dally with such a conjecture. And however we are moved to defend Miss Austen's unparalleled literary gift, we cannot totally disregard Miss Brontë's observation, for it was quite on the money. Jane Austen wrote of what she knew.Miss Austen never married, it appears her own life passed with only the barest hint of romance. Hence, one must presume she went to her great reward virgo intactus.

As befitting a maiden's sensibilities, her novels all end with the wedding ceremony. What throbs fast and full, what the blood rushes through, is denied her unforgettable characters and, therefore, us. Dash it all!

We endeavour to right this wrong by compleating at least one of her stories, beginning whence hers leaves off. Our lovers have wed. But the throbbing that we first encounter is not the cry of a passionate heart. Another part of her anatomy is grieving Elizabeth Bennet Darcy.

Part One

As plush a coach as it was, recent rains tried even its heavy springs.Hence, the road to Derbyshire was betimes a bit jarring. Mr. Darcy, with all gentlemanly solicitousness, offered the new Mrs. Darcy a pillow upon which to sit to cushion the ride.

It was a plump tasselled affair, not at all discreet. His making an issue of her sore nether-end was a mortification in and of itself. But, as Elizabeth harboured the conviction that she had adopted a peculiar gait as a result of her most recent (by reason of matrimony) pursuits, her much abused dignity forbade her to accept such a blatant admission of conjugal congress. Thus, the cushion was refused.

Dignity notwithstanding, the unrelenting jiggle of the carriage demanded by the puddles bade her eye that same pillow wistfully as its soft comfort lay wasted upon the empty seat opposite them. As she clung to the handgrip, she knew it was indefensibly foolish not to admit to her husband that he was justified in suspecting that she needed it. But at that moment, not making a concession to him was a matter of principle.

Suffering both from the road and from knowing herself unreasonably miffed, she submitted to the silent chastisement that she must learn to accept the perversely quixotic turns of her new husband.

As each and every muddy mile they travelled diminished the distance betwixt Elizabeth and the awesome duty that awaited her as mistress of such a vast estate as Pemberley, she became ever more uneasy. It was not that she had only then fully comprehended what awaited her, for she had. At least as comprehensibly as it was possible.

Hitherto, there had been the excitement of the wedding, and moreover, the anticipation of connubial pleasures with Mr. Darcy that buffered her from the daunting devoir that lay ahead. In soothing her newly appreciated trepidation, her husband was of no help whatsoever. Indeed, they had no more than stepped from their matrimonial bedchamber before he had reclaimed his recently relinquished mask of reticence. And with it, that maddening hauteur. One peculiar only to him.

It was only subsequent to their engagement that he had ceased addressing her as "Miss Bennet" in lieu of her Christian name. Delightful as that transfiguration was, her previous understanding in regards to her name was usurped in the throes of passion. For in the considerable heat generated the previous evening, he had repeatedly
murmured "Lizzy" in her ear.

To her dismay, their re-emergence into company bade the Master of Pemberleyserve compunction by abandoning that much-appreciated endearment. This disappointment would have been less egregious had he not insisted upon addressing her as "Mrs. Darcy" not only to the help, but privately as well. Her alteration from Lizzy to Mrs. Darcy had been vexatiously abrupt. Therefore, Mrs. Darcy was profoundly aggrieved and sat in petulant silence much of their trip.

This lack of conversation he did nothing to mitigate.

Indeed, it was a repetition of the ride from their wedding to their London honeymoon nest the day before. She had convinced herself hitherto that his quiet could be attributed to nerves (owing to the compleat lack of reserve that night). Presently, she had not a clue.

Upon thinking of that lack of reserve and the resultant kindness done upon her person, it bade her not to think so meanly upon her husband, silent or no. If he had truly been disquieted in apprehension of their wedding-night, might not his present reticence come from unease? It occurred to her that the more firmly he seemed in his own charge, the greater was his perceived threat to it. Hence, his wall of defence. At one time, she might have been amused to think herself such a disconcertion to the arrogant Mr. Darcy. But no more.

Impetuously, she took his hand. In no manner did she want him to believe her a peril to his well-being.

The carriage, evidently unhindered by the weightiness of her ruminations, endeavoured on. Hence, she wrested her attention from them and peered out the window as they ambled down the fashionable avenues of Mayfair. There, even so fine a carriage as theirs excited few heads to turn and watch as they passed.

But once upon the road north, a legion of staring eyes could be detected through the obfuscatory yellow fog that clung persistently to the streets.Unaccustomed as she was to being the occupant of such an elegant coach, Elizabeth was a little off-put to be the object of such general scrutiny. Mr. Darcy, however, as was his habit, practised an impervious gaze just at the horizon, reflecting neither distaste nor notice of the gawking.

They broke their journey for a spare midday meal at a plain but tidy inn. This rest occasioned the innkeeper and his wife into whimpering subservience, thus enlightening Elizabeth to the extreme deference she must weather as Mr. Darcy's wife.

The brevity of their stop was in all probability ultimately a good thing, blessedly truncating as it did the publican couple's display. The next fit of veneration from a person of lesser birth than the Darcys (i.e., just about everyone) would not be so unexpected. Elizabeth promised herself that she would practise Darcy's patrician inscrutability and elude the urge to tell those servile persons they had undoubtedly mistaken her for someone else.

Whilst still partaking of their meal, Darcy apologised unnecessarily upon the austere winter dressing of his county.

Customer Reviews

I wish I could erase this from my memory...
It is a truth universally acknowledged that an author who ventures into writing the continuation of a beloved classic should write something that would give said classic justice. I'm always wary of trying sequels of classics written by a different author because the few that I have read have let me down. In most cases, the authors who write these sequels don't understand the original characters well enough and proceed to write a version of the aforementioned characters that are incongruous to the ones you know and love and leave you wishing you hadn't given such a poor attempt at reliving the magic of said novel a whirl. That is definitely the case with Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife by Linda Berdoll. This is a continuation of Pride and Prejudice, after Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett get married. They are in complete newlywed mode and have lots and lots of sex. (And I do mean lots and lots of sex, some of which borders on being pedantic. More on that later.) When they are not in the sack, they are dealing with misunderstandings, namely one centered on Darcy's supposed bastard son. Elizabeth also tries to help her sister Jane and her less than exciting marriage to Mr. Bingley. There are some twists throughout the novel.

Jane Austen's writing style was often criticized as being "soulless" because of the lack of emotional and sexual tension between her main characters. (Well, there have been people who've said that, but in my opinion Darcy and Lizzy and the characters in her other novels had plenty of romantic tension.) I believe it was Charlotte Bronte who was the most critical of the back-then anonymous romance writer we all now know as Jane Austen. It appears that Ms. Berdoll tried to remedy that by adding eroticism in her continuation of the classic. Ordinarily, I love erotic retellings of classic fairytales and novels, but I was unimpressed with the erotica aspects this time around. I had actually looked forward to reading an erotic telling of P&P, which means that I'm not an Austen purist by a long shot, but the sex between Darcy and Lizzy is so over the top I found myself rolling my eyes. After the tedious too large, too small explanation, the virgin who had hitherto lived a sheltered life with her parents and four sisters has sex not unlike a courtesan from the first go. You also get cliche descriptions of the hero's enormous appendage. Ugh. I am an avid erotica reader and I do like the men to be well endowed in said novels (and I have, in fact, pictured Darcy as a well-endowed man, especially after watching Colin Firth's lake scene in the A&E/BBC mini-series adaptation), but those descriptions were just silly and not at all erotic. Also, the protagonists are not believable here. This version of Darcy and Lizzy drove me crazy because I found myself thinking, "The real Lizzy would never do that," or "The real Mr. Darcy would never say that." Elizabeth isn't the intelligent, spirited and witty young woman this time around. It seemed to me that all she did was swoon over Darcy's sexual prowess. As for Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, he is not the misjudged gentleman in this one. The author has turned him into the jerk Elizabeth had thought he was in P&P. And what the author did to Mr. Bingley is nauseating. He cheats on Jane and has an illegitimate child? Ick! Anyway, once the reader gets the sexual part out of the way (well, sort of), the storyline is kind of interesting, except that the misunderstanding frustrated me because the characters react in ways that they never would have if Austen had written this (which, of course, she never would have). Also, the author's attempt at adding an Austen- and Regency-like language seemed forced and fake. (If I ever read the word "howbeit" again I will scream.) The author of this erotic continuation of a beloved classic missed the mark big time. I used to enjoy imagining what Mr. Darcy would be like in bed. And that is just it. This novel is nothing but the author's sexual fantasies centering on Darcy and Lizzy, not unlike a piece of fan fiction you would find on the Internet. Ms. Berdoll has proven that some things are better left to the reader's imagination.

Howbeit the unromantic sex scenes and pseudo-Regency prose bade me get my money back....
My experience with this novel can be summed up in one sentence: "You keep using that word; I do not think it means what you think it means." [Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride] Mr Darcy Takes a Wife is full of malapropisms and misapplied SAT words. Time and again I found myself cringing on behalf of the author and her editor. The writing is soooooo bad! I was afraid to continue reading it lest I suffer irreversible left-brain damage.

For that reason, I did not finish MDTAW. So, although, to be fair, I rated the book 2 stars instead of 1 (in case the end was more entertaining than the beginning), I would advise that you avoid it if any of these things apply to you: 1) you're a JA purist; 2) stupid metaphors drive you crazy; OR 3) you have a basic affinity for English grammar.

I intend no insult to those reviewers who thought this book was well-written (for everyone has different tolerance and tastes, and it is unnecessary in such a forum to resort to pettiness), but there can be little doubt that the writing in Mr Darcy Takes a Wife *is* almost embarrassingly bad. I say this not only as an avid reader, but as one who reads critically.

First, let me say that I love Jane Austen. Like many here, I, too, have re-read Pride and Prejudice every year since I was 12 years old. I also have a degree in English literature, and have read many, many British novels over the course of my life. Thus, I can safely say that the overblown language of this book bears little resemblance to that of any classic from the 19th century (or any other era, for that matter).

That said, I am not some humorless snob who whines about a few split infinitives and cannot appreciate a fun, fluffy romance novel. And I am not at all put off by romantic re-interpretations of JA's books, especially well-written sequels that alter the characters somewhat. So I guess I'm not a purist in the strictest sense. In fact, I love reading different interpretations of Lizzy and Darcy--if they're well-conceived. Sadly, this book is neither well-written nor well-conceived.

Case in point: Although the cover said the author is American, I felt as if the book had been inexpertly translated from another language! Whichever reviewer said that the author wrote this with thesaurus in hand was correct. It seems as if she used her word processor's thesaurus to come up with obsolete/complicated synonyms for ordinary words, then simply substituted them without regard to precise connotation and nuance. Even Charles Dickens, who was supposedly paid by the word, used fewer pretentious adjectives than Ms. Berdoll. Furthermore, whereas Mr. Dickens was a master of the mot juste, Ms. Berdoll seems to have little regard for the precision of the synonyms she uses. I did many a double take over a poor word choice, and even went back and checked the dictionary on the chance that, perhaps, I was mistaken. I was not.

Plus, her faux-Victorianisms are ridiculous!!! Actually, I think she may have confused Elizabethan with Georgian English--and still she got it wrong! The resulting prose is so stilted and convoluted, that it's often hard to understand what the author is trying to say. For example: "To her dismay, their re-emergence into company bade the Master of Pemberley serve compunction by abandoning that much-appreciated endearment." WTF???!!! It doesn't even make much sense in context!

I cannot imagine that the author read much 19th century English literature (nor even watched much British TV) prior to seeing the 1995 P&P miniseries, because she displays no understanding of the appropriate rules of style and grammar. That wouldn't be a problem, if she didn't try so very awkwardly to imitate them!!! I laughed out loud when I read: "Propitious fortune allowed her to descry whom the crepuscular light yielded." Wow. That sentence should be entered in one of those world's lousiest fiction contests.

Worst of all, even if I try to judge the book in it its own right (as a lurid romance novel), it fails miserably. The sex scenes in this book are surprisingly unmoving. They are neither romantic nor sensual, merely graphic and technical--wherein descriptions of size and seepage (ew!) proxy for eroticism. They are devoid of tenderness and passion. In short, they're boring. Furthermore, the convoluted sentences and clumsy euphemisms distance the reader from the action. I like a good romance novel, but this isn't one.

I am so sorry I paid money for this book. I don't remember who recommended it to me, but I'll have to have a word with them. As a book lover, I very rarely return books, even those I do not like. I have thousands of books--literally. But I returned Mr Darcy Takes a Wife, because I hate to think that my money supports or, worse, encourages this sort of thing.

I'm all for injecting passion into Jane Austen's wonderful stories. But this is just depressing. I've read better JA fan-fiction on the Internet. No, really.

Jane Austen Must Be Rolling in Her Grave
I LOVE Jane Austen, PARTICULARLY Pride and Prejudice, so I was excited at the prospect of a good sequel. Was I in for a suprise. Reading through it, there were parts that I had to put the book down and just laugh my head off. A few examples of what set me off: When Lydia is trying to warn her sisters concerning the evils of intercourse, she says to Jane: "...if you allow Mr. Bingley to kiss you too ardently, he will be aroused to such lust his loins will ache and his engorged lance will burst from his nether garments to ravish you! Wickham's waggled at me more than once!"
Another example: When Elizabeth was trying to decide how to tell Darcy about her monthly, she thought of saying, "Sorry my dear, we cannot make the beast with two backs for I am riding the red stallion." I mean...come on.

Once I stopped laughing, I started becoming offended. Not at the sex, although it was raunchy, ridiculous, and ubiquitous, but more at the way she portrayed the characters. I suppose that if you were not a fan of the original, it would not be as insulting, but having fallen in love with Austen's complex, realistic, and honorable characters, it was humiliating to watch Berdoll turn them into typical romance-nonsense characters obsessed with sex. Elizabeth was changed from a strong, confident, intelligent woman into a weak and pathetic doll who follows her husband's every command. Plus she says and does things that she certainly never would in the original story. And Bingley, Bingley of all men has an illicit-love child. Furthermore, the writing itself was MONSTROUS. I think she tried to mimic the writing style of Austen's period, but the result was a miserable failure. The sentences were filled with extra words and phrases, none of which made the slightest bit of sense, and period phrases were mixed in with modern slang. Berdoll has forever destroyed the words "heretofore", "hence", "subsequent", and "therefore" for me by using them improperly AND in every other sentence, and if I never hear the word "howbeit" again, it'll be too soon. I think she was under the impression that it's a direct synonym for "although", and it's definitely not.

I only managed to read 1/3 of the book, and then just skimmed through parts of the rest, but I think that I can safely say this ranks high in my top ten list of "The Worst Books EVER". DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!!