Product Description

This classic book, written 17 years ago but still selling more than 13,000 copies every year, has been completely updated and expanded by the author.

"I used to drink," writes John Bradshaw,"to solve the problems caused by drinking. The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed."

Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #3516 in Books
• Published on: 2005-10-15
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 350 pages

About the Author
John Bradshaw is a counselor, speaker and one of the leading voices of the recovery movement, especially inner child and family issues. His classic books include Healing the Shame that Binds You (1.3 million copies sold), Bradshaw on: The Family (1.2 million copies sold) and Homecoming (3 million copies sold).

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
PART I The Problem Spiritual Bankruptcy We have no imagination for Evil, but Evil has us in its grip. C. G. Jung Introduction: Shame as Demonic (The Internalization Process) As I've delved deeper into the destructive power of toxic shame, I've come to see that it directly touches the age-old theological and metaphysical discussion generally referred to as the problem of evil. The problem of evil may be more accurately described as the mystery of evil. No one has ever explained the existence of evil in the world. Centuries ago in the Judeo-Christian West, evil was considered the domain of the Devil, or Satan, the fallen angel. Biblical scholars tell us that the idea of a purely evil being like the Devil or Satan was a late development in the Bible. In the book of Job, Satan was the heavenly district attorney whose job it was to test the faith of those who, like Job, were specially blessed. During the Persian conquest of the Israelites, the Satan of Job became fused with the Zoroastrian dualistic theology adopted by the Persians, where two opposing forces, one of good, Ahura Mazda, the Supreme Creator deity, was in a constant battle with Ahriman, the absolute god of evil. This polarized dualism was present in the theology of the Essenes and took hold in Christianity where God and his Son Jesus were in constant battle with the highest fallen angel, Satan, for human souls. This dualism persists today only in fundamentalist religions (Muslim terrorists, the Taliban, the extreme Christian Right and a major part of evangelical Christianity). The figure of Satan and the fires of hell have been demythologized by modern Christian biblical scholars, theologians and philosophers. The mystery of evil has not been dismissed by the demythologizing of the Devil. Rather, it has been intensified in the twentieth century by two world wars, Nazism, Stalinism, the genocidal regime of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, and the heinous and ruthless extermination of Tibetans and Tibetan Buddhism by Pol Pot. These reigns of evil form what has been called a collective shadow, and it has been shown how naïve and unconscious the people of the world have been in relation to these evils. The denial of evil seems to be a learned behavior. The idea of evil is always subject to denial as a coping mechanism. Evil is real and is a permanent part of the human condition. 'To deny that evil is a permanent affliction of humankind,' says the philosopher Ernst Becker in his book Escape from Evil, 'is perhaps the most dangerous kind of thinking.' He goes on to suggest that in denying evil, humans have heaped evil on the world. Historically, great misfortunes have resulted from humans, blinded by the full reality of evil, thinking they were doing good but dispensing miseries far worse than the evil they thought to eradicate. The Crusades during the Middle Ages and the Vietnam War are examples that come to mind. While demons, Satan and hellfire have been demytholo

Customer Reviews

Interesting read
It's clear from the beginning how much Bradshaw cares about this topic an how profoundly positive his exploration into this area was a great gift to him. It was refreshing to begin reading Bradshaw's take on shame. I began to see familiars in his descriptions right away and was deeply moved by them. They helped my feel not so isolated, among many other emotions and feelings, in my own challenges with shame. I was disappointed though in the sensationalism in some of his claims and his self-promotion for his other material. I also question intensely his claims about the 12 step programs. He states that no one questions the efficacy of these programs, but many do. The blind support of these programs has no basis in research and in many cases there is support to the idea that while the primary behavior may change, i.e. alcohol abuse, the program continues to foster deep internal shame and feelings of inadequacy in facing the deep underpinnings of addiction in many people. In general I think this book can be a useful tool, but must be buttressed by additional reading by essential voices in this field, i.e. Frances Broucek, et. al. So yes, check this book out, but read it with questions while feeling bathed in recognition and validation. Use the tools that are useful for you and let go of what isn't.

Goes along with 12-step programs
Bradshaw, J. 1988. Healing the Shame that Binds You. Health Communications, Deerfield Beach, Florida

John Bradshaw's book is full of references to various philosphies and methods of treating psychological problems. He expalins how many of our difficulties relate to how we were made to feel unworthy of love.

I especially enjoyed how he described the work of Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck. Thinking that we should be perfect or that we know what someone is thinking can lead us into depression.

John Bradshaw goes from quoting famous people to mentioning the simple praises that are heard in 12-step meetings. So people who attend 12-step meetings are likely to get a lot from this book.

This book is really bad.
This book shamelessly regurgitates the ideas of others without documenting the sources with footnotes. Moreover, Bradshaw fundamentally misunderstands and misrepresents seminal ideas drawn from psychoanalytic theory, Gestalt therapy, Transactional analysis, and other schools of thought. The result is confusing and will lead many people down a false path in their attempts to address mental health problems.