Product Description

Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows-Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest.

Take, for example, this:

Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup & Sleep Restaurants. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks.

Or this:

Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome.". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds.

Or even this:

Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean.

Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes--is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #88830 in Books
• Published on: 2000-06-14
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 224 pages

From the Back Cover
Ms. Barbara Ramey
RALPHS SUPERMARKETS
PO Box 54143
Los Angeles, CA 90054

Dear MS. Ramey:

Thank you very much for answering my letter concerning the haunted sponge I bought from a Ralphs store. Ralphs has been and always will be the only store I shop in for my food and sponge needs.

In your letter to me you said that I would be hearing from the supplier of this songe. I have not heard from them. And this sponge is bad.

Can someone from Ralphs come and get this sponge from me? This sponge is out to get me. I am afraid.

After I got your letter I went down to my basement and locked that sponge in a steel box and put a chain around that box. Then I wrapped that box in tape and put a shackle around that. Then I boarded up the basement door with over 1000 nails. Then I put a manacle on that door. Then I went upstairs to my room to get a good nights sleep.

At about 3 o'clock in the morning I woke up and looked down. That sponge was right by my bed. I am scared. Please help me.

Also, do you sell Brillo at your store?

When will I hear from the supplier? I need to know. Thank you for your reply.

Sincerely,

Ted L. Nancy

About the Author
Ted L. Nancy is an enthusiastic and busy citizen who lives in Thousand Oaks, California.

Customer Reviews

I WISH I WAS PEN-PALS WITH TED L. NANCY
THIS BOOK IS LAUGH-OUT-LOUD HILARIOUS! With TV and movies it's easy but when was the last time you laughed and cried from reading a book? This book will make you do it! It's a testament to how stupid people are that they actually respond to the letters of Ted L. Nancy (which go from strange to bizarre to absurd).

Some of my favorites:

Ted's letter to the owner of Norm's Barbershop where he says he'll be opening his own barbershop next door and calling it GNORM'S BARBERSHOP. Will this be a problem?

Writing to a wildlife park and telling the rangers he'll be studying the grizzly bears in full bear costume. "If a bear waves and says 'Hello' it'll probably be me."

A letter to a poetry contest with his submission "OH HOW I HATE POETRY CONTESTS"!

The sheer ingenuity of these letters kept me cracking up...sometimes I'd be laughing just to see which business or country Mr. Nancy would target next. The laughs come page after page and I can't recommend this book more highly.

Possibly the funniest book the world has ever known
The first Letters From A Nut was lent to me by a friend during a very difficult time in my life and it was very good medicine. Since that time I've bought the book for several people as gifts and produced lots of instant fans. What I've found interesting with this book is the "trail" it leaves--for example: I lent the 3rd Letters From a Nut to my pastor (instant fan), who ended up staying up almost all night with a group of friends (who now call themselves Ted. L. Nancy disciples!) reading it and laughing themselves sick. One of these friends in turn bought the book for his dad, who is a high school special education teacher. His dad loved it so much that he now uses the book as motivation for his students (rewards them by reading letters to them!). It's that good. This is the most creative, ingenious humor I've come across. It will inspire you to think of your own "letters" (my sister in law was tempted to write her state department of transportation for permission to plant corn between the east and west bound interstates). It's the "gift that keeps on giving!"

Dear Ted....
This book was funny! I was laughing so loudly I am sure my neighbors wondered what was going on in my apartment. Under no circumstances should you attempt to eat or drink while reading this book unless you have someone nearby who can perform the Heimlich Maneuver.