Product Description

The stepmother's role often is ambiguous and under appreciated, and frequently it carries unrealistic expectations. This book answers women's concerns and questions, including: How can I be a caretaker and a key emotional connector in the family if the children don't accept my influence? How should I cope with children who are confused about their family and torn between loyalty to their biological mother and me? When should I step back in conflicts and when should I insist that my husband stand up for me? In addition it addresses the spiritual and emotional climate of the home, providing perspective and guidelines to help stepmothers and their families thrive.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #34943 in Books
• Published on: 2009-10-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780764207020
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Review
"It is hard to imagine a more extensive resource material on this challenging topic of entering into and living out the role of stepmom. Excellent from start to finish, stepmoms (and those who love them) will be comforted, encouraged and energized to stay at the task of rearing, loving and accepting their stepchildren." --Michele Howe, FaithfulReader.com

From the Back Cover
You Can Be a Smart Stepmom In today's complicated stepfamily, the stepmom often doesn't know where to turn for help. Let stepfamily expert Ron Deal and experienced stepmom Laura Petherbridge show you how to survive and thrive as a stepmom, including: How to be a positive influence on children who are torn between loyalty to their biological mom and to you. What to do when you feel ostracized, rejected, or lonely. When and how to step back during conflict and let your husband take the lead. How to handle holidays, adult stepchildren, between-home communication, and much more. Here is the hope, encouragement, and practical information to assure you that you are not alone in the stepmom journey.

About the Author
Ron L. Deal is the founder of Successful Stepfamilies, which empowers stepfamilies toward healthy living and equips churches to minister to their unique needs. Ron is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who frequently appears in national media, including Focus on the Family, HomeWord, Reality Talks, and FamilyLife Today. He speaks at conferences including the National Stepfamily Conference and the American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference. Ron and his wife, Nan, and their three boys live in Amarillo, Texas.

Laura Petherbridge is an international speaker and author of When "I Do" Becomes "I Don't": Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce. She has been featured on Family Life Today, HomeWord, and the Crown Financial Ministries' radio broadcast. Laura is featured on the DivorceCare video series, used by over 12,000 churches worldwide and has taught on divorce recovery at Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando. Laura and her husband, Steve, reside in Lady Lake, Florida.

Customer Reviews

Best I've read...
Despite an at times almost overwhelmingly Christian approach, in terms of practical strategies, a useful overall perspective on stepmotherdom and fantastic insight into the step experience for both kids and stepmums, I found this book to be the single most useful stepparenting guide I've read.

I'm a secular humanist with little time for dogma in any form, so Christian family how-to guides are not at all my thing, but sifting through this book for the "meat" and ignoring the end of chapter prayers and recurrent church/Biblical references was really, really worthwhile.

Interestingly, I certainly would not have bought this book had I realised just how central Christianity was to its ethos, and yet I'm very, very glad I did. Nothing about the Christianity espoused in it was offensive to my feminist secular views - and while the prayers etc where a bit OTT, the insights, especially into kids' experience of divorce, were quite profound.

I feel I'm already stepparenting better for having read this book. Now I just need to get my (fanatically atheistic) partner to read it too...

Practical, Helpful, Readable
This new book is from one of the "experts" on stepfamilies: Ron Deal. Together with co-author Laura Petherbridge, he's written a helpful book for women who are coping with one of the toughest jobs in the world: stepmom!

Let's face it, stepmoms have the most difficult role in a blended family or stepfamily. They are standing in for "real mom" and how can they possibly measure up? It's just incredibly difficult.

Anyone looking for help as a stepmom will definitely find it in this book, or in any other book by Ron Deal. I also recommend any blended family or divorce title by Dr. David and Lisa Frisbie, or by Kevin Leman. You'll value any of these authors on this subject.

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
I also highly recommend: Happily Remarried: Making Decisions Together * Blending Families Successfully * Building a Love That Will Last

Stepmoms will be energized to stay at the task of rearing, loving and accepting their stepchildren
Ron L. Deal, founder of "Successful Stepfamilies" and licensed marriage and family therapist, has teamed up with Laura Petherbridge, author of WHEN "I DO" BECOMES "I DON'T," to develop a comprehensive source of practical insights and step-by-step encouragements for stepmoms. Unlike the stereotypical fairy tale portrayal of the wicked stepmother character, Deal and Petherbridge explain that, in the majority of households, nothing could be further from the truth. The vast majority of stepmoms desire nothing more than to take part in creating a successful marriage and passing on a legacy of loving support to their stepchildren. The glitch, however, is how to move from desire to realization. For most stepmoms, the journey is anything but easy and, as many admit, can be the hardest task for a person to undertake.

The authors realize how difficult this role of "stepmom" can be, and Petherbridge speaks from firsthand experience as she offers her own personal remembrances of being stepmom to her husband's sons. She cites that stepmoms (like every living person) bring to the new marriage their own past experiences, insights and limitations, which must be recognized and acknowledged, otherwise injured feelings and short-circuit relational growth will occur between everyone in the family.

Deal and Petherbridge offer readers (which should include stepmoms, stepdads and every person in the original family unit) great insight and countless practical suggestions for working through every conceivable family dilemma. In the two-section text, stepmoms will gratefully learn that they are not alone in feeling that sudden urge to "run away from home," and that feeling like an "outsider" within the walls of their home is also a common response. Smart stepmoms will learn how valuable it is to understand their spouse's kids, be it the children's loss, grief, or other troubling emotions. Proactive stepmoms will seek to further empathize with stepchildren's expressions of loyalty to their mothers and find ways to help their husbands to parent in an engaged manner.

Stepmoms will likewise be eager to pass along this material to their husbands, where both sexes learn how to team up to make a strong and dynamic bond that will filter down into the lives of their children. In two chapters, Deal and Petherbridge focus specifically on educating dads on the challenges their new wives face as stepmoms and how their words, choices and actions impact the kids and their marriage.

Lest readers forget, ex-wives continue to play a significant role in the stepmoms' lives and will always do so (the authors even explain how this is true when the first wife is now deceased but her memory lives on). What happens during holiday, vacations and the ominous Mother's Day? Read on to discover the most effective and kindest avenues for making, creating and establishing new traditions that will warm everyone's hearts. It is hard to imagine a more extensive resource material on this challenging topic of entering into and living out the role of stepmom. Excellent from start to finish, stepmoms (and those who love them) will be comforted, encouraged and energized to stay at the task of rearing, loving and accepting their stepchildren.

--- Reviewed by Michele Howe