Product Description

The Unprocessed Child is a work of nonfiction about a child raised with no coercion and no curriculum. Laurie Chancey spent her childhood immersing herself in topics of her own choosing. She was never forced to learn something simply because tradition and/or society said it was necessary. No one was looking over her shoulder to make sure she was learning the "proper" subjects.

Having never seen a textbook or taken a test, never used workbooks or any type of teaching techniques, Laurie scored in the top 10% of the state of Louisiana on her college entrance exam. She enrolled in college when she was eighteen, and graduated summa cum laude three and a half years later. Laurie is a bright adult, but her IQ is not why she did so well. She spent her life learning to learn and it’s something that now comes easily to her.

The Unprocessed Child was written by her mother and is full of examples of raising a child with respect and dignity. It is the first book written about a radically unschooled child who has now reached adulthood and is a responsible member of society.

Questions about the radical unschooling lifestyle are answered on topics ranging from socialization, parental responsibility, self-discipline, chores, bedtimes and much more. The book shows that it is not only possible to befriend your child, but that it is highly preferable to the struggles that so many parents go through with their children. It proves that school is not necessary for learning, socializing or motivation.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #440438 in Books
• Published on: 2003-07
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 264 pages

Customer Reviews

Definitely IS an Unschooling Book
I wish the recent disappointed reviewer would read to the end of this book, and perhaps look into some of the rigorous Unschooling discussions that are currently online, instead of making offensive personal judgments like "selfish pig" about a young person she has never met. They could change her thinking and show her that Valerie's family is not unique in their journey. There are hundreds of families engaging in the kind of parenting that Valerie Fitzenreiter so clearly illustrates, that repeatedly demonstrate results that are the exact opposite of what that reader fears: children who joyfully engage in a variety of academic or professional pursuits as they age, happily help out without being asked and actually do more than if they had assigned chores, and consistently become responsible, unselfish and socially conscious people.

I loved this book when I read it because the niche that it fills is that it is a personal story with the always-unschooled child having become an adult, rather than being written by someone whose children are still young ("school age") - although of course these are also valuable contributions to the broader picture of unschooling.

It is certainly true that this book is not a basic primer on how to approach the educational component of unschooling; those useful books also exist. This is Advanced "whole life" Unschooling. It doesn't end with not tutoring math or history. It also means abandoning the idea that children "still need to be taught responsibility and how to respect others" in favor of treating them with deep and genuine respect, modeling responsible behavior, and trusting that they will mirror how they are treated. Many Unschoolers have expanded their thinking past the merely educational, and are also beyond a lot of modern parenting and its discourses. This book is about changing your parenting on a deep thought level. Valerie shows us how she accomplished that, and the fantastic results.

In the wider parenting world the word "limits", or more usually "setting limits", is a buzz word phrase - jargon of supposedly aware parenting, which unfortunately can often be translated into "controlling the children's behavior". "Limits" can mean "what parents tolerate in their comfort zone". Similarly, the term "consequences" is often a euphemistic way of saying "punishments" - even though time outs or grounding or extra chores are orders of magnitude better than old fashioned strategies like screamed insults, shame and guilt, spanking, being sent to bed with or without supper, or being sent off to military school or ensconced in a nunnery.

Another modern parenting idea is "Give your children choices". How could this be problematic for Unschoolers? Well, I recall an episode of a TV talk show, where a very nice modern mother was enthusing about the various strategies she uses for ease of parenting and family life - her big tool was "giving kids choices" that included which color of jacket to put on. For anyone who has been around unschooling for even a little while, it just looks like manipulation. The choices aren't real, they are "practice choices" in situations that are resoundingly trivial, because the idea is to fool the kid into behaving a certain way, and any alternative outside of the two or three parent sanctioned ideas is not "given". Again, a huge improvement over no choices at all and fear-based obedience, but not as enlightened or contented as Unschooling can be.

Unschoolers are usually on a path towards real choices that their children "make" rather than being "given" or "permitted". It becomes about "creating" an environment and lifestyle where the children, and indeed the adults in the family, have the opportunity to make real choices, or dither about making them. A principles-based lifestyle, instead of a hierarchy. This is what Valerie is demonstrating.

It becomes about letting go of the need to ensure that they are "learning from their mistakes" and not have every bad result elucidated for them, as if they were too stupid to notice that they felt cold when they didn't choose any jacket. When consequences are seamlessly obvious, they need not be mentioned.

This way of living lets the thought processes behind choices stay unsullied by the suspicion that the parents are trying to manage and control. It becomes about a parent not being emotionally attached to the free advice they are able to give, when asked. Children actually trust their parents to express only truthful and plausible misgivings, and help brainstorm around those problems.

It means that the parents get to own and express their own varying comfort levels, without the rigid concept of "setting limits". It means that the children don't have to constantly look for the delineation of those limits and test their validity.

Laurie (Valerie's daughter) has discovered that her joy lies in pursuing a life (at the moment) of academic and intellectual achievement. The irony of her becoming so evidently successful by all the usual measures (ie her grade point average), is that some people are apparently irritated by Valerie's immense pride in her daughter, and the enriched life they have made. Would they feel this way about a parent having pride in their regularly parented and schooled child who became valedictorian? What they may be failing to realize is that the pride stems from Laurie having the vision and courage to pursue her individual calling - not what that particular calling has turned out to be. Other people's success will look different.

Many families are engaged in the freedom based life of advanced Unschooling. What they have in common is a greater measure of joy.

Wish I could get my money back...
As a strong proponent of attachment parenting and a rather radical unschooler, this book was a BIG disappointment!!! I bought this book after reading the reviews and wish I hadn't paid more than $1 for it. While the title "The Unprocessed Child" accurately describes Laurie's upbringing, this book shouldn't be grouped with other unschooling literature. The author, while cherishing the close bond she has with her daughter, reminds me of the mother in "Love You Forever" who sneaks across town and climbs into her grown son's room at night to spend time with him--sweet but a bit creepy. The fact that she admits that she even went to college at the same time as her daughter so she could spend more time with Laurie pretty much says it all. The mother clearly has her own issues that I hope she allows herself to work through and heal from now that she's not spending 24/7 with her only child. We have been unschooling each of our four children since birth --challenging temperments and all--and I feel very privileged to spend so much time with them as they discover how exciting it is to decode and discover the world around them. If you want to read a GOOD book about unschooling without unsupported platitudes and preaching in almost every chapter, I would recommend "Homeschooling our Children, Unschooling Ourselves". Those authors offer more balance and eloquence than Ms. Fitzenreiter.

Why I do what I do
I honestly disagreed with about 80% of this book - but it was GREAT! It forced me to think about why I do what I do as a parent and teacher to my kids. Also, the 20% I agreed with had a SERIOUS impact on my parenting. This book teaches a parenting style that is totally child driven which I didn't agree with yet there was so much grace and respect for children as people that I was forced to see where I was not respecting my own kids (much to my own suprise) and how to improve on my relationships with each of my 4 kids. Agree or disagree, this author makes you think about why you do what you do with your kids!