Product Description

Dirty looks and taunting notes are just a few examples of girl bullying that girls and women have long suffered through silently and painfully. With this book Rachel Simmons elevated the nation's consciousness and has shown millions of girls, parents, counselors, and teachers how to deal with this devastating problem. Poised to reach a wider audience in paperback, including the teenagers who are its subject, Odd Girl Out puts the spotlight on this issue, using real-life examples from both the perspective of the victim and of the bully.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #39267 in Books
• Published on: 2003-04-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 301 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780156027342
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Customer Reviews

female bullying
This book is long over due! It has to be one of the most important books on female social behavior I've ever read.

Author Rachel Simmon's explains in graphic detail how boys tend to bully acquaintances or strangers but girls attack within tightly knit friendship networks, making aggression harder to identify and intensifying the damage to the victims so the impact can be felt well into adulthood.

Females fight with what is called "relational aggression": the silent treatment, exclusion, mean looks, rumor spreading, ganging up on a girl, manipulating relationships. In a girl's world, friendship is a weapon. A fist is weak when compared to the humiliation of a day of silence and rejection. There is no gesture more devastating than the back turning coldly away. Simmon offers advice on how to help young girls deal with this huge problem in our society.

My only real disappointment with this book is it assumes this vicious behavior stops when girls grow up and become women. This simply is not true. I know too many grown women who behave this way. My neighbor's behavior fits the definition of "relational aggression" to a `T' from the silent treatment and exclusion of her victims to the way she is overly concerned with her façade as a likable neighbor, wife, and mother. She is a wolf in lambs clothing. While the naïve decry school age girls as ruthless, I beg to differ, in adulthood, women are even worse, they are only more sophisticated at disguising their ruthless maneuvers.

It's about time!!!
I was never targeted in school, but both my sisters were. They've grown up to be covert bullies as a result. I guess they decided if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I've worked in offices with GROWN WOMEN who are displaying this emotional adolescent social dynamic. It's very disturbing because as much as I'd like to enjoy the company of women, I feel deeply distrustful of them. I think this book did a fine job of presenting this subject, except the author could have gone more into the fact that some girls never grow up and persist with this cliquish nightmare well into their 30's and 40's. I think, since the woman's movement is still relatively young, this is a transitional stage and soon, like artists, even traditional conservative women will bravely face the challenge to grow up and behave like evolved human adults instead of mean little schoolyard bullies. I wish I'd had this book to read long ago-it explained so much that no one talks about because of how invisible and insidious this behavior is. It's the victim that gets called bitter, oversensitive, and crazy. I hope every woman reads this so they won't role model this method of venting their aggressions to another generation of girls.

A very well written book!
The reviews already listed above on this book hit the nail right on the head. It is a very well written book. My 12 year old daughter and I have sat side by side and discussed it. She's enjoyed hearing about my own similar experiences as a little girl. I enjoyed openning her eyes to the hidden culture of the way girls tend to treat each other so that she would recognize it when she sees it directed to her.

The reason why I rated it 4 stars instead of 5 was because of my 1 disappointment. I wish the author had added a chapter about how to handle and come out a winner when you are the victim. It gives no advice on how to deflect the negative treatment, how to respond to it. How to basically shut the abusive treatment down so that the abuser can see that you know what she's doing and it's not going to work. I wish the author would come out with a second book on this topic.