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Disasterpiece Theater Part 7
By an Amazon.com customer
Stealth (Widescreen Two-Disc Special Edition)Stealth (Widescreen Two-Disc Special Edition)
Buy new: $16.99 / Used from: $0.01
Is it possible for a big budget flick to be worse than the cheesiest Sci-fi channel movie? Lets find out.....
Bad Girls (Extended Cut)Bad Girls (Extended Cut)
Buy new: $9.98 / Used from: $1.22
Young Guns with a female twist. Too bad its a rancid film about hookers getting revenge.
The Ninth GateThe Ninth Gate
Buy new: $8.99 / Used from: $1.49
The most boring religious thriller next to Left Behind. Johnny Depp is a great actor but he is way out of his element here.
The OrderThe Order
Buy new: $9.98 / Used from: $0.37
RIP to Heath Ledger but man this religious thriller was crap beyond words.
Ghosts of Mars (Special Edition)Ghosts of Mars (Special Edition)
Buy new: $9.95 / Used from: $1.07
How the mighty have fallen! John Carpenter cant do better than this?
Van Helsing (Widescreen Edition)Van Helsing (Widescreen Edition)
Buy new: $11.99 / Used from: $1.25
CGI overkill, campy dialogue and repetitive action scenes. Van Helsing is the Batman & Robin of horror movies.
The PostmanThe Postman
Buy used from: $4.69
Another overlong, laughably bad epic starring Kevin COSTner that wears out its welcome 1 hour into the movie.
WaterworldWaterworld
Buy used from: $1.94
Millions of dollars that could have been used to feed starving people in poor countries are wasted on an atrocious, cheap-looking vanity project. Isn't life wonderful?
Halloween - The Curse of Michael MyersHalloween - The Curse of Michael Myers
Buy new: $9.49 / Used from: $3.58
*Yawn* Every Halloween movie after Halloween II is not worth mentioning.
Funny Games (2008)Funny Games (2008)
Buy new: $22.49 / Used from: $2.43
Why would you remake your own movie and show contempt for the audience for being interested in this immoral tale? Michael Heneke can kiss my a**!
Turistas (Unrated Edition)Turistas (Unrated Edition)
Buy new: $12.49 / Used from: $0.72
Awful tale about a bunch stupid people getting tortured and killed by the locals in Brazil. Not scary of suspenseful.
Poltergeist 3 [VHS]Poltergeist 3 [VHS]
Buy used from: $0.88
Carol Anne! Carol Anne! Carol Anne! Carol Anne! Carol Anne! Carol Anne! Carol Anne! Carol, you get the point. Very bad sequel.
Teen Wolf Too [VHS]Teen Wolf Too [VHS]
Buy used from: $0.99
Terrible sequel to an okay first movie.
Rambo IIIRambo III
Buy new: $9.98 / Used from: $0.55
Rambo fights alongside the Arabs against evil Russians. This sequel was stupid as hell back then and its even more asinine now post 9/11.
CobraCobra
Buy new: $9.49 / Used from: $1.68
I love Sly but he had his fair share of garbage flicks and this was no exception.
Johnny MnemonicJohnny Mnemonic
Buy new: $9.95 / Used from: $0.69
Keanu Reeves is at his worst in this ultra-crappy sci-fi thriller.
Pearl Harbor (Two-Disc 60th Anniversary Commemorative Edition)Pearl Harbor (Two-Disc 60th Anniversary Commemorative Edition)
Buy new: $12.99 / Used from: $1.79
Not only do they alter a historical event, they cram as much war movie cliches as they can into this abomination. Nice.
Copper Mountain: A Club Med ExperienceCopper Mountain: A Club Med Experience
Buy used from: $0.74
What a waste of celluloid! This is not a movie. Its advertisement for Club Med starring Jim Carrey.
Chairman of the BoardChairman of the Board
Buy new: $9.98 / Used from: $3.86
This is exactly when the world realized how painfully unfunny Carrot Top has become and boy what a rude awakening that was!
Going OverboardGoing Overboard
Buy new: $9.98 / Used from: $2.43
People seem to forget that Adam Sandler started out making crappy films and here's proof.
Witless Protection (Widescreen Edition)Witless Protection (Widescreen Edition)
Buy new: $13.49 / Used from: $0.36
Larry the Cable Guy continues his awful movie streak with this disaster.
Color of NightColor of Night
Buy new: $8.99 / Used from: $2.10
Consider Bruce Willis lucky. His career survived total busts like this cheesy erotic thriller.
The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior (Widescreen)The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior (Widescreen)
Buy new: $12.49 / Used from: $1.54
Scorpion King doesnt need a prequel. It needs to be erased from our memories permanently.
Bottoms UpBottoms Up
Buy new: $13.49 / Used from: $0.39
You'd think these crappy teen comedies died with the Freddie Prinze Jr era but no. They just keep cranking them out.
Nine LivesNine Lives
Buy new: $13.49 / Used from: $0.50
You'll never find a more boring slasher flick.....
Soul Survivors (The Killer Cut)Soul Survivors (The Killer Cut)
Buy new: $9.98 / Used from: $0.01
...........or maybe you can!
The Ladykillers (Widescreen Edition)The Ladykillers (Widescreen Edition)
Buy new: $13.49 / Used from: $0.31
How many unnecessary remakes do we have to suffer through? This was just awful.
Jarhead (Widescreen Edition)Jarhead (Widescreen Edition)
Buy new: $9.99 / Used from: $0.01
Wanna insult the Marines? Show them this atrocious film and watch them squirm.
My Super Ex-GirlfriendMy Super Ex-Girlfriend
Buy new: $12.49 / Used from: $0.01
Uma Thurman plays a jealous superheroine in this brainless and cheesy spoof.
Texas RangersTexas Rangers
Buy new: $13.49 / Used from: $1.95
A poorly written western flick starring Ashton Kutcher. You do the math.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (Widescreen)The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (Widescreen)
Buy new: $17.49 / Used from: $2.54
Hands down the worst installment of the Mummy series.
The Fog (Widescreen Unrated Edition)The Fog (Widescreen Unrated Edition)
Buy new: $13.49 / Used from: $0.01
Another pointless remake that turns a classic horror film in MTV-style cheese.
Behind Enemy LinesBehind Enemy Lines
Buy new: $12.49 / Used from: $1.65
Jingoistic propaganda at its worst. Owen Wilson as the hero? Why not have Ashton Kutcher play James Bond while you're at it.
Cop and a HalfCop and a Half
Buy new: $9.99 / Used from: $2.27
Godawful popcorn flick from the 90s. Why does Hollywood always feel that kids should be as insufferable as possible on screen?
Ocean's TwelveOcean's Twelve
Buy new: $11.49 / Used from: $0.40
The first one was neat. This sequel was lazy and uninspiring to say the least. It's basically a vanity project.
Live and Let DieLive and Let Die
Buy new: $11.99 / Used from: $4.98
I have nothing against Roger Moore but he starred in the worst installments in the 007 series, this dull movie included.
Die Another Day (Full Screen Special Edition)Die Another Day (Full Screen Special Edition)
Buy new: $13.49 / Used from: $0.01
I like Pierce Brosnan as James Bond but he should have passed the torch this time around. Stupid and formulaic to a fault.
Bad Boys II (Two-Disc Special Edition)Bad Boys II (Two-Disc Special Edition)
Buy used from: $0.54
Over top action scenes+ over the top+ ethnic stereotypes+ and over the top acting from everybody involved= all in a days work for Michael Bay.
Mission - Impossible II (Widescreen Edition)Mission - Impossible II (Widescreen Edition)
Buy used from: $0.01
Whiny critics groaned over the complexity of the first one(which was great by the way) so they made the sequel as dumb as possible. Thanks a lot dullards.
The Time MachineThe Time Machine
Buy new: $12.49 / Used from: $1.73
Glossy and pointless. One of those movies that looks good but is about as empty as a block of tofu.