Product Description

A flat planet traveling through space carried by four elephants balancing on the back of a giant turtle; a world populated by (mostly inept) wizards, dwarfs, despots, policemen, assassins, aged barbarians, vampires, thieves, witches, and civil servants; a place where technology, per se, is nonexistent but magic works . . . except when it doesn't.

Gleaned from more than two decades' worth of Discworld tales, here is an essential compendium of insightful musings, witty commentary, and sagacious observations by New York Times bestselling author Terry Pratchett, compiled by Pratchett expert Stephen Briggs.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #348060 in Books
• Published on: 2008-10-01
• Released on: 2008-10-07
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 384 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780061370519
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Review
“When the least they could do to you was everything, then the most they could do to you suddenly held no terror.” –From, Small Gods

“A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.”
–From, The Fifth Elephant

About the Author

Terry Pratchett's novels have sold more than sixty-five million (give or take a few million) copies worldwide. In January 2009, Queen Elizabeth II made Pratchett a knight in recognition of his "services to literature." Sir Terry lives in England with his wife.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
THE COLOUR OF MAGIC

ON a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There’s an avaricious but inept wizard [Rincewind], a naive tourist [Twoflower] whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and of course The Edge of the planet . . .

How it all began:

In a distant and second-hand set of dimensions, in an astral plane that was never meant to fly, the curling star-mists waver and part . . .

*

There was the theory that A’Tuin had come from nowhere and would continue at a uniform crawl, or steady gait, into nowhere, for all time. This theory was popular among academics.

An alternative, favoured by those of a religious persuasion, was that A’Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating, as were all the stars in the sky which were, obviously, also carried by giant turtles. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds. This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.

*

The twin city of Ankh-Morpork, foremost of all the cities bounding the Circle Sea, was as a matter of course the home of a large number of gangs, thieves’ guilds, syndicates and similar organizations. This was one of the reasons for its wealth.

*

The stranger smiled widely and fumbled yet again in the pouch. This time his hand came out holding a large gold coin. It was in fact slightly larger than an 8,000-dollar Ankhian crown and the design on it was unfamiliar, but it spoke inside Hugh’s mind in a language he understood perfectly. My current owner, it said, is in need of succour and assistance; why not give it to him, so you and me can go off somewhere and enjoy ourselves?

*

If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting ‘All gods are bastards’.

Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant ‘idiot’.

At about this time a hitherto unsuccessful fortune-teller living on the other side of the block chanced to glance into her scrying bowl, gave a small scream and, within the hour, had sold her jewellery, various magical accoutrements, most of her clothes and almost all her other possessions that could not be conveniently carried on the fastest horse she could buy. The fact that later on, when her house collapsed in flames, she herself died in a freak landslide in the Morpork Mountains, proves that Death, too, has a sense of humour.

*

The Patrician of Ankh-Morpork smiled, but with his mouth only.

*

‘I’m sure you won’t dream of trying to escape from your obligations by fleeing the city . . .’

‘I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, lord.’

‘Indeed? Then if I were you I’d sue my face for slander.’

*

‘Ah, Gorphal,’ said the Patrician pleasantly. ‘Come in. Sit down. Can I press you to a candied starfish?’

‘I am yours to command, master,’ said the old man calmly. ‘Save, perhaps, in the matter of preserved echinoderms.’

*

There are said to be some mystic rivers – one drop of which can steal a man’s life away. After its turbid passage through the twin cities the Ankh could have been one of them.

*

That’s what’s so stupid about the whole magic thing . . . You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you’re so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old grimoires that you can’t remember what happens next.

*

Death, on Discworld, is a character in his own right, and throughout the series is recognizable by always speaking IN BLOCK CAPITALS.

Death, insofar as it was possible in a face with no movable features, looked surprised. RINCEWIND? . . .WHY ARE YOU HERE?

‘Um, why not?’ said Rincewind.

I WAS SURPRISED THAT YOU JOSTLED ME, RINCEWIND. FOR I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THEE THIS VERY NIGHT.

‘Oh no, not—’

OF COURSE, WHAT’S SO BLOODY VEXING ABOUT THE WHOLE BUSINESS IS THAT I WAS EXPECTING TO MEET THEE IN PSEUDOPOLIS.

‘But that’s five hundred miles away!’

YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME, THE WHOLE SYSTEM’S GOT SCREWED UP AGAIN. I CAN SEE THAT.

*

I’LL GET YOU YET, CULLY, said Death, in a voice like the slamming of leaden coffin lids.

*

Death sat in His garden, running a whetstone along the edge of His scythe. It was already so sharp that any passing breeze that blew across it was sliced smoothly into two puzzled zephyrs.

*

‘Run away and leave Hrun with that thing?’ Twoflower said.

Rincewind looked blank. ‘Why not?’ he said. ‘It’s his job.’

‘But it’ll kill him!’

‘It could be worse,’ said Rincewind.

‘What?’

‘It could be us,’ Rincewind pointed out logically.

*

‘We’ve strayed into a zone with a high magical index,’ Rincewind said. ‘Don’t ask me how. Once upon a time a really powerful magic field must have been generated here, and we’re feeling the after-effects.’

‘Precisely,’ said a passing bush.

*

‘You don’t understand!’ screamed the tourist, above the terrible noise of the wingbeats. ‘All my life I’ve wanted to see dragons!’

‘From the inside?’ shouted Rincewind.

*

‘You’re your own worst enemy, Rincewind,’ said the sword.

Rincewind looked up at grinning men.

‘Bet?’ he said wearily.

*

‘Well,’ said the voice. ‘You see, one of the disadvantages of being dead is that one is released as it were from the bonds of time and therefore I can see everything that has happened or will happen, all at the same time except that of course I now know that Time does not, for all practical purposes, exist.’

‘That doesn’t sound like a disadvantage,’ said Twoflower.

‘You don’t think so? Imagine every moment being at one and the same time a distant memory and a nasty surprise and you’ll see what I mean.’

I’d rather be a slave than a corpse.

Plants on the Disc, while including the categories known commonly as annuals, . . . and perennials, . . . also included a few rare reannuals which, because of an unusual four-dimensional twist in their genes, could be planted this year to come up last year. The vul nut vine was particularly exceptional in that it could flourish as many as eight years prior to its seed actually being sown. Vul nut wine was reputed to give certain drinkers an insight into the future which was, from the nut’s point of view, the past. Strange but true.

*

‘We know all about you, Rincewind the magician. You are a man of great cunning and artifice. You laugh in the face of Death. Your affected air of craven cowardice does not fool me.’ It fooled Rincewind.

*

‘What is your name?’ he said.

‘My name is immaterial,’ she said.

‘That’s a pretty name,’ said Rincewind.

*

‘I hope you’re not proposing to enslave us,’ said Twoflower.

Marchesa looked genuinely shocked. ‘Certainly not! Whatever could have given you that idea? Your lives in Krull will be rich, full and comfortable—’

‘Oh, good,’ said Rincewind.

‘—just not very long.’

Customer Reviews

Impoverished in an Embarrassment of Riches
The problems with selecting the best Pratchett quotes are that no one agrees on which are the best and there are too many to include them all. So while there aren't any bad Pratchett quotes, it's annoying to find your favorites aren't included in this compilation.

As just one example, the selections from "Soul Music" omit both the "felonious monk" pun - maybe the best pun in Pratchett - and "we're on a mission from Glod." I mean, reasonable minds can differ, but what can Briggs have been thinking? Maybe that's the best way to describe the problem with this book: what was Stephen Briggs thinking? Which is why I give this effort only two stars, the lowest rating I've given any Pratchett-related product. And it goes deeper than that. Many of the quotes in this compilation are only amusing in context. Lifted from context, they can be a little flat. So who is this written for? Folks who haven't read the books will be bewildered, unamused and disappointed. Hard core fans will disagree with and be annoyed by the selections. It's hard to see the target audience.

I respect Mr. Briggs' dramatizations of Pratchett's novels, and his various editions of "Discworld Companion." But this effort falls flat. Notably, it does not contain an introduction from Pratchett, unlike some of the other non-canon books. Perhaps that omission is a comment all by itself.

The bottom line: read the books. Read all the books. They are a lot more fun, and you can decide for yourself what's witty and wise. Recommended only for those who want to keep their Pratchett libraries complete.

Wit & Wisdom, Cut Me Own Throat
Steven Briggs, the man behind the Discworld maps and stage versions of the Discworld stories and the Discworld Companion, has compiled in this single volume many of the funniest -- and wisest -- moments from the whole series of Discworld novels, all the way from "The Color of Magic" to "Making Money" (and including the four "youth" books). I say "many" moments, not all, because to do that, as Briggs says in his foreword, he might as well have tied a set of all the Discworld novels up with a ribbon. Some jokes, Briggs tellsus, would not fit in this compilation because too much context was required, and the judgment of what is most funny is too subjective for everyone to agree. But any Discworld fan can be assured that at least many moments happily remembered make their appearance in "The Wit & Wisdom of Discworld" (and, if the fan is like me, some moments you have forgotten). Excerpts range from single sentences to several paragraphs, and occasionally Briggs supplies a comment or two of background to explain what the joke is about. The excerpts are arranged in chapters, one for each novel. And there is even an index in which you can look up such things as "witches: Omnians and," and "Vetenari, Havelock, Lord (Partrician of Ankh-Morpork): tyranny in practice".

The book makes for wonderful browsing, or reading straight-through. And it makes you want to go back and read the novels themselves again.

THE WIT AND WISDOM OF DISCWORLD by Terry Pratchett
Stephen Briggs has compiled a selection of quotes and passages from every Discworld book through MAKING MONEY. As Terry Pratchett is known for his clever sentences, puns and jokes, this may seem like a great idea.

Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work. In the context of the Discworld novels, most of these passages are witty and humorous. Piled together here and ripped kicking and screaming from narrative context, it seems overmuch, and many passages end up giving the reader a "you had to be there" kind of feeling. Timing is everything with humor, but here, it's all out the window.

This is not to say there is no value here. Pratchett's cleverisms are certainly worthwhile and enjoyable. However, fans of Discworld are better off sticking with the novels, and those who are new to Discworld won't get it. Nor should they be expected to.

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