Product Description

A guide to easing the suffering of the seriously ill through only an empathetic and informed presence. Jeff Kane, a physician, explains for all types of caregivers - family, friends, physicians, nurses, hospital and doctor office staff members - how to develop a dramatically effective "bedside manner". Everyone who has asked the question, "How can I help?" should find new ways of treating the ill. Readers are shown how to look beyond the disease itself, aiding the sick person to come to a sense of peace and those with chronic or terminal illness to live optimally with the illness. With a foreword by Larry Dossey MD, this guide explains the role of spiritual meaning in health and illness, allowing readers to develop a therapeutic relationship with the sick that alleviates suffering and aids healing. Chapters also cover: special exercises for coping with the complex and conflicting emotions that can accompany serious illness; listening for meaning in the words of the afflicted; using one's eyes, ears and heart when observing the ill; welcoming the opportunity for personal growth that sickness can bring; and healing oneself.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #504790 in Books
• Published on: 2003-04-01
• Released on: 2003-04-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 208 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Healing Yourself and OthersCuring is not the same as healing, explains physician Jeff Kane in The Healing Companion: Simple and Effective Ways Your Presence Can Help People Heal, with a foreword by Larry Dossey (Reinventing Medicine). Healing, he avers, is a process involving the emotional experience of illness and the "full, honest presence" of those who help alleviate the suffering by viewing the patient as a whole person, focusing on the here and now, doing their best and, when necessary, letting go. Based on 25 years of leading support groups for cancer patients, Kane's book is spiritual, anecdotal and wise. Agent, Agnes Birnbaum. Author appearances in the San Francisco Bay area; 25-city national radio campaign.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist
In 1976, after 10 years of medical practice, Kane realized that, though he knew a fair amount about diseases, he knew little about how patients experienced them. He left his practice and developed group discussions with patients of what it was like to be sick. He differentiates disease (what the patient has) from illness (what the patient feels). Overwhelmingly preferred for dealing with illness is communication consisting of open, understanding conversation; physical closeness; and "being there." Both attentive listening and "hearing" what is not said are vital. Diseases may be cured, he says, but it is people who are healed. Furthermore, healing is a process, not a goal. He gives many practical suggestions for enabling truly healing relationships, and he reinforces them with end-of-chapter notes. William Beatty
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Review
"Kane gives many practical suggestions for enabling truly healing relationships."

Customer Reviews

Great Guide
Have you ever read a book that felt like you were having a conversation with a good friend? Jeff Kane's new book, The Healing Companion makes me feel comforted, entertained, encouraged and enlightened; just as if I'd spent time talking with a good friend.

The book could be considered as a guide toward offering sick loved ones our healing presence. This guidance is valid for anyone relating to someone who is sick and is just as helpful to doctors, nurses and counselors as it is to family members and anyone who has a loved one who is sick.

A quote from page three says "This book will guide you toward offering sick loved ones your healing presence. By learning to ask them exactly how they're suffering and help them express their feelings thoroughly, you'll encourage an atmosphere of honesty. You'll move toward a perspective in which whatever happens physically, the emotional turmoil surrounding it will settle. All involved will benefit from increasing serenity."

I found especially helpful Jeff's discussion of how sick people suffer. He talks about really listening to their suffering and hearing their fears, anxieties, confusion, depression and rages. He says "I learned that people get emotional when they're sick and that fear and anger and despair aren't abnormal; they're a natural feature of sickness. In fact, I'd worry about the mental health of sick people who weren't affected by their consequent feelings. Hearing many hundreds of stories, I gradually learned that people don't generally suffer from their disease as much as from their emotions, the reactions their disease ignites in them." (page seven)

The rest of the chapters in the book are just as juicy and relevant as the above examples. In "Speaking With TLC", Jeff encourages speaking (only after much listening) with truth, leanness and compassion. He gives examples and practical questions to ask ourselves to pass the "TLC" test.

My two favorite chapters are "Welcoming Mystery" and "Healing Yourself". The first deals with the existential questions that illness can stir and the second with "continual" self care. What profound encouragement both offer for living in this world.

I truly enjoyed reading this book (and have read several sections more than once). The wonderful stories of courage and healing inspired me to be a better listener, a better friend and even a better person. Thank you Jeff.

This Is A Good Companion
We often confuse curing with healing, and don't know what to say when someone is very sick. In this sweet little book, Dr. Kane tells us through studies and stories how medical science can do the former, but how we can do the latter. For anyone, anywhere, anytime. It comes down to simply listening and being present. And it doesn't involve fixing. What a concept. Read it. It's inspiring.

Best book I've read on "What do I say?"
I LOVE this book. I'm a hospice nurse, and fairly comfortable talking with people who are facing their own death, but this is by far the best thing I've read on the topic. Besides being a wonderful, accessible writer, Jeff Kane is funny, wise, and practical. He's obviously done his own spiritual work, and his book shows that. I looked forward to every chapter, each of which seemed to answer a question I'd barely known to ask, and to answer it in a way that has helped me immensely in my practice, as well as in dealing with people in my own life who are dealing with things we wish weren't happening. Get it. Read it. Read it again. I'm on my second copy.