Product Description

Meeting the needs of a generation overwhelmed by divorce odds, relationship experts Les & Leslie Parrott share seven key questions to help couples identify and overcome stumbling blocks to a building a healthy, lifelong marriage.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #5295 in Books
• Published on: 2006-10-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 176 pages

From the Back Cover
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, created by relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, is a comprehensive marriage program designed specifically for today’s couples by a couple. And now, in this updated edition, the Parrotts’ award-winning approach has been expanded to incorporate ten more years of feedback, research, and professional experience.

This is more than a book—it’s practically a self-guided premarital counseling course, and it is used by counselors and churches across the country and, now in ten languages, worldwide. Questions at the end of every chapter help you explore each topic personally. Companion men’s and women’s workbooks* full of self-tests and exercises help you apply what you learn and enjoy intimate discussions along the way. There is even a seven-session DVD kit (with a bonus session for people entering a second marriage) available that you can use on your own or with other couples in a group or a class that want to grow together. In this dynamic DVD you’ll not only hear entertaining and insightful teaching from The Parrotts, but you’ll also meet other real-life couples who provide amazing candor and perspective.

Relationship experts Les and Leslie Parrott show you the secrets to building a marriage that lasts.
• Uncover the most important misbeliefs of marriage
• Learn how to communicate with instant understanding
• Discover the secret to reducing and resolving conflict
• Master the skills of money management
• Get your sex life off to a great start
• Understand the three essential ingredients to lasting love
• Discover the importance of becoming “soul mates” … and more.
Make your marriage everything it is meant to be. Save your marriage—before (and after) it starts.

About the Author
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of RealRelationships.com and the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. Their bestselling books include Love Talk, Your Time Starved Marriage, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Their work has been featured in the New York Times and USA Today and they have appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, and Oprah.

Les y Leslie Parrott son codirectores del Centro de Desarrollo de relaciones en la Universidad Seattle Pacific (SPU, por sus siglas en inglés). Les Parrott es profesor de sicología clínica en SPU y Leslie es terapeuta de matrimonios y familiar en SPU. Los doctores Parrotts son autores de Cuando pasan cosas malas en matrimonios buenos y otros más. Ellos sirven de embajadores para la Iniciativa de Matrimonios (un programa que tiene diez años), del gobernador del Estado de Oklahoma. Residen con su hijo en Seattle, Washington.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
Copyright © 1995, 2006 by Les and Leslie Parrott
This title is also available as a Zondervan audio product.
Visit www.zondervan.com/audiopages for more information.
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Parrott, Les.
Saving your marriage before it starts : seven questions to ask before — and after — you
marry / Les & Leslie Parrott. — Expanded and updated ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN-13: 978-0-310-25982-4
ISBN-10: 0-310-25982-7
1. Marriage. 2. Marriage — Religious aspects — Christianity. 3. Married people —
Psychology. I. Parrott, Leslie L., 1964– II. Title.
HQ734.P22 2006
646.7'8 — dc22
2006005251
This edition printed on acid-free paper.
Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: Today’s New
International Version®. TNIV®. Copyright © 2002, 2004 by International Bible Society. Used by
permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked CEV are from the Contemporary English Version © 1991, 1992,
1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.
The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These
websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of Zondervan,
nor do we vouch for their content for the life of this book.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or
any other — except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the
publisher.
Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP, Attorneys and Counselors, Suite 1000, Literary
Agent, Orange, CA.
Interior design by Beth Shagene
Printed in the United States of America
06 07 08 09 10 11 12 • 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Before You Begin
We never had premarital counseling, but we spent the first year of our
married life in therapy. Once a week, we met with a counselor who
helped us iron out the wrinkles we never even saw before getting married. Not
that we were in serious trouble. But we had this naïve idea
that after our wedding our life would fall naturally into place, and a
marriage preparation course or counseling never entered our minds. We had dated for six years before our nine-month engagement, and
we had a lot in common (even our first names). We simply thought
we would tie the proverbial knot, set up house, and as the fairy tales
say, “live happily ever after.”
But we didn’t. The first years of marriage were difficult right from
the start. Literally. In the limousine ride away from the church, as
both of us waved good-bye to our family and friends through the back
window, I (Leslie) began to cry.
“What’s wrong?” Les asked.
I kept crying and didn’t answer.
“Are you happy or sad?” Les put his arm around my shoulders and
waited for a reply. When I didn’t answer, he asked again, “What’s
going on inside you?”
“I don’t know,” I whimpered. “I don’t know.”
Les gave me a squeeze with his arm. I knew I was hurting him, but
I didn’t know what to say or why I was feeling so sad.
Except for the clanging of the tin cans behind us, the ride to the
airport that afternoon, June 30, 1984, was quiet. As we waited for
14 Before You Begin
our flight in a smoke-filled terminal at O’Hare Airport, both of us
felt hazy about what we had just been through. Were we really married?
It didn’t feel like it. We were newlyweds, but we felt more like
refugees.
After boarding the plane, we fell into our seats, exhausted. So
much time and energy had led up to that wedding ceremony. And
it had gone as planned. But now what? Both of us sat on the plane,
emotionally spent, quietly pondering the meaning of marriage. What
was it all about, this marriage? Why didn’t I feel any different? Who
was this person I married, really?
For Better or Worse?
Let’s be honest. The “till death do us part” statement of the marriage
vow rings increasingly ironic. In the 1930s, one out of seven marriages
ended in divorce. In the 1960s, it was one out of four. Of the 2.4
million couples
who will get married this year in the United States,
it is predicted that at least 43 percent will not survive. For too many
couples,
marriage has become “till divorce do us part.”1
Every couple
marrying today is at risk. More than two-hundred
thousand new marriages each year end prior to the couple’s
second
anniversary. After they toss the bouquet and return the tuxedos,
couples
often assume they’re headed for marital bliss. But a study of
those who recently tied the knot revealed that 49 percent reported
having serious marital problems. Half were already having doubts
about whether their marriages would last.2
The truth is, most engaged couples
prepare more for their wedding
than they do for their marriage. The $50-billion-a-year wedding
industry can testify to that fact. According to experts, the average
two-hundred guest wedding today costs twenty-two thousand dollars.
3 More than one million copies of bridal magazines are sold each
month, focusing mainly on wedding ceremonies, honeymoons, and
home furnishings — but not on marriage itself.
Before You Begin 15
Looking back, it seems silly that Les and I did so much to prepare
for our wedding and so little to prepare for our marriage. But the
truth is that less than a fifth of all marriages in America are preceded
by some kind of formal marriage preparation.4
One wonders what would be the effect if the same amount of time,
energy, and money spent on the ceremony was invested in the marriage. Planning
the perfect wedding too often takes precedence over
planning a successful marriage. And lack of planning is the ultimate
saboteur of marriage.
The wedding-bell blues are common after the excitement of an
elaborate wedding celebration. “The emotional high of ordering
engraved invitations, selecting music for the ceremony, and choosing
a china pattern took my attention off the big picture,” a young bride
told us. “The ceremony was more tangible and less of a gamble than
the marriage. I put my energy into the wedding and hoped for the
best.” For too long the trend has been to fall in love, marry, and hope
for the best.
This book offers a different approach.
How to Predict a Happy Marriage
Over the last three decades, marriage specialists have researched the
ingredients of a happy marriage. As a result, we know more about
building a successful marriage today than ever before. For example,
happily married couples
will have:
• healthy expectations of marriage
• a realistic concept of love
• a positive attitude and outlook toward life

Customer Reviews

Great Book
My Girlfriend and I are going through this book and it has helped us think through many issues that we would not have thought of. SYMBIS has tons of good insight and advice

CD Player wouldn't read 1st CD
The first CD of the 4-CD set wouldn't read in my car radio, so I started with #2. This book came highly recommended, and I drive so much I thought I'd try a book on tape. It is in fact a really great book (so far), and it's nice to have it read by the people who actually wrote the book...it's very hard to misinterpret anything in the book. I think I will have to buy the print version though...I find it a little hard to really absorb what's being said while driving.

excellent study for ALL couples
We're using this book in a Couples Sunday School Class as a study guide and are working through the chapters and workbook questions together. It's true that more planning goes into the wedding than the marriage. Sooner or later we have to put work into the marriage to make it work and to enjoy the fullness of the union got intended. Well written. Thought provoking.