Product Description

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #100777 in Books
• Published on: 2002-01-07
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 304 pages

From Publishers Weekly
If black Americans are doing better (on a statistical basis) and some commentators downplay the significance of race, why does there remain such interracial tension? New York Times journalist Williams, expanding on a much-talked-about 1997 article, suggests that the problem lies with the "microaggressions" inherent in everyday interactionsAsome intentional, others not. Some examples: the white folk who claim not to see color, Williams notes, often ignore the possibility that blackness can be valued. Meanwhile, no one claims not to see gender. Whites who casually address blacks by their first names don't recognize the long history of demeaning blacks by first-name address. White-run parties at school that don't acknowledge black music leave the black minority uncomfortable. Despite the book's subtitle, this is mostly about black attitudes; white voices are given a chapterAmany say they hate it when blacks turn "innocuous things into a racial guilt trip"Aand Williams and some of her black respondents acknowledge their own episodic racial hostilities. Another chapter gives voice to non-black minorities. Much of this book rings true for the groups interviewedAWilliams's black informants are mostly middle-classA but some of her generalizations seem over the top: for example, that "no respectable black person would ever arrive at a party on time." And sadly, even some examples she cites might be interpreted from opposite directions: is the white who refuses to sit next to a black youth on a two-person subway seat practicing racial hostility, as she suggests, or trying to avoid it? Despite these flaws, Williams's provocative book is sure to stimulate much discussion with its candid depiction of race relations.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist
Never mind the subject of affirmative action, there are a myriad of everyday misunderstandings that occur between black and white Americans that roil race relations. Williams, a reporter for the New York Times, speaks from experience about a range of annoying to dangerous incidences that are caused by the lack of understanding between the races. Williams examines the arenas of the workplace, public places, school, home, social settings, and the media. She recounts incidents from the mundane to the infamous--the Charles Stuart and Susan Smith cases where whites accused fictitious black men of murder and kidnapping when they themselves were guilty. But Williams mostly focuses on daily situations: black people unable to get a cab or service at a restaurant, being followed in a store, or having difficulty selling a home unless they disguise their ownership. Williams also gives whites a say in the awkwardness of interaction between the races for fear of saying or doing something offensive. Revealing, sometimes amusing, look at the sad state of race relations. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Review
"William's provocative book is sure to stimulate much discussion with its candid depiction of race relations." -- Publishers Weekly, July 24, 2000

Customer Reviews

should have had a different title.
im white and i really wanted to look at race relations- an objective look. instead it was more personal than anything else- it even had rants in their from her relatives.
the book was not balanced in the slightest. at the end she admitted that and said she couldnt find any white people "willing to talk." which i think is a load of bs. if you couldnt find any white people with views than DONT GO WRITING A BOOK AND CALLING IT THE LITTLE THINGS THAT ANGER AND DIVIDE RACES- instead call it what it is- THE LITTLE THINGS THAT ANGER AND ANNOY BLACK PEOPLE.

and ps. writing this does not make me a racist. it makes me a person writing a BOOK REVIEW.

Please.
This woman had a chance to make me understand the things I might do to annoy or hurt black people. I was open to hearing an argument and was planning to keep it all in mind and change my ways should they be hurtful to someone.
This woman got my attention and this is what she used her platform to tell me: White people smell, especially their wet hair. Black people think that white people train their dogs to not like blacks,and only attend parties to suck up to someone higher on the social ladder. White people call blacks by ther first names to degrade them. Lady, whites are called by their first names too. It happens to me every day and I am as white as they come. Society is just losing their manners as a whole- it is happening to everyone.
She stated as fact that white people will use any chance they get to prove their superiority over blacks (really? I hadnt even thought of something so foolish- I am not thinking about blacks 24/7 and how I can show them up!)
She said there is a perception that black people are not as smart as whites (I have truly never heard that) and that black people get funky looks from whites when they eat lunch or gather or work at a nice place.. Lady, so do the rest of us. We all get funky looks. How do you know what they are thinking of you? If they are thinking anything at all about you, it is: Black people hate us. I hope this person doesnt hate me too.)

I learned that white people ask black people "who do you know?" at white parties, because there is no way they could be prestigious enough to be a true guest. Wrong, lady. White people ask each other that as well.

This is a book of this one woman's hurt and annoyances at white people (forgive the sp's, I am typing fast) and that is fine, she should be allowed to vent. But as someone else pointed out this book is billed as things the races, not one race, do to hurt each other, not "things whites are surely thinking in their heads, although I have no proof."

She lent one chapter to white's questions on blacks. One question was why do black people lighten their skin and eyes and straighten their hair? She didnt provide any research on that. She simply commented that it didnt mean they were trying to look white. I need to hear more of a psychological background on that, because I am not buying it.

Most of the comments in this book were provided by this woman's friends and family- her niece, nephew, brothers, a few colleagues. She mentions a few focus groups, but for the most part, these are the gripes of her and her friends/family. It was not well researched. I am giving it two stars, because it opened my eyes that black people will pretty much hate me, no matter what I do. Look black people. We dont think less of you. We know you are angry, we can feel it. We might be scared of you sometimes, because we think you hate us, but we do *not* hate you. I do not share the same outlook as my ancestors, as you surely dont share the outlook of OJ Simpson. We desparately want you to know that we really dont sit around thinking of ways to one up you, like this woman says. Trust me, we've got our own problems in our own lives. It is all how you look at it. I could sit there and assume every person who lays eyes on me is looking at me because I am ugly. Or I could change my way of thinking and think they are really looking at me because they think I am pretty.

All I have learned from this woman was that black people are still very, very angry at whites and there is nothing I can really do to fix it. If I even *look* at you, I am giving you a funky look because youre black. If I dont look at you, I am ignoring you because you are black. There is truly nothing I can do. Thanks Mrs Williams, for letting me know there is no hope. I will turn my attentions to something else.

Has grown on me slowly
Firstly, this is a well-written book. It reads easily without feeling as if it was written at a 4th-grade reading level. The first few chapters grabbed me, but gradually I found myself angry at what appeared to be an outright bashing of whites -- and there were certainly those moments. But, although the book wasn't as balanced as it should have been, nor dispersed its criticism fairly (instead of saving the white replies for one chapter in the back), the book does have its merits.

I read this book to get the black perspective and that's what I got. It may not always be fair or right, but it's there, and my eyes were opened.
It doesn't always matter whether someone is correct in their beliefs. Sometimes it just matters to know what those beliefs are.

Now, I would love to see a book that fills the void that this one left. If Lena Williams can voice her gripes towards some of her white peeves, then let's have one that evens the playing field by truly discussing the black counterparts instead of brushing by them aside in one token chapter. (These would be equivalent points in the manner of Ms. Williams: Black people talking and answering cell phones in the movies, walking in the street in front of cars like they own the concrete, mumbling derisive comments under breath when passed on the street, etc.)

In the meantime, I will continue to live out the lessons I've learned here. Instead of avoiding eye contact with people, I make a point now to gaze a split second longer to catch their glimpse and give a friendly nod. I go to the one black furniture salesman instead of the sea of white ones. I take a few extra seconds at the cash register to say something friendly in order to do what little I can to bridge the gap that someone else might have wedged in place. It's the little things that divide and the little things that can mend.