Product Description

"The attitude, "You have no right to say that," fuels almost all social conflicts. Hence, true freedom of speech is the ultimate solution to the problem of teasing and bullying.

Izzy’s "game" gives kids terrific practice in stopping bullying, and helps them understand the secrets of human nature that can help end verbal abuse.

In contrast to most anti-bullying approaches, Kalman teaches kids how to solve problems for themselves and without getting anyone in trouble. "

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #192897 in Books
• Published on: 2005-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 128 pages

From School Library Journal
Grade 6-8 - Kalman shines the spotlight mostly on verbal insults and name calling. His point of view is that, "When victims stop being victims, bullies stop being bullies." He advocates living by the Golden Rule and seeks to empower students by teaching them to turn anger into humor, fear into courage, and enemies into friends through verbal exchanges and body language. Four sections, "Understanding Life," "General Rules," "Some Good Advice," "Specific Situations," and corresponding multiple-choice quizzes organize the themes. Humorous spot drawings are scattered throughout. Kids are discouraged from telling adults that they are being browbeaten unless stealing or extreme physical violence is involved; telling is said to be unhelpful and even counterproductive. The larger picture of bullying outside of the school is explored as well, but there is no discussion of discerning abuse that is mental and emotional from the more easily recognized form of childish insults. This book is not for schools where guns and knives are already prevalent but has some good ideas for quelling youth anger. While letters from schools and quotes from social workers attest to the success of Kalman's ideas, the book would probably be best used by teachers gleaning ideas and passing them on to students, rather than teaching the entire book, which tends to blame the victim and minimize the psychological damage that bullying can cause. - Kelly Czarnecki, Bloomington Public Library, IL
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review
"Easy to read and practical guide on how Victims can break behavior patterns seemingly deeply entrenched" -- Dr. Bernie Stein, President of the International School Psychology Association, 1999-2001

Empowers victims of bully behaviors to move to a higher ground, a safer place where they can't be hurt." -- George Anthony, Director, Peace Dynamics Consultants

Izzy's 6 rules in communication helps me get more of what I need and everyone comes out a winner! -- Ann Elliot L.C.S.W. The Lighthouse Counseling Center

About the Author
Izzy Kalman has being a school psychologist for 25 years and has developed unique methods to deal with anger and bullying. He currently travels throughout the country training mental health professionals to use his techniques. Izzy has taught thousands of people how to stop being picked on and he can teach you, too.

Customer Reviews

Helpful!
Increasingly our society seems to be growing bullies that are "bigger and badder" than in days past. Izzy Kalman, a school psychologist for twenty-five years, tackles the bully problem with interesting, unique and logical methods in his book Bullies to Buddies: How to Turn Your Enemies into Friends!

Kalman says we act like animals because we are animals-and what differentiates us from lower forms is our souls and our brain capacity. His goal is to teach us how to make bullies our buddies. He believes that if people follow his instruction they will defeat bullies.

The author suggests that people are picked on because they become angry and try to make the bully stop bullying. He indicates that bullies don't really care if someone wears glasses or is overweight. The bully is just "having fun" because what a bully really wants is power, respect and popularity. The bully is testing the person being bullied.

Kalman suggests we think of bullies as sparring partners who will give us practice and train us to win in the "game of bullying." His book includes: 7 rules to turn Bullies into Buddies, dialogues, quizzes and experiments. He also includes topics such as Internet Bullies, Sibling Bullies, Parent Bullies, Teacher Bullies, and When Others are Bullied.

The bottom line seems to be: Take responsibility for yourself. Understand what the bully is doing and why and then change your reaction to the behavior as this will change the bullies' behavior.

This is a simple, logical, straight-forward handbook to help eradicate bullying. This is a workbook that children, parents, teachers and all others who are concerned with the problem can benefit from reading and incorporating into their lives.

Steop bullying by doing nothing
Reviewed by Brad Phelps (age 16) for Reader Views (12/06)

This is one of the best suggestions to stop bullying I've ever heard. Izzy Kalman has showed that you don't really need to do anything. He writes in a way that a kid could relate to. There is at least one picture (usually funny things) on every page, so it helps tie in with the subject.

Izzy Kalman states that to turn bullies to buddies all you need to really do is treat them like your friends. Instead of getting mad at them, ignore them completely or try to use humor, especially on yourself.

But he doesn't just talk about bullies from school; he shows that everyone is bullying everyone all the time. People usually think it's funny to see other people getting hurt or mad, so that's a good reason why people bully you, to get you mad. Also, people want power, and bullies are having power over you.

I would suggest this book to any kid that's in elementary or junior high school. This is a really good way to end the tormenting. But some of Izzy Kalman's suggestions might not work in high school, although the basis of the way to handle the problem might. This book has inspired me to give a speech to an 8th grade etiquette class. I am a junior so I'll be able to give them some good advice and from someone other than a parent or teacher.

So if you're a kid that always getting called names, fighting with your little brother, or getting in arguments with anyone, then read this book. It gives great ways to turn "Bullies to Buddies."

IZZY IS ON TARGET
I have attended Izzy's seminar, read his book on bullying, and had lunch with him. His approach makes sense, works well, and prepares children to live in a democracy. Kudos to Izzy! Keep it going and don't let the misinformed mislead our children. Thanks Izzy-

Dr. Gregory Golden
Reno, NV