Product Description

Real-world advice for when your twins' and multiples' concerns go beyond "Should they dress alike?"

Should your twins be placed in the same homeroom at school? Does one of your kids have a harder time making friends than the other? How healthy is competition among your triplets? Christina Baglivi Tinglof, author of Double Duty and a mother of twins, expertly guides you through your kids' school years, from the first days of kindergarten to the always drama-filled years of high school.

Drawing from the latest cutting-edge research and hundreds of parent-tested tips, Tinglof offers proven advice to:

• Encourage individuality
• Foster positive sibling relationships
• Discipline effectively
• Deal with one child developing faster than the other
• Manage common speech and reading difficulties

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #94581 in Books
• Published on: 2006-12-20
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 256 pages

Review
Mother of twins Christina Baglivi Tinglof, the author of the popular, Double Duty: The Parents' Guide to Raising Twins, offers proven advice and parent-tested tips for parents of twins and higher order multiples who are entering their school-age years. From kindergarten to high school, twin children face unique challenges and opportunities. As parents encourage individuality of their twins, they must consider how to handle speech and reading difficulties, encourage positive relationships between the twins and other siblings, and manage effective discipline. Tinglof also offers advice on how to respond and encourage when one child develops faster than the other, and manage competition between the children. A major issue for many parents of multiples is the question of whether twins should be placed in the same classroom as the other. Tinglof offers helpful suggestions and strategies on this important topic, and provides assistance in making the best education decisions. Changing family relationships are also discussed by Tinglof, for as the twins grow and mature, their relationships between each other and their siblings, and parents, will change. Fairness and favoritism is a key topic that Tinglof explores, offering insightful observations and advice on parenting behavior that does have consequences. Parents of twins growing beyong their toddler years will find this book to be a useful tool in their decision making process. --Twins Magazine, 2008

This book addresses an exceptional array of situations encountered by multiples and their families. Chapters are devoted to understanding the twin relationship, developing identity, and promoting individuality. Discipline and education issues are each explored in depth. Competition and cooperation as well as fairness and fighting favoritism are discussed. Relationships between parents, siblings, and the multiples are addressed with honesty and openness. There is also a chapter devoted to that wonderful stage--puberty! Throughout the book readers will gain insight from the 'parent-to-parent' dialogue. Information is drawn from both scientific literature and interviews with parents of multiples. Burning questions that parents face can be found here, along with some wise and common-sense answers. This easy to read and useful reference will make a tremendous addition to any parent of multiples' personal or club library, and would be a welcome gift to your multiples' school library too. The information within can certainly be shared with anyone who interacts with multiples! Debbie Ciardi, Nov/Dec 2007 -- From The National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs Notebook

This book offers veteran parents of multiples facts and friendly advice on parenting their school-age children between the ages of 5 and 18. As a seasoned writer and mother of three boys, including school-age dizygotic twin boys, Tinglof presents scientific literature and supports it with personal experience and interviews with more than 40 multiple-birth families. The text begins with a general and realistic look at the "intratwin relationship." In particular, the twin bond is demystified and defined as a "high access" sibling relationship. Tinglof explains that a multiple-birth set's shared gestational and developmental environments result in the formation of an "influential and intense sibling alliance." At the same time, she communicates that differences---physical, psychological and social--- are inherent to all multiple-birth sets. This point is emphasized with the fact that while monozygotic (identical) twins have the exact same genetic make-up, they have dissimilar gestational environments that render them different from the get-go. The theme of twins being simultaneously the same and different resonates. The majority of the text addresses multiple-birth specific topics. Accordingly, there is a chapter on identity and individuality, discipline, education, competition and cooperation, fairness and fighting, and puberty. Multiple-birth families with single-born children will be partial to the final chapter, as it explores the family dynamics inherent to these complex units. Within each chapter, Tinglof explores the topic in general and then within the context of twin-type. Tinglof is careful to communicate that while norms exist for each twin-type, individual differences are widespread. Tinglof's focus is squarely on the social development of multiples and their broader family system. Ultimately, her goal is to advise parents on how to help their multiple-birth children balance their individual and multiple-birth selves. She does this by offering parenting recommendations in each chapter. Tinglof recognizes that the implementation of recommendations is not easy, since parents are often required to support two or more people in conflicting roles. The paradoxical parenting task of encouraging one child without diminishing the other is often called upon. Specifically, parents are counselled to provide each child with separate belongings, along with a place to store them. Separate physical places are also advised. She is clear that these places do not have to be formal. Staggered schedules and makeshift room dividers are examples of practices that can support this objective. To foster strong and separate identities, parents are encouraged to take many individual photographs of each child along with the usual array of "group" photos. For the same purpose, parents are counselled to ensure that their multiples are dressed differently, thus encouraging others to relate to them as individuals rather than as a unit. Likewise, friends and family are to be told to limit/eliminate comparisons. Of course, cherishing the multiple-birth experience along with its intrinsic rewards is communicated. The intricate and delicate act of harmonizing extremes is required at all times. Thus, while parenting twins---or being a twin, for that matter---is not easy, it is always inspiring. Dr. Audrey Huberman, Oct 2007 -- From Multiple Moments (Multiple Births Canada)

From the Back Cover

Real-world advice for when your twins' and multiples' concerns go beyond "Should they dress alike?"

Should your twins be placed in the same homeroom at school? Does one of your kids have a harder time making friends than the other? How healthy is competition among your triplets? Christina Baglivi Tinglof, author of Double Duty and a mother of twins, expertly guides you through your kids' school years, from the first days of kindergarten to the always drama-filled years of high school.

Drawing from the latest cutting-edge research and hundreds of parent-tested tips, Tinglof offers proven advice to:

• Encourage individuality
• Foster positive sibling relationships
• Discipline effectively
• Deal with one child developing faster than the other
• Manage common speech and reading difficulties

About the Author

Christina Baglivi Tinglof is the mother of three sons, including school-age twins. She is also a contributing writer for Twins! magazine, founder and editor of www.talk-about-twins.com, and the author of Double Duty, The Organized Parent, and The Stay-at-Home Parent's Survival Guide. She lives in southern California.

Customer Reviews

A volume worth owning
This book fills a gap in the books available on parenting multiples. While there are many books on pre-school and younger twins, there's been a need for a good practical book on school-age multiples. My twin daughters are 13 and I wish this book had been around when they were 5!

I'd recommend this to anyone who has children who are starting school soon or who has specific issues that they'd like to learn more about. It's full of good advice and a very quick read.

Invaluable Resource
I had given up finding books that pertains to raising twins in the bookstore ... they're all for infants, toddlers and preschoolers, which basically has nothing to do with issues that I face with my twins, even at the same age. The books I've found dealt with surface issues such as how to handle sleeping arrangements, bottle-feeding/breast-feeding and so on. Those books rarely talked about prematurity issues, when one has a disability and the other one doesn't and about preschool issues, such as developmental delays and so on. I didn't expect to find any other resource on raising twins after infancy till I heard this one mentioned in another book club.

It is with great apprehension that I picked this book up and I wish I had read this book when my twins were 3! My husband and I had gone back and forth about whether or not to separate them in two different classrooms and whether or not to keep them together or how to deal with certain issues that developmental delays bring. (No, she does not address that issue in here, but a lot of the issues she does address pertain to classroom separation ...) This book has brought a great sense of relief for this mom!

Here is a sampling of the issues she covers in this book:
Understanding the Intratwin Relationship
Developing Identity and Promoting Individuality
Double Discipline (always helpful!)
Multiples and Education

And more.

This is a book that I will not give up till my sons have their own children. It may be outdated by then, but I can assure you that the practical tips that the parents interviewed by Tinglof will still remain common sensical. Maybe you don't need this book, but if you're one of those parents of multiples trying to make sure you're making the right choices, this book is definitely for you. It might just enlighten your way or perhaps give you a different perspective ... whatever it is, it is just a practical book. A keeper.

8/23/08

"A parent must read", says Tonia Tomlin author of Chaos 2 Calm
This is one of two books by Christina Baglivi Tinglof that I have read and loved it just as much as Double Duty! Deciding on your children's education is so important, not just picking out which school but also how your twins or multiples will handle situations. My husband and I have been working on enrolling our twin girls into full-time school and make the decision to keep them together or not has been a challenge. This book is helping us make a decision based on our children's personalities and needs. Any parent faced with the tough decision should read this book today!

Tonia Tomlin
Author of Chaos 2 Calm
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