Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #6484 in Books
• Published on: 1993-04
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 231 pages

Customer Reviews

unsettling, worth reading, and very worth questioning
I am the adoptive mother of a four year old and and the bio mother of a 2 and half year old.
There are some interesting and helpful stories in here, but I am very concerned how the author takes her experience as first an adoptive mother, and then a biological mother, and assumes that she speaks for all adoptive parents.
I think she might not have dealt with her own infertility..because there is a really OBNOXIOUS statement in the books where she says "..and for those of use who are biological mothers, only we can know.." that doesn't ring true for me and friends I spoke to who have given birth.
From a scientific standpoint, her sample size and data analysis are quackery.
So, she is a psychologist> Big deal. So is Dr. Phil .
In an update version of the book, she states with certainty that any child born via a surrogate mother will have primal wound..a child who was in the NICU, and she is starts to hint that she believes children whose mother work full time are going to have a primal wound as well.

I am surprised that no one is addressing her inclusion of those children into this category as well.

She reminds me of a psychology student how happens upon a hypothesis or theoretical model and applies it broadly to everything.

Shy? Adopted
Perfectionist? adopted
Have Add? Adopted
Gay? adopted
Atheist? adopted
trouble with relationships? Adopted
trouble with change? adopted
Needy? adopted
Independent? adopted
Gregarious? adopted
sexually promiscious? adopted
drug addiction? adopted
never leave home? adopted
got a divorce? yup, you guessed it, its all because you were adopted

Certainly, seperation from your first mother is a trauma of some sort, but whether it explains the constellation of human behaviors she attributes it to, come on, lady!

Also, so adoptive parents might never be good enough? Parenting is a humbling experience, and I don't know if anyone of us will ever be enough ! To assume that your biological connection to your child guarantees an absence of pain or trouble is pretty ridiculous.

Wow amazing and wonderful book!
Simply amazing and wonderful book for anyone involved in the adoption triad. Opened up my eyes to things I never thought of before. Thank you for publishing this book. It is a hard read at times, but a must read.

excellent book
this book is great for individuals or families who have struggled or are struggling with adoption issues.