Product Description

When experienced parents decide to adopt an older child or a sibling group, they jump through all kinds of bureaucratic hoops background checks, interviews, group meetings, reading assignments, classes, etc. But most often the typically developing children these adults are already parenting (whether through birth or adoption) are left out of the process, informed that a new kid is coming, and simply expected to adjust to the addition of a sibling.

Adding a child with a history of neglect or trauma cannot be a seamless transition. The expectations of everyone involved parents, new siblings, and, yes, the professionals facilitating the adoption must be realistic, taking into account that the new child will need special attention and services that may take away time and attention from the already resident kids, that family life is likely to be turned topsy- turvy until appropriate counseling and support are in place, that relationships will change.

Therapist Arleta James is certainly not the first person to recognize this, but she is the first to do something about it. Brothers and Sisters and Adoption offers insights and examples and sturdy, practical, proven tools for helping newly configured families prepare, accept, react, and mobilize to become a new and different family meeting the practical, physical and emotional needs of all its members. These well prepared and supported families are the ones who thrive!

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #126477 in Books
• Published on: 2009-04-15
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 544 pages

Review
Don t be fooled by the title! Yes, this book is about brothers and sisters but it is also a most comprehensive look at adoption. The title could just as easily be Realistic Expectations About Adoption, hearing the stories of all members of the family. It explores pre and post-adoption as well as the psychological time-line of moving from immobilization to mobilization, and it includes many resources that would benefit all members of the adoptive family. Being comprehensive, it explores strengths and weaknesses, joys and challenges, moms and dads, brothers and sisters. This book should be an important guide for assisting families in making their ongoing journey of adoption.
Dan Hughes, Ph.D.
Therapist and speaker
Author of Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children, Attachment-focused Family Therapy, and Facilitating Developmental Attachment: The Road to Emotional Recovery and Behavioral Change in Foster and Adopted Children
Pennsylvania --Advance Reader/Reviewer

Therapist James, who has many years of experience as an adoption professional, presents a superb, exhaustive handbook on adoption that fills a void in the literature. She focuses on issues surrounding families, with children who are flourishing, considering adopting children who have experienced complex trauma, including abuse, neglect, or abandonment. She delves deeply into the mental health issues of these children, which can be complicated by the existence of other adopted children. She concentrates on navigating the emotionally trying dynamics of the relationships among children who are thriving and those who are struggling, underscoring the needs of the typically developing children. Throughout the book, James includes stories of the adoptive families she has helped in her sessions. Numerous additional appendixes include a super preadoptive training model for typically developing children, an adoptive family safety contract, and an extensive listing of additional resources. This scholarly review of the adoptive literature combined with solid, pragmatic, and professional advice is a superb guide to a specialized topic. Required reading for all helping professionals working with child protective services or with adoptive families."
Dale Farris, Groves, TX --Library Journal 2/15/2009

What a courageous treatment of the issues in adoption. Arleta James dares to talk about the day the family becomes immobilized-that dark secret in child welfare that only the families themselves have, in the past, seemed capable of acknowledging openly. After walking with the reader through those depleting and terrifying days, she takes us to re-mobilization and renewal. She gets us to the place that families want to be, without overlooking the excruciatingly tough middle part.


Michael Trout, Director

Infant-Parent Institute

Champaign, IL

Don t let the title of this book fool you! Arleta James has written a book not just about Brothers and Sisters in Adoption, but about the dynamics of any family formed by adoption. This approach to how a child s past influences his blending into family dynamics is comprehensive, yet not bogged down with academic details. Examples from Arleta s work as an attachment therapist are interwoven into the narrative to enrich this thorough, yet fast read. If you are working with families as they start the adoption process, put this at the top of the reading list. If you are a family seeking to grow through adoption, read this now, then again and again. If your family was formed through adoption years ago, this book will help you navigate the challenges of growing together as a family. This is an important tool for all who work in adoption to have at the forefront of one s professional and personal library.


Deborah Borchers, MD

International Adoption Pediatrician
and Adoptive Parent
Cincinnati --Advance Readers/Reviewers

About the Author
Arleta M. James, MS, PCC, has been an adoption professional for a dozen years. She spent several years as a caseworker for the Pennsylvania Statewide Adoption Network placing foster children with adoptive families and then as the statewide Matching Specialist. She now works as a therapist providing services for attachment difficulties, childhood trauma and issues related to adoption. She was the 1999 Pennsylvania Adoption Professional of the Year. She is currently on staff at the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio.

Customer Reviews

Essential reading for adoptive families
As the adoptive mom of four, all I can say is, boy I wish this book had been available when our family was growing through adoption. We didn't know what we didn't know and could have made transitions and family development so very much better. The wits to explain what to expect to the children already in the family when a new sibling arrives come with this supportive book. Brothers and Sisters in Adoption also seems especially great at working with parental guilt over not being able to immediately cure a child who brings the burdens of mental illness or at the least, a history of traumatic change. No sugar coating, this is a must read for any family growing through adoption. Arleta M. James has produced a handbook that is invaluable.

Highly recommended reading for anyone one considering the adoption of older children, distressed children, and siblings
Often the question of adoption will involve siblings. When experienced parents consider adopting an older child or a sibling group they must go through a series of requirements imposed by adoption agencies that will include background checks, interviews, group meetings, reading assignments, as well as classes in parenting and the problems associated with adopted children. Often the children themselves with have a history of neglect or trauma that must be addressed. Drawing upon her many years of experience and expertise as a Cleveland, Ohio-based clinical therapist whose specialty is adoption and foster care, Arleta James has authored "Brothers And Sisters In Adoption: Helping Children Navigate Relationships When New Kids Join The Family", a compendium of advise, counsel, information, and commentary that deals with a roster of vital issues ranging from developing realistic expectations about the adoption process and the readiness of the family to adopt siblings; the role of fathers in adoptive families; as well as child displacement, disruption and dissolution issues. Of special note are the chapters on family mobilization and issues related to adopted children turning 18 and becoming adults in their own right. Enhanced with a glossary, references, an index, and a number of pertinent appendices, "Brothers And Sisters In Adoption" is highly recommended reading for anyone one considering the adoption of older children, distressed children, and siblings, making it an ideal and invaluable addition to personal, academic, community library, and adoption agency reference shelves.

LIVING IT ! ONE DAY AT A TIME
This is a must read for every adoptive & foster parent.A book that should
be a mandated read for those entering into foster parenting & adoption.A
handbook for those professionals that care for & work with these children,
from caseworkers,counselers,therapists,teachers, etc...I personaly have
witnessed the lack of knowledge by professionals (all of the above)in the
area's that Arleta James addresses in this very informative & priceless book.My wife & I have been thru many professionals in these areas, & have
fought with many professionals,& government agencies to get understanding
& help for our children.We have fought hard, long, & often to obtain the
help our children & family has needed over the last 5yrs.The knowledge Arleta presents to us in this book, consists of a dedicated, caring,
remarkable profession, that has taken on the responsability of helping these children & families.I speak personally when I say Arleta James can
help all of us in understanding,& to successfully work our way through the trials & tribulations associated with these issues.Our family would
like to say " THANK YOU ARLETA " for helping all who read this insightful
well writen book.THANK YOU!!!!

BRIAN CUCKLER SR. & FAMILY

East Sparta,Ohio