Product Description

This practical and inspiring guide to negotiating lifes passagesespecially career change and retirementtakes readers on a richly rewarding voyage of self-discovery. The ultimate destination: personal as well as professional fulfillment. A much-needed manual in this era of widespread layoffs, corporate downsizing, and a workforce in seemingly perpetual transition.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #258793 in Books
• Published on: 2002-01-03
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Psychologist Cantor (Women in Power with Toni Bernay) presents middle-aged readers with a blank road map enabling them to chart a personal course for the succeeding chapters in their lives, whether they are 38 years old and looking to make a major career change or 68 and contemplating a retirement in which they can "develop a genuine occupation... because of an inherent, personal meaning, need, or calling." Noting that most advice manuals for people in the second half of their lives focus on finances and health, she points out that once her older clients in therapy took control of these two issues, they found they "hadn't planned in any way what they were going to do with their healthy bodies and comfortable bank accounts." Certainly, Cantor says, readers should revel in the "honeymoon" phase of transition between major life courses, though an extended honeymoon can bring on ennui or inertia, marring the later stage of life she believes can encompass the most freedom and options. With Thompson's (Material Fitness) capable assistance, Cantor deftly guides readers through a series of clear explanations and cogent exercises, including creating a "life inventory" of personal tendencies, likes and dislikes, and needs for optimal comfort, enjoyment and success, which will enable readers to formulate individualized plans for consciously moving into the next chapter of their lives. Agent, Marcy Posner, William Morris Agency. (Jan. 23) Forecast: Cantor will appear on national television talk shows and conduct a book-signing tour of New York; Dayton and Columbus, Ohio; Atlanta; and Vero Beach, Fla. With a strong publicity push to support this thoughftul and practical addition to the midlife category, booksellers should expect healthy sales.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Bill Bradley, former U.S. senator
"Dr. Cantor's calm and concrete suggestions ease the apprehension of change and help us be open to wonderful new experiences..."

Norine G. Johnson, Ph.D., president, American Psychological Association
"A remarkable, on-the-mark book for anyone twenty-five to eighty-five who is planning a job change or contemplating retirement."

Customer Reviews

A primer for those "in the desert"
"What Do You Want to Do When You Grow Up?" is a must book for those who are "in-transition," thinking about retirement, or uncertain about their present career path (the desert experience). For four years, I have been serving as a co-ministry head in my Church assisting those who are either "in-transition" or contemplating it. This has been my number one reading recommendation to all participants, as this book handily addresses the first step to be taken before one moves-on, the step of self-awareness. Without knowing you are and where you want to go, you are doomed to a very empty existence.

Dorothy Cantor shares her twenty-five years of experience as a psychologist working with those who are seeking "what to do next" with key questions and real-life stories. While some, like me, may find the stories of little use, the questions she raises are the guts of the book and make this an excellent purchase. Some of these include:

What will I be doing when I am no longer spending most of my time at the work I am doing now?
What are the fifteen good things (besides money) that I get from job now?
What was it that I first longed to be when I grew up?
What are my obsession and reigning passions?
Who are my heroes, my favorite or most unforgettable people?

These and a host of other questions she raises will get one to think about their lives, their dreams, their gifts, their passions, and, ultimately, their direction. This is not a book to read quickly as this book requires the hard work of reflection and introspection to maximize its value.

Cantor has authored a very readable and useful book in helping those who are searching to start the next chapter in their lives - possibly the most fruitful and meaningful

Starts out great; doesn't deliver on its promises
The book "What Do You Want to Do When You Grow Up?" by Dorothy Cantor starts off with some promise. Early she says, "What we are going to talk about can be summed up as the capacity to grow and the need to choose....We will look at what went on before, in order to find some clues for the future." Later in the first section, she adds, "I'll show you how to pull those pieces together to sketch a plan for the next part of your life- the time in which there will be few rules, the time in which the choices will be up to you....Don't just leave the future to chance; do not assume that after you stop working, all will fall comfortably in place....design the years ahead, not wait for them to happen....you have within you, as we all have, the gift for endless self-renewal."

This is good stuff; we are off to a good start. But, in my opinion, the book does not deliver on its promises. Instead, we find that the author, who is a practicing psychologist, builds her book like a therapist who is trying to help someone solve a personal problem, in this case the prospect or experience of an unfulfilling retirement phase of life. This theme is exposed when she tells us, "Many people who have entered the after-the-job stage of their lives find themselves asking if there isn't supposed to be more to it....many such people come to my office for counseling."

So, the author presents four men and four women, "who sketched their journeys for me." My problem with what happens next is that the next 120 pages dwell on the childhood, educational, personal and vocational phases of these people's lives. Five of the eight still work, one retired one year ago, another two years back, and the other 12 years ago. So, a basic problem can be seen here: only one of those profiled has much of any experience with and in retirement!

I'm a firm believer that life, for the most part, only makes sense when you look at it in reverse. The variables along the way are endless: who we end up with as a spouse, what career we end up with, where we end up living, whether we are "successful" or not, etc. I also believe that the variables in the retirement phase can be endless, and, for the most part, are not controllable any more than the variables in our earlier phases were. The point here is that, for me, this lengthy exercise to learn who these working people are now and who they were earlier in their lives does little for me as a guide to my personal success in retirement. I just don't see these people as having much to say that is knowledgeable about the subject of retirement.

What I think the author may be on to is to open the door to the area of specialized retirement counseling for those who might need some "special" help. Folks who enter retirement with histories of having problems making decisions, following through on things, and being comfortable with themselves outside of their jobs might, indeed, need to look at their past to better understand who they can become in retirement. But I firmly believe that most folks do not need to go to the psychologist's couch as an essential step into retirement. So, in that sense, the essence of this book, in my opinion, is not valuable to most pre-retirees or those in their early transition.

Surely there are those who could use such help finding themselves in retirement. Willie Lowman, the central character in "Death of a Salesman" might be a candidate. After his death, one of his sons says of his salesman father, "He never knew who he was." Another candidate would be Mr. Schmidt of the "About Schmidt" movie fame. Talk about a guy that is ill-prepared for retirement! He came into it a mess, and he makes an early mess of it. He didn't know who he was, what he was supposed to be doing, or where he was headed. If someone is a mess before retirement, how could he or she not be expected to be a mess in retirement. And surely some people find success in the workplace in ways that will be difficult to find outside of the workplace. These folks could use some help.

Back to the book, the last 30 or so pages have some tidbits that are worthwhile, like breaking the transition into retirement into three phases: honeymooning, testing new waters, and the second wind. And on the final pages, she says, "Life keeps happening, and transitions are part of it....After all, growing up is never done." Sounds like good advice, but doesn't that mean that we've come full-circle in the book? At the end she tells us that we never grow up? If so, what was the point of the book?

In the end, I found the eight people profiled to be too few and with too little to say about the realities of successful retirement. As for advice about what one might want to do with extra leisure time in retirement, I'd point readers to the Activity Tree in "The Joy of Not Working," by Ernie Zelinski, as a much more practical way to build and to "pull" meaningful activity ideas for an individual retiree.

LIKE PLANTING AND TENDING A GARDEN!
As a counsellor, I have found many individuals discover "anticipating retirement" and "living in retirement" are two very different things. In the next ten years, I, too, will be "growing up" and facing this new chapter of my life. However, there are so many plans for my future, I only hope my health, financial resources and stamina will allow me to fulfill these ambitions. To me, retirement is like planting and tending a garden. First, one must plan carefully (you do not want to waste your precious years on activities that do not bring you joy and fulfillment.) Then, one should decide what plants (projects, hobbies, activities) to sow, not only to keep you physically active, but metally alert. Finally, one must lovingly tend that garden (nourish the soul, maintain physical health, and weed the emotional clutter from the past.) If you have lost a spouse, partner or soul-mate during this planting season, it is important to grieve, but it is equally important to know when to let go and when it is time to plant a new garden. Remember, time waits for no one. Only then, will one be prepared to start the next chapter of their life. We all need to have hopes, goals and dreams, no matter what our age.

In this book, the author points out the positive ways of dealing with change and how to plan and approach this new period in the lifecycle. Anyone approaching mid-life can certainly benefit from this book; it is never to soon to plan for the future. If you are already into your retirement years, this book may be just the inspiration you need if the years are not as challenging and fulfilling as you anticipated. The author has a lot to say on the subject and it is a great book based on sound advice.