Product Description

Addressing the task of disciplining children ages 2 through 12 without arguing, yelling, or spanking, this program offers easy-to-follow steps to immediately manage troublesome behavior with reason, patience, and compassion. Parents and teachers learn how to encourage and respect children's growing independence with 10 strategies for building self-esteem. Also discussed are the three most important qualities for parents or teachers to exhibit in order to foster competence in kids. Tips are included on how to prevent homework arguments, make mealtimes more enjoyable, conduct effective family meetings, and encourage children to start doing their household chores. This award-winning program discusses the importance of establishing and maintaining a home or classroom with fair and consistent discipline. This revised edition includes suggestions on how to avoid over-parenting, build children's social skills, and apply the program within mental health agencies and classrooms.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #226 in Books
• Published on: 2004-02-01
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 224 pages

From Booklist
Previously available as a booklet in conjunction with a workshop and as a video, clinical psychologist Phelan's simple, effective child-management program has now been issued as a trade paperback. The gist of the plan is to enable parents to discipline children, ages 2 to 12, by instituting a system of counting and time-outs, delivered straightforwardly and unemotionally. How the regimen is used to stop undesirable behavior, stimulate desirable conduct, and cope with children's testing is conveyed in Phelan's candid style, filled with common sense, concrete examples, and lots of reassuring humor. Time-and parent-tested, the methods are applied in identifiable situations (pouting, bedtime, dressing) as well in the all-too familiar incidences of children testing and manipulating their elders. Best of all, the method enables parents to control their kids without yelling . . . or worse. In addition, Phelan covers homework, active listening, self-esteem, behavior in public, and the use of his method in schools. An excellent, workable, and supportive resource for parents and educators. Irene Wood

Midwest Book Review
This newly revised second edition provides a fine coverage of effective discipline choices to be used on children ages 1-12. From handling sibling rivalry and arguing to avoiding self-defeating syndromes and reactions, this covers everything from home to public behavior, providing parents with plenty of solid tips which work.

Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., L.A. Parent Magazine, September 1999
If your child has begun to rule the roost a bit more than you'd like, this book provides a system to get your family operating smoothly. Especially sensible is Phelan's theory that children shouldn't be argued with endlessly to convince them to do what you want them to do. He also wisely points out the best way to get your child to repeat unwanted behavior is to have a highly emotional reaction to it. The plan is simple, and though it's not quite magic, it may feel like it is.

Customer Reviews

Good book but remember its limitations
1-2-3 Magic has a very large following for good reason. For many children it is all the structure and expectation they need to know that their parents/caretakers will follow through with the previously learned consequence.

There is a caveat, however, for families with special needs children. This book needs to be modified to meet their needs. Your children may need to have visuals before hand to review what is expected. Visuals would include schedules, and social stories. Many children with special needs, be they be ADHD, LD, or in the autism spectrum, can not access this information readily, due to problems seeing the similarities of the current situation with previous ones. It is much like when my children were small, I taught them not to even consider asking for a treat in the checkout line of the grocery store. But when we went to Target or Wal-Mart they would beg. I asked them why and they said they were told not to do it at the grocery store but this wasn't the grocery store so it must be all right.

So I would say do learn the trategies, but realize that you will have to "make them your own" through modification to meet the needs of a special needs child who processes differently or slower.

Great Strategy
My husband and I found ourselves at a loss in how to handle our high spririted toddler. This book gave us a consistent strategy and confidence in dealing with challenging situations.

This Works and Works Quickly
I'm amazed by some of these negative reviews. I wonder if they read the same book I did or just skipped whole sections. Plus, many of them are clearly operating under the Little Adult Assumption (see chapter 3).

My 4yo took a while before he got it (we started when he was 3), and he tested me every conceivable way. Some days he still does. It worked for my 9yo (8 at the time) in one day. Those who have said it shouldn't be used with older children don't realize that by the time they are 9, they catch on and you barely ever count them. And what does all this order and peace in your home provide? Hours of peaceful playtime to spend with your children during which they can respectfully express their feelings, without attacking or blaming whether positive or negative. My children and I get along better than ever because I am no longer screaming at them and they are clear on what my expectations are.

When you're at your wit's end and you buy this out of desperation, you will read through it in one day and get started, but I highly recommend that you read it again a couple of months later to be sure you don't miss relevant things - like "active listening," discuss discussions and counting attacks, etc., etc.

Happy parenting!