Product Description

It’s Time to Fight Right

If you’re involved with one or more people in a continuing relationship, you can bank on one thing for sure: there will be conflict. Are you married? You will disagree. Are you single and living with parents or roommates? You will have different opinions. Do you work with clients or co-workers? You will face friction. Whenever there is conflict, you will either hurt (even destroy!) one another, or you will build up each other and benefit from the experience. It all depends on whether you fight wrong or fight right. Let Will Cunningham, in his refreshingly creative fashion, show you how to turn any disagreement into a winning situation—every time.

How Family Fights Resemble Athletic Events:

Most take place on weekends (typically Sundays)

Two or more opponents gather in one place

Participants are in it to win

Friction-free households do not exist. While you can’t avoid a family feud, you can make disagreements constructive, rather than destructive!

Enter: a referee with a whistle. An honest scoreboard. The home court advantage. Will Cunningham’s How to Win a Family Fight reveals less about how to crush your opponent, and more about how to strategize a win. Discover the who, what, where, when, why, and—most important—the how of constructive confrontation. You’ll swing open the door to greater harmony, honest communication, creative solutions, and deeper respect for one another.

The key difference between a family fight and your favorite sport: If you set out to win, you’ll lose in the long run. So set out to win…er, lose…and let this book help!





We don’t choose in-laws; we inherit them in the same way we inherit the smell of a car we buy.



Story Behind the Book

“This book sprang from a premarital class that Cindy and I taught in the mideighties. We were honestly just trying to convey information without boring our students to sleep! The class was a tremendous success. When Gary Smalley caught wind of it and encouraged me to shape my thoughts into a book, I was somewhat skeptical. Having hardly recovered from all the books I had to read in seminary, I didn’t want to write one, much less wish the burden of reading on any other poor soul. But when Don Jacobson convinced me that I could offer readers a new perspective on their patterns of family conflict, we published the first edition of this book, and I am still teaching its content. Now this revision specifically meets today’s audience.”

—Will Cunningham

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #252991 in Books
• Published on: 2006-06-01
• Released on: 2006-06-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 240 pages

About the Author
Will Cunningham is the director of K-Kaua‘i, the newest member of camps in the Kanakuk Kamp family. Having directed K-Kountry for eight years and counseled professionally since the mid-1980s, Will is the author of four books, including It Happened at the Sunset Grille (Nelson, 1993), Letters from the Other Side (Nelson, 1995), and Sins of the Fathers (Nelson, 1997). Will and his wife, Cindy, live in Branson, Missouri, with their two teens, Wes and Peter. He enjoys guitar, tennis, weightlifting, fishing, and hanging out with his family.

Customer Reviews

A light and funny book on dealing with family

Novelist Will Cunningham takes an engaging look at conflict in HOW TO WIN A FAMILY FIGHT, a light and funny self-help book updated from the original more than two decades ago.

Cunningham uses three components --- stories, Jesus and vulnerability --- to frame his advice. Whats changed in two decades? Cunningham says he keeps the same core guidance principles in the new edition, but gives his writing a makeover. He targets his advice to couples and parents, but this is a book that is general enough to be used by anyone who has ever had a disagreement with someone else.

Theres not a lot of new information here - just plain common sense - and good reminders for anyone about fair fighting. I particularly liked the Too Many Players on the Field section, which offers these three insights about fighting:

1) Dont appeal to parental opinions or preferences to support your side in a conflict.
2) Dont give in to the temptation to share the dirty laundry with an outsider, such as a parent or friend.
3) Dont draw your children into the middle of a spousal conflict in an effort to beat the other person.

I also enjoyed his thought, One of my goals in life is to live in such a way that I have stories to tell eight-year-olds. A great reminder to pay attention, not get overly busy with things to do, and keep a fresh, interesting perspective on how we go about life. I also appreciated his suggestion to be students of our loved ones. In other words, learn how your child or spouse thinks and it will go a long way toward conflict resolution.

For those readers who like self-help books, be warned: Cunningham usually takes one good piece of advice (Become aware of those times when your fuse is the shortest, listening requires understanding) and wraps it in a long funny story or two. He enjoys tangents and rabbit trails that can be fun, but if you want to get to the point quickly, this will not be your book. If you like stories, youll feel right at home.

Cunningham also uses a lot of sports metaphors (offsides, delay of game, backfield in motion: bringing up the past to win a fight) and macho-type anecdotes (eating hot peppers on a dare, boxing someone who was taunting him) that will appeal to some readers and not so much to others. His reason? Every family fight is like a sporting event. There are two opponents. Both want to win. And most of your fights happen on the weekend. Im a woman who loves most sports, but still feel that the tone of this book will appeal more to men than women, or perhaps makes it a good book for women to give to their husbands. Although he only briefly alludes to his views on men and rulership in marriage, his conclusions may inspire some discussion from egalitarian readers.

Cunningham doesnt say that readers will quit fighting. Rather, he offers encouragement that you will fight in a better way, as he and his wife Cindy now do. We are fighting more as a team now, Cindy and I --- more like players who love each other instead of suspect each other. Our fights are shorter, softer, fewer and further between. We seem to be gaining ground as a team does that is moving down the field Up ahead is the goal line, bright and eternal.

If you cant seem to break the cycle of fighting in your marriage, then youll appreciate Cunninghams solid tips on ways to make conflicts resolvable, and to have less of them.

--- Reviewed by Cindy Crosby. Contact Cindy at phrelanzer@aol.com.