Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #6444 in Books
• Published on: 2003-02-01
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 352 pages

From Library Journal
An interpersonal communications specialist, Evans (The Verbally Abusive Relationship) has written a timely book that not only helps readers free themselves from controlling types but also seeks to explain the occurrence of verbal abuse, battering, stalking, harassment, hate crimes, gang violence, tyranny, terrorism, and territorial invasion. What she calls a "compelling force" overcomes these controllers; because they sense the overwhelming "psychic pain, distress, and discord permeating the world," they must impose a twisted kind of order on their friends, lovers, and acquaintances. Often, she continues, people with good intentions end up doing the opposite of what they would need to do to realize a goal or fulfill a need. This is a compelling work, but it belongs in the hands of counselors; lay readers who feel controlled will find it worthwhile but hard going. Public and academic libraries with special collections on relationships should also strongly consider. Susan E. Burdick, MLS, Reading, PA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Customer Reviews

Gender biased, unscientific and presents half the story
The author is gender biased. The examples in the book present men as controlling, women as victims.

Here's the recurring two sentences from the book,
repeated time and time again:
"One of my clients was struggling with HER controlling husband."
Or
"One husband, a client of mine, needed help dealing with his angry, controlling behavior."

I can't recommend this book, because it implies women are the victims, never the controllers. In my own life, i see examples of both men and women controlling others.

The author never discusses passive agressive controlling behavior. She only discusses verbal, angry outburst behavior.

I find the examples highly biased. And since the author only deals with male forms of control, she inadequately describes controlling behavior, because she only studies one half of the human population.

Great, non-judgemental approach
This book has helped me recognize controlling behaviors of people in my life; not only those close to me, but in work situations also. It has been a good tool in helping me deal with these situations.

Understand what is happening
Intelligent, informative and accessible. Once you understand what is happening, you can respond appropriately. If you are an abuser, understand what is driving your emotions. This is a helpful book.