The Truth About Rape
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Imagine living more fully … loving more intensely and feeling healthier … perhaps for the first time since your rape. Being unafraid … even confident … in your own skin and being able to anticipate, even put an end to, your nightmares and flashbacks.
What if I told you I can help you develop the ability to foresee and control the triggers that cause you anxiety?
Imagine feeling as if you’re not alone and isolated anymore, living a life without shame and without guilt. Knowing where … and how … to find inspiration, motivation, and dedication as you recover. Imagine an end to your struggles and frustration … and experience clarity of mind and the ability to focus even more acutely than you did prior to your rape …
I promise you one thing about The Truth About Rape: This isn’t a book that leaves you on your own. I interviewed over 40 women who share with you their obstacles in recovery and teach you new ways to approach your recovery … ways that will radically change the way you feel about yourself.
You’ll feel as if you’re having a discreet conversation with trusted friends in these women and send your recovery soaring. Like Eleanor, 33, who talks about her own experience with a cutting-edge therapy that you’ve likely heard much about lately. Or gain insight from hearing how Kate, 44, struggled with, and found her own answer to one of the most confusing for rape victims: "How could God let this happen to me?" And you’ll read how Allison, 26, conquered her inability to concentrate and relearned to focus her energy after her rape.
But emotional and spiritual issues aren’t the only ones discussed. We also talk about physical and sexual issues as well. For example Melina, 30, talks about learning she had an eating disorder and Janice, 33, discusses overcoming her nerves in talking to her OB/GYN about her rape.
Books on rape rarely address a woman’s sexuality following her rape, but I feel strongly that intimacy concerns must be a part of the healing process and so invite you to read about how Carol, 32, told her husband she was ready to make love again and how Martha, 43, achieved a fulfilling sex life, even though she suffered from chronic pain from the rape. And for each of these questions, I’ve included a clinical view as well.
There are truths to recovery to be sure … truths I wish I’d known. Knowing would have saved me many years of tears, heartache … and insecurity. "But what are these truths?" You may ask. "There’s nothing I can do about what’s happened to me!"
You’re correct … to a degree. There’s nothing any of us can do about our past … but we can control our future and how we perceive what’s happened to us. And this is where these truths come in …
The first truth I’d like to share with you ... you’re not alone in your recovery
The first section of The Truth About Rape is my own journal … 50 excerpts from actual therapy sessions. You’ll discover through these sessions that not only are not alone, there’s someone in the world who truly understands. But that’s not the most powerful part of this truth: You’ll learn through my personal sessions with my therapist how to confide in others and gain empathy and compassion by better communicating your feelings and needs …
Being able to read these sessions are invaluable; the ability to sit in on a therapy session is extremely rare and an incredible opportunity to learn what goes on behind closed doors …
The second truth I’d like to share with you … whether you’re seeing a therapist or on your own, recovery is within reach
Healing from sexual assault sometimes feels as if you’re taking one step forward and one step back, but the important thing is that you’re taking a step. I wrote this book so that it’s really easy to read. You can pick it up, turn to question that you need an answer to, read it for a couple of minutes if that’s all the time you have … put it back down. Sometimes you just need an answer to a question. If you’re in therapy, that’s ok … there are many therapists using my book as a guide and if you’re not in therapy, that’s ok too; I’ve included an additional 600 resources.
The third truth I’d like to share with you… every question you have has an answer
One of my biggest struggles when I wrote this book was how to answer the many questions that I had following my rape. When you’re trying to recover, you can’t image that there are others who’ve experienced the same thing … and survived … but I assure you there are many who have.
Like I said, through over 40 questions and answers (with both a personal perspective of a rape victim and my clinical view) you’ll feel as if you’re having a discreet conversation with a trusted friend in the women you’ll find in The Truth About Rape.
And we answer emotional, spiritual, physical, and sexual questions and concerns like …
* Have you ever wondered why you’re thinking of the rape all the time and just can’t seem to get over it? There are very real reasons that you have this response to a traumatic experience and you’ll be surprised to know that it’s a form of protection and really a benefit to your emotional health in the long run. I’ll tell you why …
* Do you wonder what kind of man could do this and want to learn how to never let it happen again? I can’t guarantee … in fact, no one can … that you’ll never be a victim of crime again, but I can share with you behavioral signs to look for in strangers and acquaintances that alert you to the possibility of something happening …
* Do you suspect you might be suffering from an eating disorder following your rape? I can share with you the symptoms of three major eating disorders … the reasons eating disorders are so prevalent in women who’ve experienced sexual assault … and what you can do to help yourself if you suspect an eating disorder …
* Have you noticed a profound shift in your attitude and feelings about sex? I compassionately answer many of your most pressing and intimate questions here in an entire section devoted to your sexuality concerns after your rape. And, I reveal a number of common issues that can arise after rape that can be easily resolved …
* Do you want desperately to share your experience with your loved ones and have them understand what you have been through? You deserve empathy from those you love during this time. I help you figure out the best way for you to confide in your spouse, lover, family and friends.
And the last truth I’d like to share with you? It’s probably the most important: If I Can Do It, You Can Too Why do I say this? It’s not just a cliché … I’m deadly serious about recovery. My own personal experience mirrors many of my readers … perhaps yours … and I’ve dedicated my professional life, following graduation from the University of San Francisco with a masters degree in Counseling Psychology, to primarily pro bono work to ensure I help as many women recover … and fully heal from … their rape as possible.
I know recovery is possible. Please … don’t let another moment go by without taking charge of your recovery … and your future. You are not alone in your recovery …
Product Details
- Amazon Sales Rank: #537731 in Books
- Published on: 2002-03-21
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Paperback
- 327 pages
Editorial Reviews
Review
"Incredibly well written, sensitive and informative; your book is fantastic." -- Aphrodite Matsakis, Ph.D.,Clinical Psychologist
Author of
From the Author
There's no doubt in my mind that your rape was one of the most traumatic experiences of your life. It's likely that you have experienced, or are continuing to experience many emotions that have you confused and frightened. There are words that I can say to you to make you feel better – momentarily. But for your own recovery, you must become knowledgeable about what your rape has meant to you personally and learn the effect that it has had on your own life.
I believe "The Truth About Rape" can help you by providing empathy and understanding along with specific strategies for recovery. Valuable insight from other rape victims who wish to share their experience in order to alleviate another's suffering and over 600 resources round out the information.
From the moment I was raped a number of years ago I searched for others who would understand the intensity of this intrusion in my life. I’ve been unbelievably fortunate in finding these people in my life and so continue in their honor. As they were there for me, I am here for you. Through each therapy session I share, through each strategy for your recovery that I’ve carefully researched and penned, I am with you in spirit as you begin your recovery.
Customer Reviews
Superby writing; poor choice of cover photography
I've loaned this book to quite a few clients who find it very helpful. To be honest, though, most of my clients skip the first half of the book which are transcripts and recollections of therapy sessions. But the second half of the book is a series of brief and accurate answers to direct questions about rape recovery. I like this section particularly, because it is arranged to only one question/answer per page, so the reading is fast and it's easy to navigate. The writing is clear and clinically well-informed.
I took a star off because of the unfortunate cover. My clients have been unanimously embarrassed by the eroticized color photo of a nude female model, crouched over so submissively. This image does NOT match the classy and empowered writings of the author. It's been such a problem that clients would refuse to even accept my offer of this book until I taped a sheet over the book like a dust jacket. Which (male) graphics design editor thought a burlesque nude photo would be a good match for this book?
Don't be fooled or dissuaded--this is a top-notch book with superb information.
Thank You...........
Thank you Teresa for your insight, sensativity and your honesty. This book is a tool for everyone, victim, survivor, family and friends can all benefit from the insight and information provided. This books not only acknowledges the tremendous emotional and physical impact rape has on a woman but it reminds us of our capacities to endure and rise above.
Thank you!!
Very helpful
Dr. Lauer,
Thank you so much for writing this book. Thank you for answering questions I was afraid to ask or didn't even know I had. Thank you for sharing your own story and helping me, and many others I'm sure, to have the courage to do the same.
-Christy




