Product Description

Put your flawed foot forward.

Pick up most leadership books and you’ll find strategies for leveraging your power and minimizing your areas of weakness. But think about the leaders whose names have gone down in history. Most of them were so messed up that, if they were looking for work today, no executive placement service would give them the time of day.

God’s criteria for choosing leaders runs counter to the conventional wisdom. Our culture equates strength with effectiveness, but God favors leaders who know the value of brokenness.

In Leading With a Limp, you’ll discover what makes flawed leaders so successful. They’re not preoccupied with protecting their image, they are undaunted by chaos and complexity, they are ready to risk failure in moving an organization from what is to what should be. God chooses leaders who aren’t deceived by the myths of power and control, but who realize that God’s power is found in brokenness.

If you are a leader–or if you have been making excuses to avoid leading–find out how you can take full advantage of your weakness. A limping leader is the person God uses to accomplish amazing things.

To go deeper, check out the Leading With a Limp Workbook.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #414234 in Books
• Published on: 2006-05-16
• Released on: 2006-05-16
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 224 pages

Review
Praise for Leading with a Limp

“There are good books on leadership, but this one is profound. It is better than a ‘how to do it’ book; this is a ‘how to be it’ book for leaders. Dan Allender offers serious wisdom rather than simple platitudes.”
–Mark Sanborn, speaker, leadership consultant, and best-selling author of The Fred Factor

“Not only is Dan Allender a good friend, he is a great leader. In Leading with a Limp, he has shown us how we can effectively lead those allotted to our charge. Read this book...it will bring a lot of things into perspective for you.”
–Dennis Rainey, president of FamilyLife and coauthor of Moments Together for Couples

“After reading this book, the first two words out of my mouth were ‘At last!’ Amid a deluge of spiritual gifts inventories, at last there is someone who understands how God’s strength is made perfect in our imperfections. At last someone has brought spiritual strengths and spiritual weaknesses into conversation. For Dan Allender, the limp is a limpid way of walking that leads into the very presence of God.”
–Leonard Sweet, author of The Three Hardest Words and Out of the Question…Into the Mystery

“Leading with a Limp is not your basic, cafeteria-brand manual on how to ‘do’ leadership. It is a call to openly face your shortcomings as a leader. Dan Allender reminds us that our greatest asset as leaders is not our competence but the courage to name and deal with our frailties and imperfections.”
–Dr. Crawford W. Loritts, Jr., author, speaker, and senior pastor of Fellowship Bible Church in Roswell, Georgia

“Once again Dan Allender has propelled us headlong into the paradoxical wonders of the gospel of God’s grace. Leading with a Limp exposes the thin veneer of respectability we leaders try to stretch over our destructive idols of control and pragmatism. In so doing, Allender invites us to the freeing humility of leading as “the chief sinner” in whatever context God has placed us.”
–Scotty Smith, founding pastor of Christ Community Church in Franklin, Tennessee, and coauthor of Restoring Broken Things

“I often wonder if other people feel the way I do when they read books on leadership. Most of the books are heavy on motivation or strategy or positive thinking. Dan Allender looks at how anyone can move his team–and himself–forward when he is pummeled by circumstances and his heart is fainting. This is real-world stuff, but you’ll have to take off the rose-colored glasses to read it.”
–Bob Lepine, cohost of FamilyLife Today

“Leading with a Limp will have a lasting impact on me; it addressed several issues I’m struggling with at this point in my life and leadership. I thank God for this honest and insightful book!”
–Brian McLaren, pastor, author of The Secret Message of Jesus and A New Kind of Christian

About the Author
Dan B. Allender, PhD, is a founder of Mars Hill Graduate School near Seattle, where he serves as president. He also is a professor of counseling, a therapist in private practice, and a popular speaker. He is the author of a number of books, including To Be Told, How Children Raise Parents, The Healing Path, and The Wounded Heart. Dan and his wife, Rebecca, are the parents of three children.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
A LEADERSHIP CONFESSION
Flight Is the Only Sane Response

I don’t pet stray dogs. I was bitten on the hand when I was six. I recall watching this immaculately coiffed collie bound out of a neighbor’s yard to greet me. Its elegant, effortless movement mesmerized me. I put my hand out and, in a split second, went from being a dog lover to a child wounded in hand and heart. Since that day I’ve never fully trusted a foreign pooch. I am dog scarred—a tad suspicious, but still open to man’s best friend. The same is true in my approach to leaders known as pastors. I seldom pet a strange or even a well-known pastor. This came about after I was bitten at age twenty-six. As a lowly intern in a local church, I was earning a whopping fifty dollars a week for services that included leading a bible study, visiting church members, and walking the senior pastor’s dog. I worked with the pastor for more than a year, and after I graduated from seminary, I came back as an assistant pastor.
The senior pastor and I often played tennis together, and after one afternoon match we sat and talked about some of the things he wanted me to tackle in the coming year. He was my mentor, and I was his apt disciple. But it is also true that even though I had graduated from a fine seminary, I had the maturity of a street kid who had barely escaped death, jail, and excessive brain damage due to illicit drugs, and I had little idea how to function in the business of organized religion. The church was as foreign to me as the Junior League.
I was grateful beyond words to have a job and a future with this man and his church. We left the tennis court at five o’clock and reconvened in an elders’ meeting at six. An hour into the meeting, the senior pastor said to the leaders of our church, “I’ve come to the decision that it is best for Dan and the church to part ways.” He offered no explanation. It was a clean, simple bite. Several of the elders felt the decision was abrupt and without due diligence, so I kept my job for another eighteen months. But the handwriting was on the wall. We leaders are dangerous. They can bite without provocation or at least without logic, and it is best to stay out of their way or you’ll have to deal with the consequences. Leaders can seem capricious, aloof, narcissistic, and selfinterested. I wanted little to do with their world, so I left the complex world
of church politics and the rough-and-tumble culture of leadership to work on my doctorate. But I didn’t escape political turmoil.
The academic realm involves politics similar to the clan warfare of early marauding tribes. It is all about loyalty—allegiance to the tartan, flag, and set of convictions that mark your community as unique. If you can wield a broadax or sword well enough and speak the language of the clan, your position is secure until death. This is called tenure. I entered the clan convinced that I would never again lead any group, community, church, school, or sports team as long as I lived. In fact, one of the great advantages of being an academic was that I was expected to complain about the administration, but I didn’t have to take on any leadership responsibilities beyond teaching my classes.
Umpteen years later, six colleagues and I wrestled with the decision of whether to apply for accreditation for the graduate school we had haphazardly started in Seattle. We were in a quandary: The school that had allowed us to be a branch campus no longer wanted us. If we chose to disband, we would face humiliation as well as the possibility of lawsuits stemming from the school’s inability to fulfill its promise of offering degrees. We decided to apply for accreditation. The application required the signature of the school’s presi dent—a position we had never discussed. We really didn’t think we needed a president because we planned to operate as a nonhierarchical guild of peers without a central, decision-making figure. We would be a community, not an organization.
When the moment came for the president to sign the application, all heads in the room dropped, including my own. An awkward half minute ensued, and I looked up. Someone noticed my movement and said, “You are the oldest and the best known.” I said, “Okay, but you all know I m not really the president.” Everyone laughed. It was as obvious as a scream in the ear: I’d take the title, and we would all share the power and responsibility. The dream of a nonhierarchical community of peers collapsed under conflicting expectations, bruised feelings, immorality, and—thank God—a board that intervened and began naming failures upon failures, and called us to become an organization and leaders. We’ve been in the process for six years, and I am still president. I don’t deserve to be. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I am still asked to serve in this capacity.
Everything I despised in other leaders I have replicated in our organization. Many times I have acted precipitously in panic before gathering sufficient data. Many other times I have failed to act at all. If in one circumstance I act too slowly, it seems that I act too quickly in the next. Leadership feels like playing the slot machine in a casino. You put your best capital into the machine, pull the lever, watch the wheels spin, and come up empty handed. The question lingers: what am I doing wrong?
My colleagues and I have gone through enormous heartache and tremendous change. We are still in the middle of profound transformation, and there are days I wonder if I will survive to see the sun rise again. Last night I tossed myself through a midnight aerobics workout that continued to the early side of three o’clock in the morning. I worried, prayed, and worried about personnel matters, finances, future hires, the school’s reputation in the community, tensions among the faculty, and a host of other concerns that zapped my mind like moths flying into a bug light.
No doubt every leader feels the constant and chronic weight of obstacles, but it isn’t one problem or even a whole set that eats our lunch; it’s that each problem requires a response that seldom resolves the issue. Instead, the response simply creates multiple new problems. The weedlike problem seems to have a pod stuffed with countless seeds that will be sown the moment it is pulled, seeds that will result in a host of new weeds. And if that trouble isn’t hard enough to swallow, the real issue is more personal—having to do with the decisions and choices a leader must make, alone. Few decisions are simple. In fact, simple decisions are better called choices.
Do I want to eat now or wait for my wife to get home? Do we cancel classes when there is a foot of snow in Seattle? We make choices every day that require little thought, have few consequences, and are completed without much need for reflection or counsel. Leaders choose daily, but the real weight on their shoulders lies in the need to decide. And there are no easy decisions. To decide requires a death, a dying to a thousand options, the putting aside of a legion of possibilities in order to choose just one. De-cide. Homo-cide. Sui-cide. Patri-cide. The root word decidere means “to cut off.” All decisions cut us off, separate us, from nearly infinite options as we select just one single path. And every decision we make earns us the favor of some and the disfavor of others.
Budgetary decisions, for instance, seldom involve equal distribution of the finite resource we call money. The child who begins college may require most of a family’s disposable income. As a result, the rest of the family can’t take their summer vacation to the mountains. The decision blesses one and alienates others.
A good leader will, in time, disappoint everyone. Leadership requires a willingness to not be liked, in fact, a willingness to be hated. But it is impossible to lead people who doubt you and hate you. So the constant tug is to make the decision that is the least offensive to the greatest number and then to align yourself with those who have the most power to sustain your position and reputation in the organization. Leadership is not about problems and decisions; it is a profoundly relational enterprise that seeks to motivate people toward a vision that will require significant change and risk on everyone’s part. Decisions are simply the doors that leaders, as well as followers, walk through to get to the land where redemption can be found.

FLIGHT IS THE ONLY SANE RESPONSE
There are two common stories I hear from students who come to Mars Hill Graduate School. One group of students will say, “I didn’t want to be here. I was working in Washington DC/Portland/Charlotte/Chicago. I loved my job, my church, and my friends, but in a matter of months my life was turned upside down. It felt like God spun me around, headed me west, and here I am, not really sure why. But I am here, and I sense that this is where I am meant to be.”
The other group will say, “I knew this is where I wanted to study. I heard about the school through a book/a seminar/a student, and I have wanted to be here for years. But since I’ve come, I feel like I’m going through a crisis of confidence. I don’t know if this is really what I am supposed to do. I’m afraid, and I feel crazy for ever thinking I wanted to come here.”
Doubt is the context for surrender. And flight is the path for obedience. When we’re reluctant to lead, doubting ourselves and our call, we are ripe for growth as a leader. Likewise, when we hear the call to lead but we run in the opposite direction, God has a way of having us thrown off the boat, swallowed by a large fish, and spit onto the shore where we are to serve. If the situation weren’t so serious, it would be hilarious. God invites us to run and yet to know that he will arrive at our place of flight before we arrive so he can direct our steps...

Customer Reviews

Sometimes leading God's way gets you martyred...
Dan Allender's _Leading with a Limp_makes for a frustrating review because it packs some excellent insights into a book that leaves out far too much to be helpful. Think of this as the classic that might have been.

How does one lead with a limp?

1. Communicate well
2. Acknowledge your leadership limitations (to yourself and others)
3. Be vulnerable, but do so wisely

Those three ideas comprise the majority of the book.

Many have deemed this a profound work. But as someone who has read similar books (John Powell's books from the '70s immediately spring to mind), I wasn't as taken. If you're the more logical, linear type of person, _Leading with a Limp_ might come as a revelation. But if you're already predisposed to valuing feelings over stark rationality, this book won't break any new ground. You're probably already leading with a limp, and this book may only help you acquire a slightly larger cane.

While _Limp_ has some strong spots expounding on the three core ideas mentioned above, it fails miserably in helping those who have adopted limping leadership but got tarred and feathered for it. Sadly, many in ministry practice much of what Allender advocates, but have been run out of town on a rail for doing so. Allender's examples of how to lead the way he envisions never informs readers how to pick up the pieces should such an experiment in a limping leadership style fail miserably with the led. Trust me; as someone with many years in ministry, Allender's ideas can fail spectacularly. It would have been nice to know how to get back on one's feet after being body-slammed for leading with a limp. That lack hurts this book immeasurably.

Yes, read the book. Meditate on the parts you need to improve, but keep expectations low to middling. In fact, expect an angry, confused, or hostile reaction to this leadership style rather than miracles.

A fascinating look into what it means to be a leader
If you're a leader, you are in for the battle of your life, says Mars Hill Graduate School founder Dan Allender in LEADING WITH A LIMP. The author of numerous books, including THE INTIMATE MYSTERY and TO BE TOLD, Allender warns that leadership is costly and likely will never bring you riches, fame or praise. Rather, Allender likens leadership to a "long march through a dark valley." Is it worth the cost? The costs of leadership include crisis, complexity, betrayal, loneliness, weariness, and interestingly enough, glory --- not particularly what most of us associate with leadership. That's not all. A good leader, Allender writes, will in time disappoint everyone.

So why would anyone aspire to leadership? Allender looks at what a leader is (anyone with someone following him or her). The fact is, God calls all of us to lead, he says, no matter how humble the context. And it is in extremity or your failures that you meet not only yourself but, more importantly, the God who has written your life.

Allender builds the core assumption of his book on this: "to the degree you face and name and deal with your failures as a leader, to that same extent you will create an environment conducive to growing and retaining productive and committed colleagues." Acknowledging your screw-ups transforms your own character and earns you more respect and power, he writes. And these shortcomings must be more than just acknowledged; they must also be dismantled in front of those you lead.

But, Allender warns, most leaders are afraid to name their failures; they have too much pride to admit their faults, and they may be addicted to various substances or behaviors.

The best leaders, he says, are not necessarily those who seek leadership. Rather, the best leaders are plagued with doubts or flee leadership. Sound odd? Reluctant leaders, he says, give power away. They use their own power to make sure power is used fairly. True leaders, he shows, eschew pride and ambition and take joy in helping others achieve their goals and dreams.

He makes other good points. Weakness, he says, is strength. Brokenness is a gift. Chaos can open the doors to opportunity. Leadership involves gratitude and awe. A leader has a hunger for the truth. Busy-ness is moral laziness (an intriguing section is devoted to this idea). It's important to know your story and the stories of those you work with, and understand how they shape you as a leader. There's an excellent section on the need for Christian organizations to realize that firing can be an act of redemption (if handled well) rather than keeping a worker who is ill-suited for a position. All Christian organizations should read this section!

Allender offers tales of leadership failures and fractured relationships from his own life and that of biblical characters. He uses scripture well; it tends to inform the points he makes rather than feel like an afterthought. Allender is also careful to make his book gender friendly. Women, as well as men, will feel included.

However, he sometimes rambles and tends to repeat himself. Occasionally, his examples lack clarity. (Managers, he writes, want to keep the plane in the air; a leader wants to put a new engine on the plane in midair. I was confused!) But if the reader sticks with him through the closing pages, Allender will make his points about leadership, and make them well.

"Every one of your weaknesses is the doorway not only to better character but to leadership dividends so enormous that avoiding the necessary risk is utter foolishness," writes Allender. Leaders who question whether they are suited for the role will find encouragement in Allender's call for recognition that leadership does not mean perfection. A LEADING WITH A LIMP workbook will further aid those exploring their own leadership challenges. Those in leadership positions, or who aspire to be, will find this good advice for the journey.

--- Reviewed by Cindy Crosby (phrelanzer@aol.com)

Provocative
As always, Allender is provocative. Rarely do you find a writer with the boldness to write with such counter-cultural truthfulness, especially in Evangelical Christian circles where "vanilla" is the publishing flavor of choice.

Everyone knows that the character of the leader is central to leadership. However, everyone else seems to highlight the leader's strengths. It's like the job interview candidate's reply when asked, "What are your weaknesses?" Inevitably the candidate shares some "minor flaw" which is then spun into a "real strength." Allender will not stand for such banality.

Instead, he speaks of deep wounds, lifelong limps, and inner weaknesses. Like Jacob after his encounter with God, the leadership limp never dissipates. Rather, it becomes a sign, to the leader and the follower. A sign of God-dependence. Of God-sufficiency.

Another strength of "Leading with a Limp" is Allender's avoidance of yet another tendency in Christian mythology: a hyper-extreme focus on naval gazing negativity. Yes, Allender limps down the path of leadership. However, he also recognizes the resurrection power of Christ. He leaves readers/leaders with hope. Hope that they can cultivate the healing power of Christ. For what purpose? To lead for God's glory and the good of the organization--not to be recognized as the "resilient leader" as if Christian leadership is about self.

"Leading with a Limp" is not your father's (or your mother's) leadership manual. It boldly goes where no leadership book has gone before--inside the limp.

Read it to be humbled and to regain hope.

Reviewer: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., is the author of "Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction," "Soul Physicians," "Spiritual Friends," and the forthcoming "Sacred Friendships: Listening to the Voices of Women Soul Care-Givers and Spiritual Directors."