Product Description

Approximately 50 percent of American adults are single. Many of them don’t feel as though they fit in at church. Some wonder what they did wrong to miss the person they were supposed to marry. If they’re divorced, they may carry a burden of guilt and lies. They’re lonely, and many believe they’ve missed God’s greatest blessing for their lives. They want to be content but don’t think it’s possible. For some, singleness means fear, grief, and jealousy.

If you are single and struggling with its attendant "stigma," The Single Truth offers you God’s liberating truths about singleness. Lori Smith clears away the fog and lies surrounding singleness and challenges you to live a full life and to see your singleness as a part of God’s good plan. She powerfully affirms that:

* You’re OK just the way you are.

* You have no need to be ashamed.

* You are deeply loved by God.

* Marriage isn’t better or worse—it’s different.

* You can be content.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #525669 in Books
• Published on: 2002-09-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 176 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780768430042
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Review
"Her advice is practical, challenging, and encouraging. An excellent addition to the body of Christian work about the single life." -- CCM Magazine, October 2002

"This book rocks! If you're struggling with being single, you need to read this book." -- Ben Young, author and host of Single Connection

"This book rocks! If you're struggling with being single, you need to read this book." -- Ben Young, author and host of the nationally syndicated

About the Author
Lori Smith works and writes in northern Virginia, where she hikes in the Shenandoahs, frequents a local ballet studio, and throws the occasional pity party in the midst of her otherwise contented thirty-something single life. She writes regularly for Crosswalk.com. Her writing has also appeared in Today's Christian Woman and Christian Single Magazine.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
"Last weekend, when I turned off the TV and had some time to think, I came to peace about something." Brian spoke slowly, but deliberately. "I came to peace with the fact that I'm just not ready to be married yet. Honestly, I just can't see myself getting married anytime in the next two years."

Brian and I had been dating for over a year. As I listened, I felt my soul pulling away, like when you drew in your breath after you skinned your knee when you were a kid. For a minute, you didn't feel any pain; you were just stunned.

A wave of grief and loneliness was building just in front of me, ready to swallow me, and I couldn't get away.

I sat there, trying to get the world to stop spinning, trying to comprehend the weight of what was just spoken.

After several minutes, I spoke, sensing that the words didn't come from me but from God. "Well, it was a good year."

"Yeah, it was a great year. It was a great year." From the look on his face, he meant every word.

Finally, the tears came. We sat in silence for a long time. I followed Brian numbly into the kitchen as he put up his glass, and then we prayed. We sat awkwardly on the stairs of the townhouse. We didn't touch, but it was enough to be there together, praying, thanking God for His blessings, grace, and guidance, asking for His strength.

"Talk to you later." With that, he shut the door. I stood there leaning against the corner for the next five minutes. I was still numb; I couldn't comprehend how I would survive the days and weeks and years that stretched bleakly in front of me.

I had never experienced that kind of pain. I felt like the foundation of my world had collapsed, and I couldn't break my fall.

That following Sunday, my pastor preached a message that seemed to be aimed directly at me. It was about the peace of God and the hope we can have in the worst situation when we know God is using it for our good, making something beautiful with it. With that message, God gave me hope that would carry me through the dark days to come. He would use this loss to carve away at my black heart and make me more like Him. Something new would be born in me-a new peace, a new humility, a more genuine love. In spite of all this-through all this-God would work good, and He would make me a little more right in the process. I held on to that promise.

I don't remember much about the next few months except that they were dark. The healing process was predictable only in the fact that it was unpredictable. I wrote in my journal:

Just when I think I'll never be done with it, I'm suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of peace and light and direction. I have a strength I didn't know I had. Then, other times, I'm strong and sure, when I'm hit square between the eyes with the worst kind of pain. It still takes my breath away, and literally makes me feel like I'll throw up. It's been just over a month. It feels like so much longer.

When I was down in the worst places, I knew hope would break through. And when I was strong, I knew terrible pain would come.

Before Brian and I started going out, I had come to a place in life where I was content. It hadn't been easy-and the battle hadn't been completely won-but I was delighting in God as I never had before. Life was joyful, in spite of singleness. God's love filled my life.

I'm finding it hard to recover that contentment.

My natural, systemic worry is fueled by the gray hair that's becoming more noticeable and by an intense gnawing doubt that perhaps I'll never marry. I was designed to get married and have a family; it's built into my nature. I may never realize that dream. The potential loss is monumental. On my bad days, I don't know if I can live with that kind of disappointment and still keep my faith.

Is it possible to find victory here? It must be, with God's help.

If I'm not able to relinquish this dream, I'm afraid I'll be spiritually and emotionally crippled. God has to be able to get me past this.

At the same time, I feel rather foolish for feeling this pain so deeply. So many people out there have hurt much more than I have. I have a wonderful family and good friends; my needs are met more than abundantly.

Yet, I have the gall to be depressed about being single? It seems selfish and petty. God has given me so much-am I going to hold this against Him?

However small this issue may seem, for me it is a deeply personal and private pain. And the more single men and women I talk to, the more convinced I am that I'm not alone.

I hope this journey together leads us closer to wholeness, peace, and an intimate knowledge of God.

Customer Reviews

And that's the truth!
Finally! A Christian book on singlehood that isn't preachy, sugar-coated, or a thinly-disguised how-to-catch-a-spouse book (Smith states at the beginning, "as if a relationship begun by such a method would be worth having"--right on!) She attacks some of the well-meaning but wrong, and sometimes hurtful, statements from others about our singleness, such as "I know God has just the right man for you, you'll meet him someday" ....None of us knows God's plans for our friends. Or, "God must have something more to teach you". Really? Is spiritual maturity a necessity for marriage? It's not in my church!

She also points out how we tend to trivialize two of the most powerful verses in the Bible: Psalm 37:4 ("Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart"); and Jeremiah 29:11("I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"). By focusing on these verses alone and ignoring the context (David's exaltation not to fret, to trust God, to obey him; Jeremiah's missive to the captives in Babylon telling them God wants them to stay for a while, and to never forget his future plans for the nation of Israel are always good), we trivialize the verses and turn them into sayings that will somehow magically make everything better. Smith goes on to remind us how these verses do show what God does provide when we feel like we are in a holding pattern, something much better than a magic "spell".

I, like Smith, have sometimes loved being single, and sometimes hurt deeply wondering why God has "forgotten" me in this area. I found this book to be empathic but not enabling, true to Biblical principals, and very well written. A special blessing: Smith doesn't leave out widow/ers, single parents, or divorce/es, which, sadly, many Christian books on singlehood do. She also doesn't assume her audience stops after 35. And this 41 year old is very grateful.

Finally, the TRUTH about singleness in God's Kingsdom!
As an author whose writes about singleness and the Christian life, I've had occasion to read a LOT of books on singles and singleness (an occupational hazzard). Lori Smith's The Single Truth is by far the best book on the subject that I have ever picked up. In a style that is at once emotionally honest and vulnerable, yet thoroughly grounded in God's Word, Lori carries us along on her own personal (yet universal) journey as a Christian single who's disillusioned with a God who fails to do for us the things we think He should. In her quest for understanding, she moves us from a place of desperation to faith, loneliness to community, falsehood to life-giving truth.

There isn't a single anywhere (man or woman) who won't immediately relate to Lori's honest account of her struggles as a single. Her brazen honesty is refreshing--but she doesn't stop there. She goes beyond the struggle to search for genuine, realistic answers in God's Word...and she finds them. The biblical truths she shares aren't simplistic and they aren't churchy; they're real, perhaps even gritty. And they're powerful.

If you're looking for a book that encourages you to wallow in self-pity, or simply rants along with you about what a rotten hand you've been dealt in this life, then this isn't the book for you. But if you're really looking for a way out of the quiet despair that plagues so many singles, then Lori's book is the place you should begin.

Single Truth is for Everyone
I was single until 33 and read many books on relationships and singleness. This is the first one I've read devoted to being content as a single. Even though I'm married now, I can definitely relate to this book. I highly recommend this for both single men and women (don't let the cover fool you), as well as married couples. It provides a fresh perspective on being content at where you're at. Many singles are so focused on dating and getting married that they forget God's perspective. Please check this out no matter what your gender or marital status!