Product Description

Are you tired of the dating game? Do you fear never finding that special someone? Don't give up hope. Just when you begin to dream of moving to Antarctica, or making your pet your lifelong companion, Shmuley Boteach can help you experience the overwhelming rewards of making someone else happy. Drawing on the ancient wisdom of the Ten Commandments, he will demonstrate the timeless attraction of mystique and explain the four steps of intimacy: attraction, exploration, emotional intimacy, and physical intimacy.

* Express the self-confidence that will become your most attractive quality.
* Learn to become emotionally naked instead of just physically naked.
* Understand the difference between a loving soul mate and a partner.
* Learn to have what Boteach calls a "peasant" attitude toward love-discovering what you have to offer someone and what you need from that special someone.

Suddenly your view of dating will do an about face: finding a soul mate will be a simple, straightforward, and joyful process instead of a shot in the dark.

Shmuley Boteach is by turns self-deprecating and hilarious, but he is always on point. Here the author of Kosher Sex outlines the ultimate plan for fulfillment and contentment, no matter your age, sex, or situation.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #476992 in Books
• Published on: 2001-01-16
• Released on: 2001-01-16
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 304 pages

Amazon.com Review
In Kosher Sex, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach teaches the place of sex in marriage. But if you haven't yet stood under the chupah (or at the altar--Boteach's books are for everyone, not just Jews), the good rabbi has some advice for you in Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments. By using the 10 Commandments and the laws of the Old Testament as a guide to romance, Boteach advises how to find a soul mate (a person who completes you) as opposed to a partner (who is merely a companion). All of his sensible advice is inferred from the basic tenets of Judaism in a manner that will have you nodding your head in agreement (he extrapolates from the Fifth Commandment, "Honor your Father and your Mother," the ideals of gratitude in dating). Yes, some of his advice is commonsense, even at times downright silly ("try singing together on a date," he suggests), but many of his ideas are not only logical, they are presented in such a droll manner that you'll keep reading just to enjoy his whimsical style. Using his own marriage and the failed dates of others as fodder, he explores the proper way to treat a date, with suggestions on what to talk about and how to behave. At times, the language does not sound as if it is coming from a man of the cloth--he jokingly confesses to having memorized all of Portnoy's Complaint, and he refers with ease to Viagra, Tweety Bird boxer shorts, and rubber dolls. But when you dig beneath the lighthearted tone, the advice is sound: listen to your date; care for him or her as you would the Sabbath, a sacred day to be honored and guarded; be generous with your compliments and slow to anger. While you may not agree with all he has to say, Boteach is never preachy (even when stating his views about abstinence until marriage, he is firm without being close-minded). Dating Secrets is a fun yet constructive guide, and just might help you on the way to finding your soul mate. --Jenny Brown

From Publishers Weekly
The author of Kosher Sex now offers a guide to dating. Boteach argues that the Ten Commandments are God's blueprints for his love affair with Israel, and there's no reason that readers shouldn't apply those precepts to their own love affairs. Hidden within the commandments are principles that should govern romantic relationships. The first commandment (I am the Lord your God, who led you out of Egypt to be your God) teaches primacy--suitors should make sure their dates know they are a priority. The fourth commandment (remember the Sabbath) teaches readers to make dates special occasions. From the fifth commandment (honor thy father and mother), we learn to bring dates home to our folks for brunch or dinner and not to be afraid to "parent" our dates. Many of Boteach's observations are banal and oversimplified, and he assumes a world full of cookie-cutter men and women, the former commitment-phobic and the latter terrified. (See, for example, his suggestion that men single-mindedly try to get women into bed, and women naively assume that sex "is a sure sign of love.") The ten commandments are an innovative scrim before this otherwise predictable relationship manual. (Jan.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
Rabbi Boteach has once again published a guide to meaningful relationships. His previous book, Kosher Sex, provoked audiences with its audacious title. This volume does the same. There are ten chapters, each keyed to a commandment, and each headed by a catchy title. Although written in an upbeat tone, with hip language (which sometimes borders on the flippant), an undercurrent of deep feeling and commitment guides the text. And although Boteach uses the precepts of Judaism as his basis, even readers not conversant with Judaism will still be able to profit from his ideas. An excellent book for those who want guidance in their personal relationships. Highly recommended for all public libraries.
---Idelle Rudman, Touro Coll. Lib., New York
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Customer Reviews

Hilarious AND Informative!
Mr. Boteach's book, The Dating Secrets of the 10 Commandments caught my eye at a bookstore. I sat for a full hour and read as much as possible...and I loved it! Not only is it well-written, with a narrative and personal touch that gives the reader a sort of relationship with the author, it's actually a helpful tool in improving your attitude on dating. Usually, I skip over the personal stories of authors in books about dating, and/or any other subject, yet I laughed aloud as I read Boteach's thoughts and viewpoints on finding a soul-mate, especially from the Jewish perspective. If you are Jewish, this book will be probably more enjoyable for you since you can really relate to what Boteach is saying about the relationship between being Jewish and having a social life. I recommend this book even if you aren't looking for a soulmate! It's entertaining, interesting, and enjoyable!

A Great Guide to Love and Dating
This book is one of the best I have read - whether secular or spiritual - on relationships and intimacy. Shmuley incorporates humor into topics that are intimate and touch the soul. For those who are believers, this book really helps to focus on the analogy between our relationship with God, and our relationship with our soulmate. The principles of primacy, exclusivity, confidence, sacred moments, grtitude, compliments, mystery, sincerity, trust and contentment are simple, but often neglected. His countering of the prevailing notion of finding a "partner" vs. a "soul-mate" is one of the most salient points in the book. As he points out, a marriage should be a union like no other, and finding someone who can be a companion spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically is a pursuit worthy of our focus, care and attention. One to keep by the bedside, and read in between dates!

Something of value even for "non daters"
I picked this book up only because of the odd juxtaposition of the two concepts in the title. It has many good tips for guiding you towards more fulfilling relationships in general, not just with your "date." It made me appreciate and see the commandments in a whole new way. I concur with the other reviewer that there is too much schtick in the book. I enjoyed the some of the humor, and it did make certain points hit home. However after a while it got repetetive and distracting. If you can ignore the irrelevant jokes, you can find some real gems of spiritual advice for guiding your life based on the big 10. I would especially recommend this book to a guy who is looking for a meaningful relationship with a woman, perhaps leading to marriage. This answers the question, "What do women want?"