Product Description

A candid (albeit at times tongue-in-cheek) expose of the challenges of remarriage, told from the second wife's perspective. Unlike books written by those who have never experienced being a second wife, the author of Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives is an ex-wife, a second wife, a bio-mom, and a stepmother. Reading this book is like sitting down with an old friend - a remarried friend who knows first-hand what you are going through. You will come away with the assurance that you are not alone in your struggles as a second wife. Even more, you will know that it is not you that is crazy, but rather the crazy-making situation called remarriage.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #88182 in Books
• Published on: 2004-08
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 128 pages

About the Author
Paula Egner has authored many on-line articles about remarriage, stepparenting, and life as a second wife. She is currently working on her second book on remarriage. She is also the author of - If There Be None - a women's mainstream novel (available on Amazon.com).

Customer Reviews

No Your Not Crazy...Next-Wife Feelings Are Common
If you are a "next-wife" seeking validation for the assault of feelings that invade your sensibilities after saying "I do," then "Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife" by Paula Egner offers a shoulder to lean on. At only 125-pages, this little manifesto for next wives packs a punch (and even features women in boxing gloves on its cover). It reviews some of the common weebie-jeebies next-wives face - dealing with the grandmother who has photos of your husband and his ex-wife all over the living room, the feelings common to stepparents, handling hostile in-laws, living in his ex-wife's house, and managing the antagonistic ex who manipulates her children to spy on you and your spouse. Unfortunately it seemed like some of the anecdotes Egner drew from real step-couples had marriages ending in divorce - not a cheery thought indeed. Strategies for coping suggested here are minimal but helpful. If you have the stepmom-next-wife blues and need to hear a small voice to assure you that no, you are not losing it and your feelings are normal, this is the ticket.

The last one wins. . . .
I had really been struggling w/ my boyfriends ex wife and his ex life. When I seen this book I knew I had to get it and I am glad I did. So many things in the book were exactly what I had been going through. This book not only helps you learn how to cope and deal w/ your significant other's past but it also helps validate your feelings. I got a peace of mind from this book realizing that it was not just me. That the things I have been experiencing are normal and to be expected. I also let my boyfriend read it so that he could see and understand for himself what I go through. The book is well written and blunt, the author does not sugar coat the issues, which I like. The book will help you realize that it does not matter that there was one (or however many) before you, all that matters are you are here now. The book said something that I had never really thought about before and that is the fact that although I may never be the first wife I can be the last and that is all that matters. I would encourage anyone who is having to deal w/ an ex wife and an ex life to read this book.

Greatly recommended
I was never married but my husband was twice-divorced with two kids when we met. His first wife with whom he did not have any kids was a mature and decent woman. His second was a nightmare. Their marriage was doomed from the beginning because of the disparity in temperament and intellect. My husband was single for six years when we got married.

Well, I lived in hell for the first two years of my marriage. I was all confused, miserable, and was at a loss as to how to deal with the situation before I read this book. Knowing that there are others facing the same situation and that I was not responsible for my husband's ex and his kids' behavior made me feel stronger. I now put my boundaries firmly for my husband, his over-spoiled kids, and his wicked ex-wife. Things are under control and we live in relative peace now. My advice to women contemplating marriage to men with kids is that BEFORE MARRIAGE make sure that:
1. he puts his priorities right (his life partner should be his first priority)
2. he is supportive of you
3. he has a healthy relationship with his kids which involves love, respect, structure and discipline
4. he is firm with his ex
5. he and you see eye to eye with each other's expectations of marriage
Never, ever marry an over-indulgent father with a bitter ex-wife in the background, unless you are seeking martyrdom, not happiness and companionship. If he cannot keep his baggage from his previous relationships under control, the marriage is not worth saving. Get out while you can and learn from the experience. Remember, only "he" can keep his house in order, not you. And contrary to what some people believe, it's the ex-wives who have to bend over backwards to get along with new wives so that these new wives will treat their step-kids right. That is, if these ex-wives' priority is their children's happiness. It is completely unacceptable for ex-wives to take out their bitterness and failures on their ex-husbands by turning their kids against their fathers, using their kids for emotional blackmail, and sabotaging their ex-husbands' new marriages by creating havoc in their households. If you are caught in an unhappy situation like this, just look into yourself, see how much you can take, and set appropriate boundaries to keep your sanity and happiness. Don't be overly concerned with what others might think. You can succeed if your husband is with you. If he is not with you, again, the marriage is not worth saving.