Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #750512 in Books
• Published on: 1990-04
• Released on: 1990-04-30
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback

Customer Reviews

INsight to your basic being in relationship
This book provides a rare insight into the nature of relationships and helped me both personally and professionally when I found it circa 1982/3. It is a sensitive and timely, even now, aide to understanding each persons role in a relationship. I have used material from it in therapy, in a Sunday school class on relationships and often recommend it to clients. Together with Collection (formerly Collections, '79) it changed my life for the better.

Shirley Luthman presents some mind-blowing concepts
Shirley Luthman's first book, "Collection" (referred to by the other reviewer and also available on Amazon) changed my life. This book covers the same material. Luthman talks about the correct relationship and understanding between masculine and feminine forces inside an individual, and also in the outside world ("sexual polarity" as described by David Deida), which have been the single most important factor in my personal development and happiness, and also my lifelong obsession. Here the "masculine" element refers to the aspects that are active, rational, single-pointed consciousness and production-driven, while the "feminine" aspects are receptive, intuitive, diffuse consciousness and pleasure-driven. When these forces are in correct relationship the masculine's goal and primary source of meaning and fulfillment lies in service to the feminine and to its pleasure goals, while the feminine's goal and primary source of meaning lies in maximizing its own pleasure and the pleasure of the masculine partner. Each force (or individual) must be continually giving the other feedback and relating to it, and when this is done correctly the power generated by the interaction is mind-blowing. David Deida says something like (I paraphrase): "men without women tend to be flat and boring; women without men tend to be unfocussed and emotionally self-indulgent". Of course we all have masculine and feminine elements and so we all have to deal at times with these traits (flat and boring, and emotionally self-indulgent). Also all couples sexually-polarize to a greater or lesser degree and therefore this dynamic is present in gay couples also. These concepts are very controversial but extremely powerful. My teachers in this area include Shirley Gehrke Luthman, David Deida, and Victor Baranco and the Lafayette Morehouse. I also recommend David Deida "For my lover" and Steve and Vera Bodansky's books (Steve and Vera were students of Victor Baranco).