Product Description

Making fun of people is a way of life for Jeffrey Ross. Called "an heir apparent to such old-school masters as Buddy Hackett and Rodney Dangerfield" by the New York Times, Ross has memorably and uproariously roasted some of our favorite celebrities, from older-than-dirt Cloris Leachman to dirty old Hugh Hefner, to the beautiful Pamela Anderson and the handsome Bea Arthur. He even claims to have saved Courtney Love's life with his own brutal brand of tough love.

Through his funny and poignant stories, Jeffrey Ross shares the irreverent secrets every successful roastmaster should know, such as: if a roastmaster is going to dish it out, he better be able to take it, and how to use your roasting skills to meet members of the opposite sex. Ross also reveals some tips for toasting your friends and family as well as his secrets for writing roast jokes. One of the world's foremost practitioners of insult comedy, Ross explains how to organize an event, save yourself if you bomb, and prepare yourself to take a punch if necessary. He shares behind-the-scenes stories from his humble beginnings in Manhattan's comedy clubs, where he performed with Jon Stewart, Dave Chappelle, and other up-and-coming comics; to the crazy backstage (and onstage) antics from unforgettable roasts of stars like Flava Flav, Drew Carey, William Shatner, Jerry Stiller, Larry The Cable Guy, and Bob Saget that he helped bring to mainstream television audiences. He has even appeared on ABC's hit show Dancing with the Stars, where he was quickly voted off after the first round -- leading to a war with Jimmy Kimmel Live's Cousin Sal Iacono that was eventually mediated by Tom Cruise over homemade cupcakes.

A hilarious memoir and definitive how-to that will help you channel your own inner roastmaster, I Only Roast the Ones I Love will inspire you to go forth and carry a big schtick.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #13123 in Books
• Published on: 2009-09-15
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 304 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9781439101407
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Review
"If insulting somebody is an art form, then Jeffrey Ross is Pablo Picasso!" -- Chicago Tribune

"I Only Roast the Ones I Love is one of the funniest, most compelling, touching, and controversial books I've ever read. If you love the art of people onstage saying funny insults that make your whole life's work seems like a bunch of crap, then this is the book for you." -- Chris Rock

"Jeffrey Ross has a face for books, and I'm glad he's finally come to terms with that." -- Chelsea Handler

"I Only Roast the Ones I Love is Jeff Ross's most insulting work yet. An indispensable guideto making certain everyone you know hates you. Very, very funny. Jeff's writing is the reason I learned to read." -- Jimmy Kimmel

"Do yourself a favor...get Jeff's book, curl up next to the fireplace...and throw it in." -- Bob Saget

"When Jeff asked me to give a quote for his book, my first thought was to get Jeff Ross to write it. He's incredibly funny and I'm incredibly busy." -- John Mayer

"I've cooked a few meals in my day, but trust me, nobody knows how to cook someone's goose like Jeffrey Ross. He will teach you how to baste and bake all of your family and friends until every relationship is burnt beyond recognition. Ross is a flame-thrower at both ends." -- Rachael Ray

"Don't judge this book by its cover just because Jeff's face is on it." -- Sarah Silverman

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

We All Have an Inner Roastmaster

Our world is full of Roastmasters. Some of them are well known. But most of them are completely unknown. They live amongst us. They live inside of us. They are the part of us that occasionally says out loud what most people only dare think to themselves. The part of us that isn't afraid of severe consequences. The part of us that isn't afraid to die for a laugh. The part of us willing to take a punch from Courtney Love, if necessary.

It is the Roastmaster's belief that gracing someone you admire with unfiltered honesty is the highest form of respect you can pay them -- especially when it's delivered in the form of a well-crafted joke.

Of course, not everyone has the guts to channel their inner Roastmaster. In fact, most people have the good sense NOT to insult people to their faces. Instead, they talk behind people's backs after they leave. They gossip. They whisper. They say mean things. They laugh at the weaknesses of others. This isjust human nature. But a Roastmaster defies human nature. A Roastmaster goes for it. A Roastmaster tells it like it is. A Roastmaster says, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." A Roastmaster kills.Copyright © 2009 by Jeffrey Ross

Customer Reviews

More Than Just a Funny Book
To be honest, I haven't read a lot of books written by comedians. I used to pick them up and flip through the pages and I'd see...a lot of white pages. A lot of empty space. Sometimes a successful comedian's book would simply be a list of zingers and one-liners, a transcript of their act.

Not this book!

I've enjoyed Jeffrey Ross on the Comedy Central Roasts, along with what roast footage I could find online, and I have seen him several times at the local Improv. He's just a funny, funny guy. If he works hard at it, he still makes it look like the easiest thing in the world--a true pro. (And just chatting with him between shows has also shown what a genuinely nice person he really is, despite some of the most frigid insults ever thrown from a dias).

So when I saw his book in the bookstore, I picked it up and skimmed through parts of it. I kept saying, "Oh, I remember that! I remember that too!" But it was also fascinating to hear about what he saw during his most memorable moments.

I bought the book and read it immediately. Numerous times I've laughed out loud. Many times I was even touched when he talked about his family while growing up in New Jersey and how he performs for our soldiers in the field and recovering in hospitals. As if that wasn't enough, the show business anecdotes and personal stories of famous people, especially the older generation of comics like Milton Berle and (Jeff's mentor) Buddy Hackett and the new generation of comedians like Jon Stewart, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silvermann, definitely make this book worth reading.

It's a fast, lean read with some laugh-out loud comedy and some wonderful insights into being a Roastmaster General. But, for now, there's only one.

Loved it.

Better than you'd think
This book is a great read and very well written. And yes, it's laugh out loud funny. It's so much better than I thought it would be. No offense to Jeffrey Ross, but he doesn't seem like he'd have the patience to put sentences together so well. Loved the chapter on New Jersey and the background on The Friar's Club.

Superbly funny and informative for all who want to improve their comedy
Thoroughly enjoyable, well-written, stream of consciousness read. Heartfelt stories from a guy who clearly appreciates his roots, and paid his dues. Enjoyed Jon Stewart anecdote. Read it and learn why Jeff wears that ring. I'd totally do him. If it was really, really dark.