Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress
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Average customer review:Product Description
Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians functioned in separate worlds. But in today's hectic and career-oriented environment, relationships have become a lot more complicated, and men and women are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. To add to the increasing tension, most men and women are also completely unaware that they are actually hardwired to react differently to the stress. It's a common scenario: a husband returns home from work stressed out and eager to kick back on the couch and watch television. A wife returns home from work stressed out and wants to talk about it with her husband. What happens? Neither is on the same page, anger and resentment set in, and Mars and Venus collide.
Using his signature insight that has helped millions of couples transform their relationships, John Gray once again arms the inhabitants of Mars and Venus with information that will help them live harmoniously ever after. In Why Mars and Venus Collide, Gray focuses on the ways that men and women misinterpret and mismanage the stress in their daily lives, and how these reactions ultimately affect their relationships. "It's not that he's just not into you; he needs to fulfill a biological need," Gray explains. "And it's not that she wants to henpeck you; she also has a biological drive." He shows, for instance, how a husband's withdrawal is actually a natural way for him to replenish his depleted testosterone levels and restore his well-being, and how a woman's need for conversation and support helps her build her own stress-reducing hormone, oxytocin.
Backed up by groundbreaking scientific research, Gray offers a clear, easy-to-understand program to bridge the gap between the two planets, providing effective communication strategies that will actually lower stress levels. Whether in a relationship or single, this book will help both men and women understand their new roles in a modern, work-oriented society, and allow them to discover a variety of new and practical ways to create a lifetime of love and harmony.
Product Details
- Amazon Sales Rank: #46959 in Books
- Published on: 2009-01-01
- Released on: 2008-12-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
Features
- ISBN13: 9780061242977
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
- Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices
Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com Review
Amazon.com Exclusive: Notes on Why Mars & Venus Collide by John Gray
Over the last fifty years, life has become more complicated. Longer working hours, intensified by grueling commutes and more traffic, the increased cost of housing, food, and health care, rising credit card debt, and the combined responsibilities of work and childcare in two-career families are only a few of the sources of stress in our fast-paced modern lives. In spite of the new technologies designed to connect us, information overload and round-the-clock accessibility via the Internet and cell phones have reduced much of our communication to the equivalent of text messaging. We are stretched to the limit, with little energy for our personal lives. Despite increased independence and opportunities for success at work, we are often left with a sense of isolation and exhaustion at home.
The unprecedented levels of stress both men and women are experiencing is taking a toll on our romantic relationships. Whether single or in committed relationships, we are often too busy or too tired to sustain feelings of attraction, motivation, and affection. Everyday stress drains our energy and patience and leaves us feeling too exhausted or overwhelmed to enjoy and support each other.
We are often too busy to see what is obvious. A man will give his heart and soul to make enough money to provide for his family and return home too tired even to talk with them. A woman will give and give to support her husband and children and then resent them for not giving back the kind of support she thrives on giving. Under the influence of stress, men and women forget why we do what we do.
Over the last fifteen years, a new trend in relationships has emerged linked to increasing stress. Both couples and singles believe they are too busy or too exhausted to resolve their relationship issues, and often think their partners are either too demanding or just too different to understand. Attempting to cope with the increasing stress of working for a living, both men and women feel neglected at home. While some couples experience increasing tension, others have just given up, sweeping their emotional needs under the carpet. They may get along, but the passion is gone.
Without an understanding of our different needs, men and women are adjusting their actions and reactions to no avail. Our actions may be pointed in the wrong direction. Why Mars and Venus Collide provides a new understanding and a variety of techniques you will need to counter the disruptive effects of stress and to steer a true course to a lifetime of love.
Remembering and understanding our differences are only half the battle. The other half is about action--learning to cope more effectively with stress. This book aims to help you discover new ways to lower your own stress and help to lower your partner’s. Whether you are in a relationship, starting over, or single, you will discover a variety of new and practical ways to improve your communication, uplift your mood, increase your energy, elevate levels of attraction in your relationship, create harmony with your partner, and enjoy a lifetime of love and romance. You will learn why communication breaks down or why your relationships have failed in the past, and what you can do now to ensure success in the future.
From Publishers Weekly
The author of the wildly successful Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus now posits that men (Mars) and women (Venus) naturally react differently to everyday stress, which in turn causes more stress in their relationships. When Gray says naturally, he means hormones. When a man, after a stressful day, wants to veg out in front of the TV, he is not rejecting his wife. Rather, he is replenishing his depleted testosterone. And when a woman wants to talk about her day, she is not being a nag. It's just her way of replenishing her cuddle hormone, oxytocin. According to Gray, the fact that women have more body fat means they burn more energy than men, which makes their minds create endless to-do lists. Gray does not consider cultural differences figuring in the stress mix. If anything, Gray seems to come down hard—or focus more—on women, perhaps because women are his most likely audience. Thus, he discusses Why Women Never Forget a Quarrel; and Making a Man Happier Is Easier than You Think (in which he uses a devoted dog as an example). It's simplistic but easy to digest and no doubt headed for the bestseller lists. (Feb.)
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Review
"Helpful in any relationship." -- Booklist
"It’s simplistic...easy to digest and no doubt headed for the bestseller lists." -- Publishers Weekly
"Packed with practical solutions . . . Owing to Gray’s popularity, this book deserves space in every public library." -- Library Journal
"Thought provoking and illuminating." -- BookPage
Customer Reviews
This Doctor gives TWO THUMBS UP!!
I'm a Doctor, and BY FAR the #1 cause of all people's concerns is stress. Whether it's back pain or emotional distress. Financial concerns or lack of energy. It doesn't matter the outward expression. 99% of the time, the ultimate cause is an inability to manage the stresses of their life.
I saw John speak last night, and was blown away by the content of his new book. Finally, a biological basis for who we are as men & women! It's so clear and makes so much sense now.
What I especially appreciated were his easy to apply actions and strategies for creating more happiness and success, both as individuals and as couples.
The few hours spent learning this new material from John last night has instantaneously catapulted the quality of my life, my relationships, and my ability to make a difference and contribute to others.
Thank you John!
Empowering
"The real reason women are tired today is not because they have too much to do. It is because they are not producing enough oxytocin to cope with stress." ~ pg. 81
In "When Mars and Venus Collide," John Gray masterfully guides readers from a place of conflict to a place of peace. He gives the tools that are necessary to cultivate a harmonious relationship and also gives scientific proof to support his main arguments.
While this book seems to have been written mostly for women there is an amazing list of ideas for men who want to boost their partner's oxytocin (helps women deal with stress) levels. There is also a list for women who want to boost their oxytocin levels naturally.
Since the last place you want to be even more stressed is at home with your partner, John Gray shows you how to argue more effectively. Instead of avoiding problems there are ways to connect with your partner while you solve real-life issues.
As life becomes increasingly more stressful it is good to know that there is a way to balance your life through thoughtful actions and positive thoughts. John Gray has refined his message so you can feel the fluidity of his thoughts. At the end of the book, he also discusses lifestyle choices that are essential for health.
This book will encourage a reduction in stress in any Mars and Venus relationship. I can recommend this book to women who are trying to balance their work and home life and need to connect with their partner in a more meaningful way.
~The Rebecca Review
Very important for today's life
Stress is counterproductive to just about everything and it is no surprise to me that stress is so damaging to relationships. I found John's book to be not only interesting, but very useful. This is the right book to recommend to anyone who does not have the time, or rather does not make the time to relax and get to know the people in their lives.
Highly recommended.
I am the author of:
One Boy's Struggle: A Memoir: Surviving Life with Undiagnosed ADD
Bryan





