Product Description

"Genius! Highly entertaining and brilliantly deranged."—Maxim

Spam is the plague of the electronic age, comprising 90% of all e-mails and illegally netting millions of dollars each year. Into this frustrating wave of directed marketing steps the brave figure of Bob Servant, a former window cleaner and cheeseburger magnate with a love of wine, women, and song—as well as a devious sense of fair play.

In collusion with his "editor" Neil Forsyth, Bob gives spammers a taste of their own medicine. This wickedly funny and original book features the anarchic exchanges between Bob and the hapless spam merchants who unwittingly flood his inbox. As they offer him African fortunes, Russian brides, and get-rich-quick scams, he turns the tables by offering them some outlandish schemes of his own. Upping the ante with the skill of a seasoned pro, Bob demands legal asylum, shoulders to cry on, and gold lions that speak—and almost gets his way. The result is page after page of wacky and hilarious e-mail exchanges—and a cathartic release for anyone whose inbox has been deluged with unwanted e-mail. 22 b/w photographs.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #340941 in Books
• Published on: 2008-05-20
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 176 pages

Review
Author Bob Servant found a new way to deal with spam....Servant's communiques may inspire you to come up with your own creative responses. -- --Wired

You'll find yourself laughing out loud as the spammer scrambles to meet Servant's increasingly ludicrous demands....Getting even never felt so good. -- --Zink

About the Author
Bob Servant has worked as a merchant sailor, among other occupations, but now describes himself as an "unemployed gigolo." He lives in Scotland.

Customer Reviews

Absurdity Fights Spam
Almost thirty years ago, William Donaldson, using the pen name Henry Root, produced a few books of letters he had written to important people or companies and the replies he had gotten. He wrote outlandish and silly suggestions, and it was funny to read the replies back, most of which took his letters seriously, which made them all the funnier. It was, however, a little mean; the respondents were probably in their respective public relations departments and had to take Root's inquiries seriously at the risk of offending a customer. Such tricking of well-meaning clerks was thus morally questionable, but no one ought to fret over the same sorts of tricks being played now thirty years later on e-mail spammers, who deserve to be the butt of any pranks anyone on the internet can devise. Scotsman Bob Servant is just the prankster for the job, and in _Delete This at Your Peril: One Man's Hilarious Exchanges with Internet Spammers_ (Skyhorse Publishing) he has presented to us eight of his recent skirmishes, e-mails back and forth that confuse, anger, and waste the time of the spammers who have attempted to get his money. Servant seems to be, in the tradition of Henry Root, a pseudonymic creation of Neil Forsyth, who has written the introduction to the book describing the author. Forsyth explains that Bob Servant lives in the Dundee suburb of Broughty Ferry and is "a former window cleaner and cheeseburger magnate" who pals around with Tommy Peanuts, Chappy Williams, and Frank Theplank ("Frank the Plank"), who are sometimes pulled into the e-mail action transcribed here. Servant's book is laugh-out-loud funny, as he takes his new e-pals on aberrant and bizarre twists of correspondence, and anyone who hates spam will find his efforts not just amusing but inspiring.

The title of the book comes from a 419 scammer who sent his first e-mail with that line as the subject. The mail was from "His Royal Highnest Jack Thomson" whose father "King Arawi of tribal land" was poisoned for his wealth, which his Highnest is ready to share with Bob Servant at the rate of 25%. "Good morning your Majesty," comes Bob's terse reply, "I want 30% and not a penny less." By the time Bob has readjusted his desire up to 40%, he is also requesting to be paid in lions, as cash is too dangerous, and helpfully suggests to his new friend Jack that Frank the Plank once saw a talking lion on the television, and could Jack get one of those? Jack says one of the lions talks a little, whereupon Bob pounces, "I'm not sure about a lion that only talks a little, I'd like one that isn't so shy, if possible?" Jack replies, "Now you are saying the lion has to talk? What is this madness? Send me the £1700 that we agreed imeediately." Bob is undeterred: "What does the lion say when it talks. I am just checking that it won't get me into any fights." After delaying a reply, Bob goes on to apologize, "Sorry about the delay. I was round at Frank's earlier and got stuck up a tree whilst chasing a snake, then fell off and banged my head on a chicken. You know what it's like." There are ten further volleys in this insane e-mail conversation before it ends, with no money going to Jack and no lions to Bob. The other exchanges collected here are just as silly. When his new Russian girlfriend expresses some doubts that he is being serious with her, he replies, "What kind of weirdo would spend all this time emailing you if they were not serious?"

Indeed. Weirdo or not, Bob Servant/ Neil Forsyth deserves our thanks for his efforts in the war against spam, and for making them available to us in this absurdly hilarious collection. If you hate spam, it will be all the funnier imagining the targets of Bob's furious nonsense scratching their heads at the meandering replies after their initial certainty that they have hooked a likely meal ticket. One final reply comes from Nigeria when it has eventually dawned on the spammer that no money is going to be forthcoming and a good deal of time has been spent reading nonsense: "YOU ARE A STUPID MAN". Not a chance of it; deranged, perhaps, but Bob Servant is far from stupid. It is a pleasure to see such hilarity marshaled against foes who so deserve it.

Making Spam Fun
With the internet age has come all kinds of wonderful new convinces we now rely on every day. But with every plus comes a minus, and for most of us that minus is spam. Every morning, I hate wading through the massive amount of e-mails I get that I'm not even interested in reading.

One man decided to have some fun, however. And we get to share that fun because of this book. "Bob Servant" (and the observant person will pick up on that name faster than I did) decided to reply to some of his spam and see how long he could drag out the exchanges without the other side catching on or giving up. Here in, we get eight such exchanges and the results are hilarious.

Most of these e-mails start out all too familiar. There's the African native who needs Bob to get money out of the country. Theirs the Chinese company looking for a local person in Scotland to help with local payments. And there's Alexandria, who is more interested in Scottish men than her native Russians.

But what follows is anything but routine. It's hard to describe just how great this book because half the fun is watching how the events unfold. Twice, Bob turns a job offer into a potential job for the spammer when he pretends to be interested in buying a painting or a bunch of pots.

But my favorite exchanges cross the line into the absurd. Some of these involve wild animals and the postman. But that's all I'm going to say. Well, that and it reveals just how desperate the criminal spammers are to get the information they need. They are certainly persistent. And rather stupid themselves.

I've got to give the author credit. He has created a great world you real get involved in. In each exchange we get to see a different side of Bob and his friends. They provide half the fun.

While most of these exchanges are wonderful, I did think a couple went on too long. And they weren't quite the mostly clean stuff I normally enjoy reading. But that didn't dampen my enjoyment for long.

Ironically enough, I got this book because I replied to a spam e-mail from the author. And I'm glad I did. If you need a release from the constant attack of spam, this book is perfect for you.

Wonderful!
Bob Servant, Delete This at Your Peril: One Man's Hilarious Exchanges with Internet Spammers (Skyhorse Publishing, 2008)

One of my rules of thumb is to take books whose subtitles contain value judgments with a grain of salt. The hilarious is never as hilarious as one would expect from the book's flashy title. I am happy to report that Delete This at Your Peril is that rara-est of avis-es: an exception to the rule. This slim book, which is composed almost completely of the promised email exchanges (with some footnoting from Neil Forsyth, author of Other Peoples' Money, who helped Bob whip the book into shape-- the footnotes are sometimes just as funny), is often the kind of laugh-out-loud gigglefest that will cause people to look askance at you on the bus. In each of the eight episodes here, Servant starts out by responding to a spammer as if he's seriously interested, then gets more and more absurd in his emails until they finally get frustrated and blow up at him. It's a wonderful hobby, and more people should do things like this-- and then write books about them. I have now become a huge Bob Servant fan, and as soon as he gives me his bank account details, I'll tell the world so. ****