Product Description

What’s the Southern woman’s favorite brand of mayo? Why do we have to keep a “funeral casserole” in the freezer? Why do Southern men call their fathers “Deddy” no matter how big and powerful they’ve become?

Step into the wacky world of “womanless wedding” fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word “snow” sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else.

What’s the Southern woman’s take on Wonderbras, fried turkeys and ‘tater guns, Barbie and Ken (tip: she’s a ho), politicians (tip: they’re all hos) and marital success (if you can’t agree on a perfect pizza ratio, y’all are doomed)?

Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern – and just plain human – foibles, up-close and personal.

So pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and curl up on the pie-azza with Bless Your Heart, Tramp.

If you’re a Southerner, you’ll understand. If you’re not – well, God help you.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #882570 in Books
• Published on: 2000-11
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 204 pages

Review

From the Back Cover

About the Author

Customer Reviews

Tell it like it is, sister!
Move over, Sweet Potato Queens and Ya-Ya Sisterhood. There's a new girl in town. Sister Celia tells it like it is. As a self-proclaimed Deddy's girl and former recipient of the Amish Friendship Bread Starterk, I can tell you that Misseriz Rivenbark's descriptions of redneck women ("the object of her desire, a stringy, tatooed, shirtless lser, lurched out of the sotre, grinning drunkenly") and Southern Bridal Mothers ("no more tenacious, single-minded and utterly obnoxious creature on this earth") are dead-on. Her penchant for explaining inexplicable Southernisms (womanless weddings, snow-induced bread-buying) makes this collection of wonderings an education in paperback. Not to worry, Ms. Rivenbark doesn't limit her eagle-eye observations solely to the South but touches on life as all god's chillren know it...above or below the Mason-Dison...by pondering many of society's most pressing issues: Where DID Lorena Bobbitt ever find a knife THAT sharp, for instance. It is truly a joy to enter Rivenbark's world with sports-crazed hubby (affectionately known as her favorite Martian), Tinky-Winky loving toddler Sophie, Hairdresser Branda and Snowball the indredible cat. Picking up the book is like finding a new girlfriend...only this time, you can hear from her only when and if you want.

Really Good Stuff Here
I was shocked to see only a handful of reviews of this book. Celia is a writer who deserves much more exposure for her witty brand of southern common-sense humor. Her writing is very down-to-earth and is garanteed to garner several full-belly laughs. With the success of other southern humorists such as Jeff Foxworthy, this book should be much more widely-read.

Mama Celia knows best!!
After reading and loving 'We're Just Like You Only Prettier', I couldn't wait to read this book. My local library just got the new re-print edition (finally!), and I was the first to check it out!

Mrs. Rivenbark is hilarious with all her southern advice! I couldn't stop laughing at all her horror stories, like making sure your child has the EXACT toy he needs in his happy meal, or else the poor woman at the window is gonna get an ear full...or how when your husband is sick, the world stops and the man needs a bell, but when YOU'RE sick you still have a house to clean and children to feed. And one of my favorites was her introduction to Victoria's Secret Wonder Bra!

If you're looking for a light, fun read, then definitely pick up one of Mrs. Rivenbark's books. They'll absolutely have you laughing-out-loud! I can't wait wait to read her newest book, 'Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like A Skank'! Hopefully my library will be a little more on-the-ball this time!