Product Description

Each week, the writers of The A.V. Club issue a slightly slanted pop-culture list filled with challenging opinions (Is David Bowie's "Young Americans" nearly ruined by saxophone?) and fascinating facts. Exploring 24 great films too painful to watch twice, 14 tragic movie-masturbation scenes, 18 songs about crappy cities, and much more, Inventory combines a massive helping of new lists created especially for the book with a few favorites first seen at avclub.com and in the pages of The A.V. Club's sister publication, The Onion.

But wait! There's more: John Hodgman offers a set of minutely detailed (and probably fictional) character actors. Patton Oswalt waxes ecstatic about the "quiet film revolutions" that changed cinema in small but exciting ways. Amy Sedaris lists 50 things that make her laugh. "Weird Al" Yankovic examines the noises of Mad magazine's Don Martin. Plus lists from Paul Thomas Anderson, Robert Ben Garant, Tom Lennon, Andrew W.K., Tim and Eric, Daniel Handler, and Zach Galifianakis -- and an epic foreword from essayist Chuck Klosterman.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #696 in Books
• Published on: 2009-10-13
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 256 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9781416594734
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Review
"Inventory is awesome and will provide you with endless hours of reading and arguing with friends. I love this book, except for page 124. I don't care what anybody says, Bowie's 'Young Americans' sounds terrific with the saxophone. Go f*** yourself, A.V. Club." -- Joel McHale, The Soup

"In a culture that worships the disposable, lazy lists obligatorily put together by self-serving editorial staffs at the likes of Barely Information Magazine, The A.V. Club has decided to embrace what it parodies until it meets itself just outside of heaven and shakes its own hand while flipping itself, and you and me, off. Kudos, A.V. Club!" -- David Cross, Mr. Show and Arrested Development

"I'm going to put this awesome book on my coffee table so when people come over they'll think I'm fun, clever, and sophisticated, but charmingly populist. And when they see my name on the back cover, they'll also think I'm famous!" -- Mindy Kaling, The Office

"Despite the fact that they declined to ask me to participate in this award-winning* book, I bear no ill will toward the writers because they are all geniuses; buying this book will make you feel a genius, too.** (*This book has not won any awards. **No, that was not a typo. I literally meant you would feel a genius.)" -- Michael Ian Black, The State and Michael And Michael Have Issues

"I did look at the book and enjoyed it, but didn't have time to come up with a quote, unless 'Seems like a pretty good book. I had a great time skimming it' works." -- Eugene Mirman, Flight Of The Conchords and The Will To Whatevs

About the Author
A.V. Club was founded in 1995 as the arts-and-entertainment arm of the satirical newspaper and website The Onion. The two brands quickly became distinct from each other, with The Onion providing humor and America's finest news, and the A.V. Club becoming a significant, well-received source for pop culture news and commentary. In recent years, the A.V. Club's web presence has become huge, attracting over a million unique users per month who visit for reviews, interviews, listings, and features on film, television, music, books, and more. Inventory will enjoy contributions from the entire A.V. Club staff, but the primary staff members assigned to the book project are Editor Keith Phipps, Managing Editor Josh Modell, and Associate Editors Tasha Robinson and Kyle Ryan.

Chuck Klosterman is the author Of Fargo Rock City; Sex, Drugs, And Cocoa Puffs; and Killing Yourself To Live. He is a columnist for Esquire and has written for GQ, Spin, The New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, The Believer, and ESPN.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Take One Down, Pass It Around

47 Songs That Contain Lists

1 Paul Simon, "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"
Suggested courses of action: hopping on the bus, slipping out the back, making a new plan.

2 Lucky Starr, "I've Been Everywhere"
Some of the far-flung places the singer has been: Australian locations in the original, North America's Ferriday, La Paloma, Opelika, and Crater Lake (for Pete's sake) in later versions.

3 The Nails, "88 Lines About 44 Women"
A few of the women, and their defining characteristics: Tanya Turkish (liked to fuck), Terri (didn't give a shit), Patty (shot cough syrup in her veins).

4 Butthole Surfers, "Pepper"
Texans in love with dyin': Pauly (gunshot), Flipper (virus), Mikey (knife wound).

5 Violent Femmes, "Kiss Off"
Quantity of unknown substance that Gordon Gano takes, and why: three (heartache), four (headache), six (his sorrow), nine (a lost God).

6 Deirdre Flint, "Jenny Of 100 Dates"
Some of the terrible dates Jenny endures on her way to true love: an Amway salesman, a Catholic priest, an obsessive Baywatch fan, a Mormon looking for a seventh wife, a Montana militia leader, and a "gastronomic nightmare" who can't stop burping.

7 Wilson Pickett, "Land Of 1000 Dances"
Complete list of dances mentioned (994 shy of what's promised): pony, mashed potato, alligator, watusi, twist, jerk.

8 Traditional, "12 Days Of Christmas"
No one gives these birds for Christmas anymore: turtle doves, French hens, calling birds, geese, swans.

9 Bob And Doug McKenzie, "12 Beers Of Christmas"
Practical Canadian holiday gifts: beer, French toast, smokes.

10 Pop Will Eat Itself, "Can U Dig It?"
Characters (real and fictional) endorsed by PWEI: Optimus Prime (but not Galvatron), Alan Moore, Dirty Harry, Bruce Wayne, Renegade Soundwave, AC/DC.

11 Billy Joel, "We Didn't Start The Fire"
Historical fires not lit by Billy Joel and his unnamed compatriots: vaccine, Communist bloc, children of Thalidomide, Liston beats Patterson, Wheel Of Fortune, AIDS, crack, cola wars.

12 The Nails , "Things You Left Behind"
Some objects a lover failed to take with her upon leaving: stockings, beads, records, autographed picture of Junior Wells, a dozen contraceptive sponges. (Anyone here got a rhyme for "sponges"?)

13 Jim Carroll, "People Who Died"
Some of Jim's friends, and their paths to the other side: Teddy (fell from roof), Cathy (suicide by reds and wine), Bobby (leukemia), G-Berg and Georgie (hepatitis), Tony (couldn't fly).

14 R.E.M., "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"
Seemingly random items that may or may not relate to Armageddon: book-burning, bloodletting, tournament of lies, Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce, Lester Bangs. (Leonard Bernstein!)

15 Reunion, "Life Is A Rock, But The Radio Rolled Me"
So, what kind of music do you like?: Carly Simon; Denver, John; Osmond, Donnie.

16 Lou Bega, "Mambo No. 5"
Some of the women Lou would like a little bit of: Monica, Rita, Tina, Jessica.

17 Julie Andrews, "My Favorite Things"
Things that wouldn't be quite right: non-cream-colored ponies, brown paper packages sealed with tape, soggy apple strudels.

18 Madonna, "Vogue"
Actors who never saw Swept Away: Greta Garbo, Grace Kelly, Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean.

19 Bob Dylan, "Subterranean Homesick Blues"
Strange courses of action Dylan suggests: hanging around an inkwell, writing Braille, watching the parkin' meters, jumping down the manhole.

20 The Divine Comedy, "The Booklovers"
History's greatest writers reduced to mere syllables: Virginia Woolf ("I'm losing my mind!"), Joseph Conrad ("I'm a bloody boring writer"), Henry James ("Howdy, Miss Wharton!").

21 Bing Crosby, "These Foolish Things"
Some of the foolish things that remind the poor singer of you: the scent of smoldering leaves, the wail of steamers, silk stockings thrown aside.

22 U2, "Numb"
Activities The Edge suggests you avoid: aping, gaping, shackling, compensating, filling out any forms, hovering at the gate.

23 The Psych edelic Furs, "All Of This And Nothing"
Things you left him that he couldn't understand: a picture of the Queen, a room full of your trash, a phonebook full of accidents, a visit from your doctor.

24 Steely Dan, "Things I Miss The Most"
Besides the talk and the sex: Eames chair (comfy), pans (good copper ones), Strat ('54), houses (Gulf Coast and Vineyard).

25 The Yardbirds, "Ten Little Indians"
Capital offenses, apparently: lying about another's best friend, pulling your mother down, forgetting to say prayers, taking the name of God in vain.

26 Alanis Morissette, "Ironic"
Things Alanis Morissette mistakenly believes meet the dictionary definition of "ironic": a death-row pardon two minutes late, good advice unheeded, traffic jam when you're already late, meeting the man of your dreams...and then meeting his beautiful wife.

27 The Moonglows, "The Ten Commandments Of Love"
Thou shalt: have faith in everything he says and does, Kiss him when you hold him tight, treat him sweet and gentle.

28 The Notorious B.I.G., "Ten Crack Commandments"
Selected advice for street-level entrepreneurs: Don't share information about your personal finances, don't trust anyone -- even your own mother, never use your own product, do not extend credit to drug addicts.

29 Prince Buster, "10 Commandments"
Bible-inspired instructions for loving Prince Buster: Thou shalt not search his pockets at night, annoy him with hearsays, or covet thy neighbor's dress, shoes, bureau, bed, or hat. Also, if thou commit adultery, Prince Buster will murder you.

30 Daft Punk, "Teachers"
Not teachers of the classroom variety: George Clinton, Mike Dearborn (in the house, yeah), DJ Sneak, Derrick Carter, Dr. Dre (in the house, yeah).

31 Hercules, "7 Ways To Jack"
Among numbered instructions for how to jack, a.k.a. dance sexily, in the '80s heyday of Chicago house music: visually touch the body in front of you, caress it with your eyes, drink it in slowly; close your eyes, remember the body you've just seen, then slowly undress it; lose complete mental control, begin to jack.

32 Scritti Politti, "Lions After Slumber"
My, my, my, he's got a lot of things, among them: charm, hunger, insulin, a refrigerator, drugs, drugs, drugs.

33 Ice-T, "99 Problems"
Types of hos and/or bitches in Ice-T's possession: one from the east, one that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest, one with a posterior the size of a television, one who favors velvet in the color blue, one whose breasts give powdered milk.

34 Buzzcocks, "I Need"
Classic punk band seeks: sex, love, drink, drugs, food, cash, you to love them back.

35 Cole Porter, "You're The Top"
Ostensibly but not obviously terrific things you are: Mickey Mouse, the Nile, cellophane, turkey dinner, Whistler's mama, Durante's nose.

36 George Gershwin, "They All Laughed"
Ultimately successful people who were initially laughed at, and why: Christopher Columbus (thinking the world was round), Edison (because he recorded sound), Marconi (because wireless was a phony).

37 Material Issue, "Goin' Through Your Purse"
Items carefully returned to your handbag after surreptitious rummaging: makeup, compact, lipstick (shit like that), keys, cigarettes, his lighter, picture of sister, picture of mother, picture of all the guys who date you, high-school graduation ring, check stub, and poetry from some stupid jerk who's trying to steal your heart away.

38 The B-52's, "52 Girls"
Girls named, na-amed, na-amed today: Hazel, Mavis, Candy, Jack Jackie-O.

39 Asylum Street Spankers, "Beer"
Unacceptable alternatives to fermented malt beverages: speed (a drag), coke (a joke), DMT (too rich), heroin (death), marijuana (makes you like Madonna).

40 Ian Dury & The Blockheads, "Reasons To Be Cheerful"
Just a few of the many, many things that kept Dury going: yellow socks, carrot juice, parrot smiles, acne-free days, Dominicker camels, all other mammals, sitting on the potty, curing smallpox, saying "hokey-dokey," and bottoms (round or skinny, no preference).

41 John Cougar Mellencamp, "R.O.C.K. In The U.S.A. (A Salute To '60s Rock)"
Artists who turned the world upside-down and filled heads with dreams: Jackie Wilson, Shangri-Las, Martha Reeves, don't forget James Brown.

42 Arthur Conley, "Sweet Soul Music"
Artists whom Arthur wants you to illuminate: Lou Rawls, Sam And Dave, Wilson Pickett, Otis Redding, James Brown again.

43 Willie Dixon, "29 Ways"
Just a few of the routes to Dixon's baby: through the chimney like Santa, a hidden door behind the grandfather clock, a hole in the bedroom floor.

44 Amy Rigby, "20 Questions"
Some of the interrogatives presented forcefully and then pitifully: why he's coming in at 3 a.m., why he didn't call, whether he loves her, whether he ever loved her.

45 Nick Drake, "One Of These Things First"
Things Nick Drake could have been: sailor, cook, signpost, clock, pillar, flute.

46 Paul McCartney, "Junk"
Stuff McCartney spied at the junk shop: parachutes, army boots, motorcars, handlebars.

47 Elvis Costello, "This Is Hell"
Stuff in hell: failed Don Juans, Julie Andrews recordings, that shirt you wore with courage.Copyright © 2009 by Onion, Inc.

Customer Reviews

Worth buying, even if you read the website
I make it a point every Monday to read the AV Club's new Inventory. These pop-culture lists are almost always interesting, even if I'm not necessarily interested in the subject at hand. When they hit on a subject that does interest me (such as the list of great movies that are too upsetting to see twice), it's absolutely fascinating.

I debated whether or not to buy the book; my main reason to buy it was for the book-only content: guest lists by people including Andrew W.K., Patton Oswalt, John Hodgman, and others. The guest lists are pretty disappointing, on the whole; they certainly don't hold up to the quality of the AV Club's writing, and many of them are not even in the spirit of the AV Club Inventory. (The first one, by Robert Ben Garant, is a simple list of gross-out moments from movies. It's not particularly witty or interesting; any blog commenter worth his "firsties" could have come up with it. Sorry, Mr. Garant; you're far from alone.) The only guest list writer who really gets it is Patton Oswalt; his list is smart, insightful, and funny.

But really, the suckiness of the guest lists is my only complaint (and you'll see, I didn't even ding the book a star for it). I bought this book for my Kindle, because it's a great thing to have in portable form and be able to read in bits and pieces while waiting around. It would also be a great book to buy and keep in the bathroom or nightstand; it lends itself perfectly to being read in small doses.

Next time, AV Club, skip the guests and give us more of your own writing!

Add to Your List
If you were an alien from another galaxy needing a crash guide to the underpinnings of US pop culture, you couldn't find a better guide then The Onion's new book, Inventory. I have always enjoyed the A.V. Club reviews of music, movies and books in "America's Finest News Source." They may be hip and ironic but their analyses are always insightful. Now here is a catalog of that department's occasional groupings. Enjoy such things as "6 Keanu Reeves movies somehow not ruined by Keanu Reeves," "26 songs that works as short stories," "15 Dr. Seuss characters that sound like sex toys, "5 essential books about film," "25 sure signs that a sitcom is terrible," etc. etc. Unless you are a big fan of movies about dancing or terminal illness, this book will send you to Netflix or your local DVD rental store without fail.

Plus it got me into the library site. Let's face it, most bookstores have long forgotten Abbie Hoffman's Steal This Book and Tom Robbins's Even Cowgirls Get the Blues both adroitly featured here in "14 must-read books for aspiring young rebels." And what about Kurt Vonnegut. He formed our lives. Inventory reminds us how he wrote in Mother Night, "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." If nothing else this compilation shows us that we have not progressed as much as we like to think. We just conveniently forget the old contexts. The A.V. gang isn't letting us. Some of their smart-ass gives way to the profound. Stop for a minute and think of books or movies that you think define the decades of the past, then take a look at their lists and the rationale for each. Here's a snippet on Pulp Fiction, for example, "The twentysomethings who watched Pulp Fiction dozens of times over weren't just looking for cool movie characters, they were returning repeatedly to a cinematic universe that imbued the detritus of their youth--the theme restaurants, the movie quotes, the meaningless banter about trivia--with meaning."

Though there is depth, the scope of material is limited (to the media as high art and beautiful trash). I don't see this as a shortcoming, but rather as a challenge to the rest of us to think and talk and write about our lives instead of being satisfied with the usual gloss. Inventory's format is fun, assessable, and always stimulating. I like the "heaven" and "hell" listings across the top and bottom of very page contrasting "RSS feeds" with "pop-up ads"; "New Yorker cartoons" with "New York Post headlines"; "wood" vs. "particleboard." This volume has an honored a well-deserved, permanent place in my bathroom. It's too good not to go back to. There's even a section titled "50 list ideas we rejected for this book." I'm sure our interplanetary traveler would have enjoyed, "Hey, its Harvey Keitel's penis: 5 films with uncomfortable nude scenes."

Obsessively hilarious
I'm not a terribly huge fan of the AV Club; I check the website every now and then to see what is going on. I bought this book because it was only 10 bucks and, after reading most of it I must say, is a steal. Not only are the lists themselves incredibly entertaining, but the commentaries for each listing are written well enough to make me care about a Lars von Trier movie (Bravo!).

This book won't change your life, but for the price, you will find hours of entertainment and interest.