Product Description

What The Daily Show is to evening news, The Colbert Report is to personality-driven pundit shows. Colbert brings his sarcastic charm to a half-hour report, tackling the important issues of the day and telling his guests why their opinions are just plain wrong. Stephen stands for truthiness and his American right to copyright that word and claim ownership of it.

I AM AMERICA the audiobook, features an all-American cast that includes Paul Dinello, Kevin Dorff, Greg Hollimon, Evie McGee, David Pasquesi, Amy Sedaris, Allison Silverman, Bryan Stack, and Jon Stewart. Stephen Colbert describes his audiobook as a simple audiobook from a simple mind--Stephen Colbert. It is one man's attempt to wedge his brain between hardback covers---in this case CD jackets. In plain conversational language, not to mention the occasional grunt and/or whistle, Stephen explains his take on the most pressing concerns of our culture: Faith, Family...Hygiene.

Why now? Stephen fears America has lost its balls and he hopes to re-ballify us. Even the ladies. Ladies can have balls--lady-balls too. Stephen likes to call those "Thatchers." Stephen will show how he got his mammoth swinging sack, with tales of courage and vital documents from his own life: the Mother's Day card he made at age six, disputed credit card bills, putt-putt score cards--all the major milestones.

Oh and don't buy this if you don't have any balls! But if you do buy it, you will get them, and then you can buy another copy with a clean conscience. (2008)

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #119968 in Books
• Published on: 2007-10-09
• Released on: 2007-10-09
• Formats: Abridged, Audiobook
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 3
• Binding: Audio CD

Features

• ISBN13: 9781600240362
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. As this audiobook opens with patriotic drums rolling, Colbert launches into his introduction, his delivery reminiscent of a sergeant firing up the troops before battle. America is under siege, he declares. And the enemy? The liberal media, Hollywood, heirloom tomatoes and, yes, even baby carrots, which he says are trying to turn me gay. That's the Truth as Colbert sees it, and this audio, as well-produced as an episode of The Colbert Report, is the perfect vehicle for his off-the-cuff (and off-the-wall) humor. A mariachi band plays as Colbert advocates building a 2,000-mile-long wall between the U.S. and Mexico, and spooky music underscores his future opinions (Just because something is unknowable doesn't mean I don't have some strong opinions about it). Periodically, other readers chime in for the Stephen Speaks for Me segments, expertly embodying such characters as God, an old spinster and an overzealous football fan. Those who can't get enough of the Report will savor this savvy satire, including the packaging—which bears a hilarious illustration of Colbert as the Hulk.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist
The funnyman host of Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report rants about things that are wrong with America, offering his “knee jerk beliefs” on everything from the liberal media to environmentalists. If we continue to secularize Christmas, he screeches, former carolers will become wandering, alcoholic bums, and insects will grow into giant, munching minivans. He advocates legalizing performance-enhancing drugs for athletes, since sports are entertainment. Taking on a blowhard persona, he attacks atheists—how could a god exist who created a group that so pisses him off? Atheists are more hated than gays, to whom we at least entrust our hair. Interspersed with Colbert’s shrill tirades are the voices of other characters, notably the more modulated tones of God, who claims to be fair since he does not intercede in the outcome of sports on which he bets. Patriotic drums, a mariachi band, and other music accompanies this hilarious audio. Colbert fans will approve. --Whitney Scott

Review
Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And So Can You), narrated by Colbert with Paul Dinello, Kevin Dorff, Greg Hollimon, Evie McGee, David Pasquesi, Allison Silverman, Brian Stack and Jon Stewart and published by Hachette Audio.  (Print This )

I Am America (And So Can You!) is available both as a book and as a recording read by the author -- each serving as yin to the other's yang. Why try to imagine Colbert speaking the words on the page when, for a few dollars more, you can actually experience it? (Audio File )

Customer Reviews

Side-splitting, laugh-out-loud hysterical...
I read many books in the course of a year, and I tend to rotate between histories, biographies, fiction and mysteries. But every once in a while, I'll read a book that is pure entertainment. Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And So Can You) is side-splitting, laugh-out-loud hysterical!

Colbert is best known for his TV satire on Comedy Central, The Colbert Report. Cobert plays a clueless right-wing pundit who has an opinion on everything--which is never based on fact. The book is divided into three sections, which are then divided into chapters. The chapters cover such hot topics as Sports, Sex & Dating, Homosexuals, Higher Education, Race, The Media, and Science. Cobert gives us his irreverent and uneducated opinion on all things America. "See, at one time, America was pure. Men were men, women were women, and gays were confirmed bachelors." On movies, "once fantastic dreamscapes where cowboys fought Indians and gay men kissed Elizabeth Taylor, became squalid nightmares where cowboys turned tricks and hillbillies kissed Ned Beatty." Colbert includes a whole glassary on science. For Geology, "The last thing I need is a bunch of dust-covered fossil sweepers telling me that the Earth is four billion years old." Also, the author used to be "pro-Fahrenheit" until he found out it was named for a Dutchman. "I don't want my thermometer taking orders from some Amsterdam stoner who got bonged out of his mind one night and started messing around with mercury."

There are also fun things in I Am America. There are two sets of stickers, games, interviews, and the first edition even has a red ribbon bookmark. There are also funny margin notes and footnotes on each page, although I'll "whine" and complain that the print on these could be larger. As a special bonus, he reprints his White House Correspondent's Dinner speech.

Although Colbert plays a dim TV talking head, in real life, he is brilliant, creative and downright funny. If you like The Colbert Report, you'll love I Am America. Even if you don't watch the show, you'll find it a hoot.

Quirky--But exactly what one would expect from Stephen Colbert
If you know about Stephen Colbert, you'll get a buzz out of this. If you don't, you may be outraged, confused, or God knows what. I got this as a Christmas present, and have found this book hilarious. No sacred cows for Colbert! And that will delight some and anger others.

Hey, I'm a college professor/administrator, and he takes shots at me and my ilk! And I love it! On page 119, he says: "If there's a bigger contributor to left-wing elitist brainwashing than colleges and universities, I'd like to see it. There's an old saying, 'A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.' Which means a lot of knowledge must be a really dangerous thing." On the next page, he notes one of the horrors of college (page 120): "The more you know, the sadder you get."

As he points out at the outset (page vii), "Well, like a lot of other dictators, there is one man's opinion I value above all others. Mine."

His segment on families is outrageous--and funny. He begins by noting that "I'm against children" (page 10). Then, he goes on to lay out a number of laws/tips regarding child raising, among which are items that parents will chuckle over.

What about the elderly? No sacred cow here. He notes that (page 23) "After criminals and babies, seniors are the most coddled segment of the population."

On religion and religious freedom (page 48): "Since the Pilgrims were victims of persecution, some assume they were tolerant. That's just liberal propaganda. Sure they were against persecution...of Pilgrims."

And he reflects on the Olympics, on sports generally, on the media (look at his comments on the major networks on page 154), and science (hilarious).

He concludes by noting (among other things) (page 213): "But make no mistake--my book isn't a monologue; it's a dialogue--a dialogue between me and my opinions, and you've been welcomed to eavesdrop on us."

A funny book. People who accept Colbert's humor will like it. Those who don't? They won't. . . .

Behold! The power of Colbert!
Over the three day weekend I happened to find myself in an old-growth national forest looking for tree-huggers to punch in the gullet when I found myself face to face with a towering, black (or so I was told later - I don't see color) Godless Killing Machine.

Of course I would have fought it, had I not injured one of my wrists in a thrilling arm wrestling match with speaker of the house Nancy Pelosi, but as it was, I was left defenseless - except for my copy of "I Am America (And So Can You!)"

Thinking quickly I took the book from my pack and threw it at the charging bear. The throw was strong, my aim was true, and the book hit the beast right on the bean, giving him pause long enough to get distracted from his pursuit by the glowing image of Colbert's face on the cover.

It was in that moment that Stephen and the Bear locked eyes that the full power of truthiness rose from the book and covered the entire forest with a warm tingly sensation, similar to that felt while using "Herbal Essences."

The bear, under the hypnotic spell of Colbert's book, decided then to give up his life as a godless killing machine, to shed his fur, and follow the path of righteousness. From that day forward, this creature would no longer be known as "bear," but now... as "Sean Hannity."

And that's the word.