Product Description

Finally—You Can Understand Her!

Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Do you love and want to please the woman in your life, but just can’t seem to figure her out? That was before For Men Only. Now at your fingertips is the tool that will unlock the secret to her mysterious ways. Through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey of women, this book demonstrates that women are actually not random and that they really can be systematized and “mapped.” In fact, much to men’s delight, this book shows that women are actually quite easy to understand and please—as long as you know what it is they need. This simple map will guide you to loving your wife or girlfriend in the way she needs to be loved.

Finally.

You Can Understand Her!

Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Have you given up trying to “get” the woman in your life? If so, you are in for a pleasant eye-opener: She can be understood. Even better—you can make her happy. Which will make you happy.

The bestselling author of For Women Only teams with her husband to offer men the key to unlocking the mysterious ways of women. Through Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn ’s national scientific survey and hundreds of interviews, For Men Only reveals what you can do today to improve your relationship. And believe it or not, as Jeff assures men, “It’s not splitting the atom.”

What makes her tick? What is she really asking (but not actually saying)? Take the guesswork out of trying to please your wife or girlfriend and begin loving her in the way she needs. Easily. For Men Only is a straightforward map that will lead you straight into her heart.

And for every guy who rarely reads a manual:

Quick-Start Guide Included!

“When we featured Shaunti’s book For Women Only on FamilyLife Today , the phone rang off the hook! When Shaunti and Jeff come back on our broadcast, I’m buying some more phones. This is fresh and relevant—good stuff for every marriage. Read it!”

Dennis Rainey

President, FamilyLife

Story Behind the Book

“As I was writing For Women Only to help women understand the inner lives of men, over and over I heard that men wished there was a way to understand their wives, but they felt it was probably impossible. I heard from them, ‘You are writing this little slim volume about men, but if it was about understanding women, it would have to be the size of an encyclopedia! Women are random and complicated!’ These men were surprised and encouraged when I assured them that women are neither random nor complicated, and we can be understood. Men just want to love their wives well, and For Men Only will help them do that.”

—Shaunti Feldhahn

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #875 in Books
• Published on: 2006-04-03
• Released on: 2006-04-03
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 192 pages

From AudioFile
The authors use their Christian beliefs and the results of a survey to explain that women need security, approval, and consistent emotional connection--all of which are often frustrated by men's obsessions with logic and competition, as well as their need for regular periods of isolation. The production is a handy guide for understanding women, rather than a theological lesson or a resource for troubled marriages. Bible quotes and mental health prescriptions are minimized in favor of practical insights and advice. Nathan Larkin somehow tones down the already low-key writing, thus flattening the material even more but not threatening its accessibility. The generalizations about what men expect are uninspiring, in spite of the narrator's attempt to speak buddy to buddy with his male listeners. T.W. © AudioFile 2007, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine

About the Author
Shaunti Feldhahn is a best-selling author of For Women Only, a public speaker, and a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist. She contributes the conservative opinion for the Atlanta Journal- Constitution’s popular online “Woman to Woman” column which is syndicated all over the country. Shaunti holds a masters degree in public policy from Harvard University, and worked on Wall Street and Capitol Hill before becoming a surprise bestselling author in 1998. This wife of attorney and co-author Jeff Feldhahn and mother of two, now applies her analytical skills to illuminating those important, surprising truths that people really need to understand about each other. Her books for adults include For Women Only, For Men Only and For Parents Only and for teens - For Young Women Only and coming September of 2008, For Young Men Only. Each book is based on a nationwide survey and more than1,000 personal interviews. The result: candid expressions of the difficult-to-communicate-but-true inner feelings and thoughts of the men, women and teens surveyed. What makes Shaunti’s books and speaking events successful is her ability to communicate so clearly what she learned from the surveys about the inner longings, the reasons behind the exasperating words, and what your spouse or teen would tell you if only they could trust you to truly listen … what they say will surprise you!

Customer Reviews

Smackdown: 4 Men Only vs 4 Women Only
Both books were interesting. But scanning the reviews for both books today was more illuminating.

"For Men Only" - helping men figure out their fairer partner - garnered about 90 comments thus far. The few negative reviews (less than 3 stars) were from two apparently unhappily-married guys, and a woman suggesting if you didn't already know what women wanted you were clueless. The rest, mostly by women (my best guess here, given the pronouns and screen names used by reviewers), offered glowing commentary of how important it is to understand and meet a woman's needs. Ah, the importance of patience, kindness, listening. My favorites were the ones in all capitals and exclamation points. Yes, yes, YES, YES!!!

Now scan the "For Women Only" comments - all 212 of them. Thus far there are 29 negative reviews (including 16 "1 star" votes) for a book on how ladies can better love their men. There were a few unhappy guys, mostly complaining the book wasn't "biblical" enough, but the bulk came from ladies insulted (!) by the idea of compromising their feminine selves for some man.

The ladies offered such loving things as:

"Unfortunately, this book is only going to help you if you're a fat nagging religious close minded wife who's let herself go."

"The entire book was about stroking a man's ego at the expense of anything the woman may want."

"This book is full of generalizations and stereotypes that should have gone out of fashion at the same time as beehive hairdos."

"If you want to find a reason to play into all of the broad societal expectations about your personal appearance, your sexual boundaries, and general steps to becoming a Stepford wife, then this is your book!"

Or my favorite: "There is an underlying "good" here that is twisted in a package that will be ultimately damaging to our children and to ourselves. Yes, we must be careful of our spouse's emotional, physical, sexual, and relational needs. But we must do this out of love and respect that is guided by a sense of mutuality in the marriage relationship, not by catering to an unhealthy sense of self-worth that is so pervasive in the responses of Feldhahn's participants. Feldhahn has taken these unhealthy responses and twisted them into normal "healthy" responses that women must then take care of through their behavior and appearance. We should not buy into this myth. Rather, we should take seriously the feelings of low self-esteem, poor attachment, and an un-Biblical view of the role of women in a marriage relationship that were demonstrated by the participant's responses and work to improve the messages we are sending the men in our society."

Obviously a graduate of Women's Studies at Wellesley College.

Now, don't get me wrong. The large majority of both men and women who read these two books found them helpful in understanding the opposite sex a little better. Most couples also found them to be good conversation-starters, important for any relationship. Having scanned both I also thought there was plenty of useful info in each. It's hard, though, to miss the more gracious thoughts liberally applied to his book about her, compared to the begrudging admission in the other that, well, men like being loved too.

Speaking of usefulness, perhaps the person these books helped the most was a former boyfriend of Ms. Rhonda Pyle of Corpus, TX:

"My boyfriend gave me this book in hopes that I would read it and think that what it was saying was insightful and profound. He thought it could help make me into the woman he wanted me to be. I just want to say to the women that are considering buying this book: I broke up with my boyfriend of two years - who I was going to marry - shortly after he gave me this unhelpful, uninspired piece of material. I was glad though; it revealed to me the kind of man he was. I don't think this helped me understand men more; it just made excuses for them. I remember thinking how often it excused men's insecurities and how women should just be OK with this obvious fault. I'm a Christian woman, but I don't believe that women have to be pushovers for men in order to be a righteous woman in their marriages..."

Wherever you are, bro, count your blessings. You dodged a bullet thanks to this little book.

Perhaps Ms. Rhonda's unwittingly found the most important reason to buy Shaunti's stuff: Give a copy to your (prospective) mate and see what happens. If it gets devoured and put into action, you're a lucky guy/gal. If it remains un-opened on the nightstand or ends up in the garbage disposal, perhaps you should reconsider your options...

It doesn't give all the answers such as...
1. How to be clever enough not to marry at all ? (People told me: "Don't do it", but I tought I was clever...)
2. When you are married how to get rid of her with minimum of negative effects to the child and minimum costs.

Problem: This book would like that you think that you can have happy marriage with women = sorry, it's impossible, but if you want ... well, keep on trying, (ha,ha, ha, ...)

Guys, you should check this out ... :)
This is a must read for men who desire to better understand their better half. It's a quick, easy read that explains what men don't get about their significant other.

I think that this would be good for both Christians and Non-Christians alike! Such a great book!

j