Product Description

Becoming a stepmother is a life-altering event in any woman's life. The issues are extraordinarily complex and women are overwhelmingly unprepared. Yet concerns usually focus on the effect remarriage has on the children. The Enlightened Stepmother approaches the subject from a totally new perspective -- that of the stepmother. Based on information -- sometimes controversial -- from stepmoms of all ages, occupations and lifestyles, who know from experience what works, what doesn't and why --

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #31753 in Books
• Published on: 1999-03-01
• Released on: 1999-03-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 464 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780380796045
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

About the Author
Perdita Kirkness Norwood, stepmother to four now-adult children, is a stepmother advocate who leads support groups, focus groups and workshop on the subject. She lives in Connecticut.

Customer Reviews

Gotta have it...
"The Enlightened Stepmother" is an amazingly thorough look at the life of the stepmom, including her fears and worries, her problems and challenges, and a realistic assessment of her chances for happiness. Mrs. Norwood takes a stance that stepmoms everyone can understand, calling us "one of the last social groups still in the closet."

She says that we are "new pioneers" because society still often has a misunderstood and unfavorable view of the stepmom -- the wicked woman who takes mom's place and isn't to be trusted. This prevailing stereotype makes life even harder for the stepmom who is insecure or unsure of her place in the family. Mrs. Norwood's book helps that stepmom with a straightforward, in-depth and honest investigation into her life.

"The Stepmom's Quick Primer" at the beginning of the book gives the reader "twelve essential gems of wisdom." These brief items give to-the-point advice and inspiration to the struggling stepmom. It's just the beginning to a lengthy analysis of all aspects of the stepmom's life.

The book is divided into four parts. Part 1, "Getting to Know You," focuses on the stepmom's view of herself and her stepfamily. The author helps the reader explore exactly what her role, rights and responsibilities are and understand her expectations. Part 2, "Relationships," encourages the stepmom to apply the same research that she applied to her own feelings to the other people in her life, to learn directly what everyone feels and what they expect instead of relying on preconceived perceptions.

Part 3, the "Lifestyle and Practical Matters" section, covers those day-to-day concerns that can't be left to chance: the wedding, custody and visitation, discipline, holidays, school, money and more. This section includes the very helpful "Stepmom's Legal File." The final part, "Is This What I Want?" recognizes that we all reach a "moment of truth" in our stepmotherhood when we have to make the choice to embrace or exit this role. This section helps the reader evaluate her satisfaction and progress with some tough questions about how she really feels.

Mrs. Norwood comforts even the most distraught or confused stepmom, noting that "attitudes conducive to successful stepmotherhood can be learned." She gives us all hope.

An Essential Guide for Anyone
I don't think anyone really knows what they are getting into when they marry a man with children. This book is essential to let you know the challenges and joys ahead and then as a guide of how to get through them. There are a million books to help you help your stepchildren. However, this book offers you the tools you need to help yourself. Little steps on how to build your family from the outset to be a place you can be happy and be yourself. I had a bad night last night. And for a few precious minutes, I read a book that was focussed on me - not as a mother or a wife, but as a person with my own challenges. It offered me peace of mind. And with every new change in my life, I want to reread sections to get the same ideas from a different perspective. This book is a key that can help any stepmother. I can't recommend it enough.

Depressing but Packed With Info
I am on the verge of becoming a Stepmother (should I choose to go forth in my relationship). I know of NO other woman who is in my position. The great thing about this book is that I felt like finally "someone" was on my side, that many things I've felt (frustration, not loving my boyfriend's son or even always liking him, feeling jealous at times that he is more important to his dad than I am) were valid and even common reactions. However, the underlying message of this book seems to be, no matter what you do your step kids will most likely hate you, his ex might hate you, he probably won't support you, and this will continue on into your old age. This book said it wasn't negative, yet I got nothing positive out of it, it seemed that every example used was of an unhappy stepmom, unsupported and practically invisible. And over and over the husband seemed absent, no support to her, not active in the situation. Though my b/f is a VERY hands on father, so I don't have to play the mother role too much, this book left me confused and doubtful that I should even attempt this. So I guess if you want your eyes opened, this book will certainly do it! I just didn't find it very encouraging - perhaps there aren't enough "happy ending" step-marriages to use as examples? That can't be good!