Product Description

Four pastors' wives. All desperate for something.

Is it possible that their desperation will lead to hope?

Mimi, Lisa, Jennifer, and Felicia all live in the fishbowl of Red River, Ohio. Everyone expects something from them. Gourmet casseroles. Perfect husbands. Well-behaved children. They expect even more of themselves.

The constant demands and always-ringing phones are enough to drive any sane woman crazy. Add to all that the condescending Katherine Fleming Katt -- self-promoting pastor's wife of the town's largest church -- who loves to flaunt her superior position. In the midst of such chaos, will each woman find the one thing she longs for?

When the unflappable Kitty Katt starts showing up at odd places, the four friends get suspicious. Is Kitty hiding something? What secrets lie behind her "perfect" exterior? But even more significant than unraveling Kitty Katt's secrets is finding answers for themselves.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #428336 in Books
• Published on: 2007-03-20
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 320 pages

Review
"What a find! From the moment you meet the fabulous foursome in this tale of love, faith, hope, and forgiveness, you are hooked! These witty, vulnerable women wrestle with issues that are common to every woman -- though their unique position as pastors' wives puts them in a fishbowl of unnerving demand." -- Eric and Jennifer Garcia, cofounders, Association of Marriage and Family Ministries

Review
"This easy-to-read, suspenseful book provides insight into what goes on in the life of a Desperate Pastor's Wife. You'll see the questions they ask, the worries and emotions they feel, their fears and failures, their hopes, their convictions, and their faith. Read this, and you'll be enlightened and encouraged." -- Dr. Thelma Wells, speaker, Women of Faith conferences; president, A Woman of God Ministries; author, God Is Not Through with Me Yet and What These Girls Knew

"Move over, ladies of Wisteria Lane; the desperate pastors' wives of Lulu's Cafe have arrived! This sassy tale of women with real-life secrets will make you laugh as you share their anguish and connect with their hearts." -- Eva Marie Everson, coauthor of The Potluck Club series

"What a find! From the moment you meet the fabulous foursome in this tale of love, faith, hope, and forgiveness, you are hooked! These witty, vulnerable women wrestle with issues that are common to every woman -- though their unique position as pastors' wives puts them in a fishbowl of unnerving demand." -- Eric and Jennifer Garcia, cofounders, Association of Marriage and Family Ministries

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
CHAPTER 1

Lulu's Café

Tuesday, May 2

12:07 p.m.

"Sorry I'm late," Lisa said breathlessly as she rushed to the three women seated in a cozy booth toward the back of Lulu's Café. Lulu's was a small dive in Cheeksville, a quaint four-red-light town in the rolling hills of southwestern Ohio, forty miles from Red River.

She slid in next to Felicia, dressed as usual in a business suit, and across from Jennifer and Mimi.

"Hey, Lisa, we were wondering if you got to praising the Lord and lost track of time," Jennifer said with a laugh.

Lisa grinned. Her husband was pastor of the Red River Assembly of God, known for its drum-thumping, guitar-playing, hand-waving worship services. She plopped her purse under the table, pushing the strap onto her knee. "Well, I'll tell ya, we did go more than two hours Sunday."

Felicia raised her eyebrows. Her dark eyes shone with intensity. "I can't imagine what would happen at our church if Dave wasn't giving the altar call by 11:45. Every Sunday I see people checking their watches when someone goes forward, as if the roasts in their ovens are more important than that person's salvation."

"That's why I use the timer on my oven," Mimi chimed in, tucking her blond, bobbed hair behind one ear. "I set it to turn off at noon, so even if we get held up doing the pastor-and-wife thing after church, I don't have to worry too much."

Lisa noticed Mimi furrow her brows at the word worry.

"That reminds me," Mimi said. "I need to call the oven dealer for service. Our oven's been running hot. I discovered it when the Taylors, a family from the church, were over for dinner three nights ago. The turkey Tetrazzini was crusty. I was so embarrassed."

"Don't worry about it." Jennifer laughed. "I've served more than my share of crusty creations."

Lisa attempted to smile and act chipper, in spite of the morning she'd had. She hoped her hazel eyes didn't reveal that she'd been crying.

Then she caught Jennifer's gaze. Jennifer nonchalantly dabbed under her eyes, then looked again at her.

Lisa got the hint. Evidently the strain of the morning was showing on her face. Thought I caught everything in the rearview mirror. She began, nonchalantly she hoped, to wipe under her eyes.

Mimi reached across the table to pat Lisa's arm. "Everything okay?"

"Hmm?"

Mimi mimicked Lisa's under-eye action.

"Oh," Lisa said, trying to act casual. "Allergies."

Out of the corner of her eye, Lisa caught the suspicious glances that shot between Jennifer and Felicia.

"MJ suffers from allergies," Mimi said, evidently missing the exchanged looks. "We can't give him anything for it, though, or he acts like a zombie. I think it affects his inner ears or something. Can you take an antihistamine?"

Felicia rolled her eyes just as Gracie, their waitress, walked to the table and nearly collided with Megan, who was running to the booth from across the room.

"Whoa, there, little one!" Gracie patted Megan on the head and turned her toward Mimi.

"Mom!" Megan whined as she held out two pieces of an orange crayon. "My crayon broke."

Mimi took the pieces and reached into her purse for the plastic sandwich bag filled with crayons, colored pencils, and watercolor markers. "That's okay, sweetheart. Mommy has another one for you." She handed Megan another orange crayon.

Megan skipped back to her table, where her coloring books and crayons were scattered.

Lisa glanced questioningly at Mimi.

"Gladys has kidney stones," Mimi explained with a sigh about her usual babysitter. "And her husband said she didn't look so good. So I had to bring Megan or I couldn't come."

Although the four PWs had made a pact a year ago that no children would be allowed on their lunches at Lulu's, they had mentioned that exceptions -- and only rare ones -- would be permitted. All agreed that a babysitter with kidney stones qualified.

"Okay, PWs, what is it today?" Gracie asked as she pulled a pen from behind her ear. "Felicia, are you still on that Miami Beach diet or whatever it is? The one where you can't have bread or potatoes, but you can eat a warm slice of apple pie à la mode?"

Felicia playfully hid her eyes as the other three women laughed at Gracie's joke. Gracie had been their waitress the first time they visited Lulu's, so when they made their meetings a biweekly event, they decided always to sit in her station. One day Gracie had overheard their discussion and figured out they were all pastors' wives.

"Y'know, church just ain't for me," she told them at the time. "And I figure if it hasn't been for me in sixty-eight years, it's probably not going to be. But you girls, you're the salt of the earth, as they say, and I know those husbands of yours appreciate what you do. And the Lord too."

"Gracie, I thought you said church isn't for you. Yet you believe in God? Why don't you want to go to church?" Any other person asking that question might have received a turned back for an answer, but Mimi's sweet, honest approach made people feel at ease.

"Ah, girlie, don't take this personal or nothing, but churches are for praying and paying. I can pray at home, and I don't got nothing to use for paying. Besides, all I hear about churches is that this one's splitting up or that one has a pastor who's seeing some other woman or who knows what. Now who wants to be part of that?"

All four women had stared down at the napkins in their laps. They couldn't argue with Gracie's point. After all, the reason they'd started meeting forty miles outside of the community where they all lived and worshiped was to avoid running into people from their churches. Later they'd prayed for Gracie as they blessed their food, but her plain-spoken words stayed with them.

"What's the special today, Gracie?" Jennifer asked as Gracie stood at their table, pen poised, ready to take their order.

"Same as every Tuesday," they all chimed together and started to laugh.

Gracie cocked her head toward Lisa. "Girl, what's the matter with you?" she asked bluntly. "You got troubles with that pastor husband of yours?"

Lisa forced a smile. "No -- "

"Oh, Gracie," Mimi interrupted, "she has allergies. Do you have any green tea or something that will make her feel better?"

Lisa cringed inwardly. Mimi always saw the best in everyone and wanted to help. But this time Lisa didn't want any help -- or any attention.

"Green tea?" Gracie chuckled. "Honey, this is a family restaurant, not some Starbucks."

"Okay, how about chicken noodle soup then?"

"I'm fine," Lisa said. "Really. I don't need anything special." She just wanted the attention off her. "What's everyone getting today?"

"I'll have that apple pie à la mode." Felicia winked.

Gracie played along. "Well, it does have fruit and calcium. Would you like a chicken Caesar salad with that?"

"You know what I like. Dressing on the side. Hold the croutons -- and the pie," Felicia added.

"Megan will have the chicken fingers and fries," said Mimi. "And a chocolate milk. And I'm going to have the burger combo. I've been so hungry lately. I can't seem to get enough food into me."

Jennifer looked up from her menu. "It's that 'I could be pregnant' time of the month again, so I can't have my usual shrimp -- no shellfish, they say, just in case. So I'll go with the Reuben, and a milk."

"Okay, and what about you, Miss I-Have-Allergies?"

"Go with the chicken soup," Mimi urged helpfully. "I've had it before. It's really good."

"Isn't chicken soup supposed to be good for colds?" Jennifer asked.

"Allergies, colds -- it's the same difference."

"Well, I'm not really that hungry," Lisa said. "I'll stick with coffee for now."

After Gracie completed their order, she plodded off to her next table.

Lisa felt the other women's eyes on her.

"Lisa, is everything okay?" Jennifer finally asked. "I'm not buying the allergies thing."

Lisa held her hands to her cheeks. Did they look as warm as they felt? "Really, I'm okay," she insisted, even though she felt horrible for lying to these women who had become so dear to her. "I had a late breakfast anyway."

The others didn't seem convinced, but they let it slide.

Megan ran back over to the booth, this time holding a sheet of paper that had multicolored scribbles all over it. "Here!" she said excitedly as she presented it to Jennifer.

"For me?" Jennifer took the sheet and held it to her chest. "Thank you! I'll keep this forever."

"I'm hungry, Mommy." Megan had obviously moved on.

"I just ordered for us, punkin," Mimi said sweetly.

Megan ran back to her spot to grab another piece of paper.

"You don't have to keep that," Mimi whispered to Jennifer. "She makes hundreds of them."

"What is it?" Jennifer whispered back and held out the picture, turning it on all sides.

"Who knows? We've killed more trees for that girl. I wouldn't be surprised if she becomes an artist."

"Well then, of course I'll keep this. It might be worth a fortune someday."

Megan ran back to their table with another picture and handed it to Lisa.

"Thank you, honey," Lisa said.

Megan tugged on her mother's shirt sleeve. "Mommy, why are we so far away from home just to eat lunch? There are places to eat in Red River."

Mimi pursed her lips as the amused others waited for her response. "Well, Megan, sometimes it's good to get away and see new things. You know, like when we went to Florida last summer and you got to play at the beach and go on all those rides at Disney World."

"Oooh, does Mickey Mouse come see the kids at this restaurant too?" Megan asked with such excitement that she dropped a crayon and had to dive under the table to retrieve it.

Jennifer leaned out of the booth. "Where's Gracie with that water pitcher?" Then she shot back around, looking half-terrified, half-shocked. "Oh, you guys, it's not Mickey Mouse. But it is the woman with the biggest ears in Red River."

Before anyone could ask "who?" she was at their table. Katherine Fleming Katt, more casually referred to as "Kitty," and wife of Norman Katt, the pastor at First Presbyterian, Red River's largest and oldest church...

Customer Reviews

Engaging Story
Four women, each from a different denomination, meet secretly, forty miles from their hometown for a monthly lunch. Here they can talk about the things they can't tell the people in their churches. After all, pastor's wives are expeceted to be pious, conservative, self-sacrificing, and available to take on the jobs no one else wants. Most of all, they are expected to be invisible. And heaven help them if they forget to smile and speak to every member of the congregation. These women need a break.

They don't have close friends in their own churches, because pastor's wives can't play favorites, so the monthly luncheons are an island of sanity for them. In addition, they have personal problems they share with each other. Jennifer is desperate to have a baby. Felicia thinks another woman is after her husband. Lisa's husband is married to his church, with no time for her, and Mimi is trying to prove her worth by being everything to everyone.

The women use some very unorthodox methods to solve their problems, proving that God really does move in mysterious ways. In Desperate Pastor's Wives, Ginger Kolbaba and Christy Scannel have woven humor and faith into an engaging story, one I really enjoyed. The next time you go to church, give your pastor's wife a hug and tell her how much you appreciate her. Be prepared to catch her if she keels over in shock, but when she recovers she'll thank you.

For and about pastors' wives
Not even pastors' wives are perfect. But for Jennifer, Mimi, Lisa and Felicia--it sure feels like they are expected to be. So when they start meeting in secret at Lulu's Cafe forty miles from town to share in each other's lives, you might expect "a little desperation."

Jennifer is desperate for a baby, the only thing she ever asks God for and His apparent "no" leaves her desperate for faith. Mimi is successful at everything she puts her hands to, but outward perfection leaves her desperate for inward peace. Lisa has taken the backseat to her husband's ministry and is desperate for love. And Felicia never signed up to be the dutiful pastor's wife, but her husband's church thinks they got a two-for-one. Juggling church, family and career leaves her desperate for fulfillment.

I positively burned through this book because it was so enjoyable. I think most women feel like their lives are on display for the world to criticize, but few like pastors' wives, where a sink full of dirty dishes is more than homemaking ability, but possibly a spiritual failing.

Whether you are a pastor's wife, know one (or three), or just a disillusioned woman, you will find something to enjoy about this book. I could relate to many of the feelings expressed by each woman. I could relate to knowing (and dodging) the "villain" perfect pastor's wife and her catty antics. And though I can't relate to being a pastor's wife, it gave me even more insight into their lives in the fishbowl...which seem to be mine multiplied.

Armchair Interview says: Grab this book; you'll be glad you did.

The Woman Who Lives In Your Parsonage
For more than two decades, we've traveled all over the world to speak at retreats and seminars for pastors and their spouses (yes, some pastors are women!). Earlier this year we were in central Europe (Bulgaria, Romania) speaking to pastors and spouses from that region.

After listening to pastor's wives for 20 years, we can tell you that Ginger Kolbaba writes with accuracy and understanding about how many of these women think, feel, and react. Many pastors' wives work outside the home. Many are also busy raising young children. Many serve various roles in the church and congregation while doing all the above.

Will everyone like this book? Maybe not --- but anyone can learn from it. If what you learn is how to love and appreciate the woman who lives in your parsonage (whether she's the pastor, or the pastor's wife) then this book is well worth reading.

Ginger Kolbaba is an engaging writer, always interesting to read. Here she turns her attention to pastors' wives. It's time somebody did!

Dr. David & Lisa Frisbie
The Center for Marriage & Family Studies
Authors of: Raising Great Kids on Your Own: A Guide and Companion for Every Single Parent